Cupid's arrows hit Bernal Heights hard this week. Along Cortland Avenue, every storefront from the card store to the cafe to the taqueria is emblazoned with huge red and pink hearts and flowers. What's so romantic about a quesadilla or a double nonfat mocha with whip? Well, anything's romantic when you're sharing it with your honey. Or maybe Bernal just loves window dressing.

Still, the holiday is nearly upon us, and if you've got a sweetheart, you're probably wondering, with eagerness or dread, what to do about it. Personally, I don't ascribe to the fancy-jewelry, table-for-two view of Feb. 14. If you asked me to name my most romantic gifts or moments I've had, I'd remember the poem by Sappho an old girlfriend inscribed for me in gold ink on pink rose petals, one word per petal. Or being picked up from work on Valentine's Day by another date, who whisked me across the Golden Gate Bridge to the Headlands, where we sat on the hood of the car, looking out over the bay and eating take-out shrimp dumplings boxed up from my very favorite dim sum dive. (He knew me well enough to know that heaven, for me, is an endless supply of shrimp dumplings.)

The most romantic notion is the most personal, the gift that makes you feel truly seen. So, what does your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend secretly like best? At home or in the company of like-minded sensualists, this week offers dozens of ways to tease and titillate your valentine.

Popping the cork on a bottle of good champagne may work for me, but for plenty of people, beer's the drink of choice. And conveniently enough, it's Beer Week in San Francisco now through the 14th, with dozens of bars offering many delectable suds, along with brewmaster meet-and-greets. And who says beer and chocolate aren't a perfect match? Serious Eats has an exhaustive guide to pairing the two. Although many of their picks are geared towards East Coast brands like Jacques Torres, the flavor profiles can certainly apply to your favorite Bay Area treats.

Or you can head to Humphry Slocombe and bring home a pint or two of their this-week-only beer ice creams, made with local brews. Beer ice cream! I think someone out there is just waiting to plant a big wet Homer Simpson m'waaah on you for thinking of this, and better yet, bringing it home, stripping down to your underwear, and grabbing a couple of spoons. Especially if you add a side order of Slocombe's cult-favorite caramels (made with Boccalone lard, and much better, and more bacony, than they sound).

In fact, caramel is breathing hard down chocolate's neck this year, a happy development for those less inclined towards the bean. Bi-Rite Market has a particularly fetching selection right now, starting with the salted caramel ice cream from their own Bi-Rite Creamery. Then there are the tamarind-spiked treats whipped up by local Indian baker and confectioner Spice Vice, as well as the vanilla-speckled, cajeta-inspired softies from Happy Goat, enriched with caramelized goat's milk.

Can't decide between caramel and chocolate? Local Charles Chocolates offers the best of both worlds: fleur de sel caramels covered in chocolate, arranged in an edible, flower-printed chocolate box. Or you can invest in Michael Recchiuti's dynamic duo, a jar each of Extra-Bitter Chocolate Sauce and Burnt Caramel Sauce. Who needs a spoon when you can just pour it on and...well, the rest is up to you.

Prefer to play with your food? Check out this list of chocolate spa treatments for two. Get rubbed down (or revved up) with a chocolate-espresso scrub, let yourselves be macerated in rose petals or painted with cocoa butter and chocolate oil, all while enjoying truffles and bubbly. Remember that goofy Axe chocolate man commercial? Like that, only pricier (and presumably, much more pleasing to the nose).

Can't quite swing that spontaneous weekend in Paris this year? Happily, in our European-minded city, there will always be croissants to wake up to (I may be Bernal-biased, but the delicate, extra-flaky ones at Sandbox Bakery are worth the trip up the hill) and pastel macarons in more flavors than Hermès has scarves. People who love macarons really, really love them, and while Miette has its fans, the latest buzz is about the stylishly packaged dainties at Paulette in Hayes Valley, the first NorCal branch of a popular shop in Beverly Hills. Or you can dream of escaping to the French countryside, à la Juliette Binoche in Chocolat, as you melt and roll your own ravishing truffles at La Cocina's chocolate-making class on Feb. 10.

Got a honey who's more salty than sweet? Well, take it from the Fatted Calf: the couple that grinds together, stays together. Head over to the Calf's headquarters in the Oxbow Public Market in Napa for their I Heart Sausage class on Feb. 13th, and get busy making it all: fresh, smoked, poached, and, for all you vampires out there, boudin noir, the infamous (and delectable) blood sausage. Or pencil in a plan for Whole Hog Butchery, Part 1, upcoming on Feb. 27.

To go with your sausage-fest, pick up a bloomy Heart's Desire cheese. Molded in the shape of a heart, it's named after a charming beach along Tomales Bay and made by Cowgirl Creamery this month only, available in their store in San Francisco's Ferry Building as well as at Tomales Bay Foods in Point Reyes. Out of town? You can order it online in a gift pack along with Jasper Hill Farm's Constant Bliss and Redwood Hill's Camillia cheeses, plus a selection of Tcho chocolates. Farmstead Cheeses and Wines in Montclair and Alameda will also be carrying a selection of heart-shaped cheeses this week, including French goat cheese Coeur de Gariottes, sold with rose petal jam; creamy cow's milk Coeur de Bray; and Coeur Cendrée, a goat cheese dusted with ash. And in keeping with the holiday, their weekly Friday & Saturday wine tasting will focus on sparklers and rosés.

Then again, what about dinner? Just about every restaurant in the city will be angling for your V-Day dollar with passion-fruit mousse and hearts of palm salad. Still, I'd like to imagine that all kinds of polyamorous, four- or more-some wake-ups will be happening the morning after the Wild Kitchen's Valentine's Day Dinner. That secret Mission location, those candlelit communal tables full of curious couples, those shared platters of candycap mushrooms and foraged mussels...how can they not inspire more than just gustatory exploration?

As an appetizer, the two (or more) of you can tango down to the Ferry Building on Feb. 12, from 5 to 8pm, for the annual Food from the Heart. After the food-court tourists have gone home, the elegant main promenade will be transformed into a place to sip, nibble, flirt, and perhaps even dance. Local restaurants and wineries will have tables set up offering drinks and small plates for tasting, $2-$4. The money goes towards sending one lucky Ferry Plaza Farmers Market seller to Slow Food's Terra Madre event in Italy this fall.

Socola Chocolatier

One look at Socola Chocolatier's whimsical mascot, a flying white alpaca named Harriet, and you just know that this won't be your typical gourmet chocolate. No, Socola Chocolatier is anything but typical. The promising, Oakland-based enterprise is young, exciting, and full of modern day sass. "Delicately Daring" is quite the perfect motto sister entrepreneurs Wendy and Susan Lieu have chosen for their business.

This Valentine's Day, when the market crowds over with cliché tokens of love, surprise your (guy, girl, self) with something witty, something sexy, something Socola.

Socola Chocolatier's Valentine's Day offering is an assorted box of 12 chocolates ($25) featuring playful flavors like:
• Cupid's Coffee Fix: because all that love stuff can wear a cherub out -- sultry Vietnamese espresso ganache with rich condensed milk, topped with French chicory grounds
• Chambord Shimmie: a pretty little number -- dark chocolate ganache with a hint of raspberry liqueur, blushed ready to shine in her pink glimmer
• Give It To Me Guava: unapologetically bold -- dark chocolate ganache kissed with a tender guava reduction
• Matchmaker Matcha: a sweet match made in heaven -- creamy white chocolate truffles infused with green tea matcha, subtly seductive.

If these inspired love potions aren't reason enough to shed your jaded anti-cupidism, Socola's story will certainly warm your heart.

Wendy (left) and Susan Lieu (right), co-founders of Socola Chocolatier

Chief Chocolatier Wendy Lieu is a graduate of UC Davis with a degree in Managerial Economics. A self-taught chocolatier, she juggled her management consulting job with pastry school to gain additional expertise last year.

Chief Chocolatier Wendy Lieu

Sister Susan is a Harvard alum whose passion for activism and social justice are deeply woven into her business plans for how Socola Chocolatier can play its part in improving social capital and engage the community it brings pleasure to.

Susan and I met up at a local coffee shop in SoMa, and as she told me about how Socola (which means "chocolate" in Vietnamese) was born, the story became much more than just about chocolate. She leaned in and her eyes glowed with conviction. She said, "It is in our blood to start something. Our parents were boat people and fled Vietnam in ’81. They came here and they were entrepreneurs. Our parents opened nail salons, a gardening service, and worked seven days a week for nearly 30 years. Wendy and I started Socola because we too wanted to create."

Apparently sweetness is in their blood too. The girls' grandfather had 11 children, and his family lived in the same house as his brother who had 12 children. He fed his family by making pastries and sweets that his wife sold every day at the market.

The inspiration for many of Socola's flavors come from the wandering travels of the sisters. For example, Give it to Me Guava was inspired from the time Susan spent in Baracoa, Cuba as a humanitarian aid worker. Wendy visited her while she was abroad and every morning the sisters would have guava jelly on toast as the morning sun warmed their faces. Susan also recently returned from a year-long stint in Vietnam developing sustainable cocoa production practices with local farmers in the Mekong Delta where her family used to call home.

Socola Chocolatier's Gold-Dusted Truffles

Socola's chocolates are beautiful, sensual, and they make you feel good. The Socola Sisters are living the dream and pushing forward in their quest to create. Memories, experiences, and a desire to keep seeking are intertwined in the flavors of their labor of love.

Socola Chocolatier is Femininity, Strength, and Spirit. Delicately daring? Yes, I think so.

Note: The Valentine's Day Offering can be pre-ordered online. Online orders must be placed by Friday, February 6th, 2009 to ensure receipt by the 14th .

Chocolates can also be purchased at:
• Alameda Natural Grocery Store 1650 Park St. #L Alameda, Ca
• Daily Delectables 3249 Grand Ave. Oakland, Ca
• (Whole Foods in early March)

I love Valentine’s Day. In addition to it being the day my normally unsentimental husband proposed to me, I see Valentine’s Day as a “free” day for eating chocolate. From morning to late in the evening, all chocolate is fair game.

To celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, I thought it would be fun to make three different kinds of chocolate fondue. Although I’ve trained my kids to love semi-sweet chocolate, we plan on eating the fondue after dinner tonight, which is about an hour and a half before bedtime for my kids. I’m concerned the semi-sweet chocolate will have enough caffeine to wire them just enough to keep them up, so am opting to make a nice white chocolate fondue as well as a creamy milk chocolate one. I also think it will be delicious to have a varied palette of chocolate to choose from.

I must admit that until yesterday, I had never made chocolate fondue. After making a batch last night, however, I am a convert. In addition to it being a remarkably luscious dessert, it is also probably easier than almost any other dessert I’ve ever made.

Before I get into how to make the actual fondue, however, we need to talk about chocolate. When I decided to make fondue, I had a lot of questions. What sort of chocolate should I choose? How much should I use? Should I make it with heavy whipping cream or sweetened and condensed milk? The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to buy the chocolate at Bittersweet, the lovely little chocolate café in the Rockridge district of Oakland, not far from my house. So, with a list of questions in tow, I headed over to Bittersweet.

Bittersweet is a fantastic little café and chocolate shop. In addition to carrying a wide array of fair trade chocolates, they also have a bar where you can order a variety of chocolate drinks: from a classic creamy cocoa or a hot and spicy chocolate, to a white chocolate drink infused with cardamom and spices (which I had and loved).

Becky Vandragt was nice enough to show me around. She listened to my chocolate needs (making fondue for adults and kids) and helped me pick out the best chocolates for my requirements. She started by showing me the white chocolates, of which there were only two. She thought the El Rey Icoa from Venezuela was the best choice. It turns out that most chocolatiers deodorize their cocoa butter so they can sell it to other manufacturers (who make things like lip balm and lotion). The deodorizing process takes out all of those wonderful and natural cocoa smells. El Rey, however, doesn’t sell their cocoa butter. They use it all in-house. This means that their white chocolate retains the natural perfume of the cocoa beans, which gives the white chocolate a more nuanced flavor.

Becky then showed me the milk chocolates. She felt that the E. Guittard and the Michel Cluizel Mangaro Lait were both great choices. I ended up buying the Michel Cluizel simply because it came in a 7 oz. package, while the E. Guittard was 3 oz. package. We then moved over to the other end of the wall of chocolate to find a nice semi-sweet. I told Becky that I planned on flavoring this one fondue with either amaretto or Grand Marnier. I was surprised when she said that I should figure out which one I wanted to use before I settled on a chocolate. I didn’t think it would matter much, but Becky explained that many chocolates have undercurrents of citrus or vanilla and that I should take that into consideration when buying my chocolate. I settled on using Grand Marnier. She then chose a Grenada Organic Dark Chocolate 71%.

After settling on my chocolates, Marienne Warehine, the store manager, gave me a quick rundown on how to make fondue. She felt that heavy cream was the best liquid, as sweetened and condensed milk could make the fondue too sweet and could detract from the complexity of the chocolate. She also felt that you should use a one-to-one ratio when using dark or milk chocolate, but that you should use a two-to-one ratio when using white chocolate. According to Marienne, white chocolate needs more cream to become smooth. Her other bit of very helpful advice was to add any liqueur (to white, milk, or dark chocolate) after everything has melted and fused together because adding it too soon could make the chocolate seize up. I wasn’t quite sure what seized chocolate would look or taste like, but it seemed like something I should definitely avoid.

Last night, I put some of this great advice to the test and made the semi-sweet fondue. We didn’t have any sterno gel for our fondue pot, so I ended up putting the fondue in a glass bowl set in another glass bowl that contained warm water. The fondue stayed silky for about 10 minutes and adhered nicely to the fruit and pound cake I had made earlier that day. I used a one-to-one ratio of heavy cream and the Grenada Organic Dark Chocolate. I then added the Grand Marnier.

White we were admiring how nicely the chocolate tasted with fruit and pound cake, I noted that this was really one of the easiest desserts I had ever made. It literally took me less than five minutes to throw everything together, which included cutting up the bananas and peeling the tangerines. I can’t wait to do it all again tonight.

Recipe for Semi-Sweet Chocolate Fondue with Grand Marnier

Ingredients
7 ounces heavy whipping cream
7 ounces semi-sweet chocolate
2 teaspoons Grand Marnier or other liqueur

Preparation
1. Chop chocolate into small pieces.
2. Heat whipping cream on medium heat until it starts to simmer.
3. Turn off heat and add chocolate.
4. Stir until chocolate is melted.
5. Add to fondue pot or heated bowl and stir in liqueur.
6. Serve with slices of fruit, pound cake, angel food cake, or macaroons.

Note from 2/15/2008 -- I made some white chocolate fondue last night, using a 2-to-1 cream-to-chocolate ratio. The result was a bit drippy and runny. Next time I will use a one-to-one ration (as I did with the semi-sweet and milk chocolate fondues) and then add more heated cream by the teaspoon as necessary to create the right consistency.

Happy St. Juliana's Day. Her life, or at least, her martyrdom, sounds much more interesting than St. Valentine's. She got to wrestle with the devil. She got molten metals poured over her naked flesh while tied between two pillars. She even got to act in a high drama courtroom scene in which the devil himself played witness for the prosecution. And she died a virgin. Perhaps that last bit that doesn't market itself well. She is not the patron saint of anything as far as I can tell, but at least she got her own name day. Today. When depicted in art, she is shown leading the devil, or a dragon, around by a chain. Our local bondage mavens, at least the Catholic ones, should stand up and take notice. If they can get up off their Catherine Wheels to do so.

Okay. Enough of St. Juliana. I was just trying to avoid talking about St. Valentine.

I am tired, tired, tired of his Feast Day. I'm not against romance. Not in the least. I am just against the idea of a special day reserved for lovers. I'm not thrilled about the existence of a day where unrealistic expectations of love perfection are foisted upon couples, especially newly formed ones for whom boundaries have not yet been drawn, for whom the depth of feeling towards each other has not been thoroughly examined. Then, of course, there are all those single people out there.

Oh, you single people might tell yourself, "It's just a silly Hallmark holiday. It means nothing to me."and That may be well and true, but I won't believe you.

I used to say the same thing, even on those Valentine's days that coincided with my being in a relationship. That is, until one signal year when I found my boyfriend giggling in the kitchen with a young ballet dancer. At 7:30 in the morning. In the house we had bought together seven days earlier. On Valentine's Day.

Bitter, party of one? Oh, that's me.

Well, not so much any more. Today, it's just a funny/sad story. But it certainly didn't help to cure me of my VD depression.

In an effort to alleviate the above-mentioned funk. I did a bit of research on antidepressant foods. How to self-medicate without, um, medication? Here's what I came up with. A Valentine's Day cure, if you will.

The ingredients are basic and all shown to be very helpful in combating depression. Thank you, Forbes Magazine, for your article on antidepressant foods...

Salmon is very high in omega-3 fatty acids which not only help the body fight against heart disease and some forms of cancer, but are now showing great promise in fighting depression and stress.

Beets contain uridine, which can increase one's levels of cytidine in the brain. Cytidine, in turn, affects the level of dopamine. Dopamine, as you runners might already know, affects mood. In a good way.

Walnuts are a good source of alpha linolenic acid (one of the omegas). You don't need to eat a whole bowlful, either-- an ounce will do nicely. These dear little nuggest also help fight heart disease and, on Valentine's Day, one's heart needs all the protection it can get.

Molasses also containes uridine. Remember my posting last month about molasses? No? Well, I wrote one. I just didn't know why I enjoyed writing it so much. Now I know.

Here's the recipe-- a combination of all four ingredients. It's very easy to make. We'll call it:

Michael's Valentine's Day Plate of Armor

Ingredients:

1 1/3 to 1/2 pound salmon filet. You are eating this alone, aren't you? Chose a really fatty salmon like King. You need all the fatty acids you can get.
4 beets- red, golden, chioggia-- take your pick. Save the green tops, too
1 ounce walnuts-- toasted. I like mine tossed with sugar and salt fresh from the oven.
1 ounce feta cheese, crumbled
1 tablespoon molasses
1 teaspoon mustard (I used a sweet and hot style)
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar (champagne or white wine vinegar will work, too.)
1 teaspoon shallot, finely minced
4 tablespoons olive oil for vinaigrette, plus one tablespoon for pan roasting the salmon, one tablespoon for roasting beets.
Salt and pepper to taste.

Preparation:

Roasted Beets:

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
2. Line a baking sheet or Pyrex baking dish with aluminum foil.
3. Wash beets thoroughly and trim both ends
4. Pat beets dry with paper towels, then lightly coat with olive oil and a little salt.
5. Place beets on baking sheet and roast in oven for 45 minutes or until done. Obviously, smaller beets will take less time than larger ones, so please exercise judgement.
6. Remove beets from oven when done (to test, poke one with a paring knife. If the knife slips in easily, the beets are done).
7. Let cool.
8. To remove skin, gently rub beets (one at a time, of course) between paper towels. If you've roasted them properly, this should be easy. If you haven't, I just don't know what to tell you.
9. Dice beets into your favotie, easy-to-carve shapes and set aside.

For Molasses Vinaigrette:

1. in a small bowl, add molasses, vinegar, mustard, shallots and salt (as much as you like, to help balance the sweetness of the molasses). Whisk bravely.
2. Slowly drizzle in olive oil, whisking as you do so.
3. Adjust flavors to suit your own tastes.
4. Set aside

Salmon:

1. Rub salmon with salt on both sides-- skin and flesh.
2. In a size-appropriate saute pan, heat one tablespoon of olive oil over medium-high heat until very hot, just not quite smoking.
3. Add salmon filet to the pan, skin side down. Cook for about two minutes over the heat. Do not try to move the salmon. Let it stick. It will give in. It will release its grip on the pan.
4. Throw (or place gently, whatever your mood) salmon into the still-425 degree oven for approximately five minutes or as long as you want, depending upon how well done you like your salmon. I like mine a medium rare. Actually, I like my salmon raw, but this recipe calls for a more thorough cooking.

Beet Greens:

1. Throw well-cleaned beet greens into saute pan that has one tablespoon of olive oil already heating in it. Throw in a pinch of salt, too.
2. Cover and steam, moving the greens about now and then, for about 5 to 7 minutes. Many people might argue that greens need to cook for longer, but I don't think that is necessary in this case. We're going for nutrients here, not slow-cooked-with-bacon goodness. They're still good this way. Just try it.

To assemble:

1. While salmon is roasting, warm the already-cooked beets and toss with vinaigrette (Better whisk the dressing again, because it will have separated by now).
2. Shake excess liquid from beet greens and place on a platter. Add vinaigrette-tossed beets, walnuts and feta (I like it with a bit of Feta, but you may leave this out if the whole fish-and-cheese combination makes you squeamish, which it shouldn't, by the way. Think tuna melt.) Grind a little pepper, sprinkle a little salt.
3. Slide salmon on top and drizzle the dish with the vinaigrette. Eat while hot. Actually, the dish is fine (minus the greens) to eat cold, too.
4. Think happy thoughts.

Just think how healthy you'll be after eating this dish. Whether you're now ready for a healthy relationship is another matter entirely. If that thought has suddenly depressed you (again), eat some chocolate. A lot of chocolate-- that's an antidepressant, too.

P.S. Apropos of nothing, there has been a meme flying about the food blogosphere called Five Things About Me. Call it fun. Call it annoying. Whatever you decide to label it, it's ended up a great way for me to find out about other food bloggers out there. Click or don't click, it's up to you.

It's too late to book a table at your favorite restaurant, fortunately dinner at home can be more relaxed and romantic anyway. If yesterday's post inspired you to create your own Valentine's Day feast, we have some suggestions for you based on past posts.

Whether you are dining with your loved one or throwing an impromptu dinner party for 4, fondue makes for a fun and intimate meal. This time of year a pot of bubbling cheese is not only delicious but hearty and comforting too. Stephanie's recipe for fondue is a winner.

There's something decidedly sexy about seafood. It's the briny taste of the ocean, the delicacy and sweetness. Don't let me get all porno, just make your beloved a plate of Seared Scallops & Celeriac Salad Salad in an Orange-Mustard Dressing, one of Laura's classic recipes.

For me, caviar is precious and perfect for a dinner for two. It's too pricey to buy a lot. At New World Market you can buy caviar and homemade blini. That's what I plan on doing!

For something French and fabulous, but with everyday ingredients you probably have on hand, crepes fit the bill. Shuna provides a sweet crepe recipe that will impress your date.

What's Valentine's Day without chocolate? I have no idea. But it's probably not worth celebrating. Just in time for the holiday Charles Chocolates has opened up a retail store, it's the only place to find the entire line of chocolates and is located at 6529 Hollis St. between 65th and 66th Streets, the store is open from 11:00AM until 7:00PM seven days a week. Read about a visit behind-the-scenes at Charles Chocolates or read an interview with chocolatier Chuck Siegel.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love is nothing short of a national sport here in France and the French claim to celebrate it every day of the year, not just on February 14th. It is more beloved than soccer or philosophical debate, though love plays heavily into both. All store fronts are bedecked with Valentine's decorations but regardless of the time of year, people are always kissing.

Sometimes it's charming, like this couple below I spotted smooching after a long lunch at the Palais Royal; other times you want to hurl, like when the couple in line in front of you at the post office are slobbering on each other so much so you feel like you are in the front row of the dolphin show at Marine World. Anyways, back to Valentine's Day...

I got a bit carried away with the heart theme. I bought heart dessert plates, too many red flowers, big red chargers and little porcelain heart dishes for the amuse bouche. We cut hundreds of hearts from a block of foie gras, roasted beets and country bread. The dessert was heart shaped, the foie gras amuse was heart shaped, as were the sliced beets and croutons that topped the soup. Fortunately, my friend Jeff came over for a few hours in the early afternoon and saved the day. I immediately delegated all heart cutting duties to Jeff as I began dicing the tiny mango and beet brunois (1mm x 1mm dice).

There were of course a few disasters. It wouldn't be a normal day in my kitchen without at least one or two things going wrong. This time one was culinary, the other travel. I am beginning to think my kitchen is haunted and I know I am cursed travelwise. First I roasted the parsnips to make the soup. I didn't have much time so I cubed the parsnips to roast as quickly as possible. I put the oven on 300F but the parsnips on the lowest sheet pan still burned on the bottom. I spent the next hour carefully slicing off the burned bottoms as my blood pressure creeped north. I had not factored in an hour to slice off burned parsnip into my timeline. ARGH!

Then, about midway into my mango brunois-ing my stomach did a flip. I forgot to buy my ticket back to SFO in a week and it expired the previous night! AAACK! I dialed up United and was told my flight from Paris to Frankfurt was still there but the leg from Frankfurt to San Francisco was gone. I took a deep breath and tried not to cry, envisioning Seat 53B next to the bathroom as the last remaining seat. Miraculously my same seats were still available and I bought the ticket right there on the spot. Disaster no.2 avoided and another 20 minutes eaten into my timeline.

For each dinner, I try to cook a different recipe for the main course. I thought about roasting a filet mignon but cooking meat makes me nervous and always involves some sort of drama. This I was desparately trying to avoid. I was flipping through the Canyon Ranch cookbook looking for inspiration when a scallop recipe reminded me of one I made in cooking school.

a recipe from cooking school and my to do list and timeline...

Scallops I can do plus I knew there would be two other cooks at dinner in case things got crazy in the kitchen. I keep forgetting to buy a salad spinner so my dishrack once again saved the day. Necessity is the mother of invention, as they say...

I bought rings to stack risotto, then wilted spinach and arugula, topped with sauteed scallops, cut in half crosswise and fanned around in a circle. A drizzle of lemon oil (zest and juice of 3 lemons blended with a cup of olive oil) and some beet and mango brunois on top of the scallops, around the plate and call it a day.

La Fete des Amoureux!
Valentine's Day!
Samedi, 10 Fevrier 2007
chez Laura en Paris

Brut Cuvee Rose, Champagne Veuve Monnier

Pate aux Armignac - Pate with Armignac on Croutons with Cornichons

Endive avec Framboises et Roquefort - Endive with Blue Cheese and Raspberries

Amuse Bouche
Chateau de Rolland Sauterne, Barsac 2000
Petit Coeur de Foie Gras avec Noisettes et Balsamique - Small Heart of Foie Gras with Chopped Roasted Hazelnuts and Balsamic Reduction Drizzle

Pernand-Vergelesses, Bourgogne 2002
Sous le Bois de Noel et les Belles Filles (Under the Christmas Tree and Beautiful Girls)

Potage de Panais avec Couers de Betterave et l'Huile de Truffe - Parsnip Soup with Beet Hearts, Heart Croutons and Truffle Oil Drizzle

Coquille Saint-Jacques, Risotto et Epinard avec l'Huile de Citron - Scallops Stacked with Risotto and Spinach with Lemon Oil Drizzle and Mango and Beet Dice

Domaine de Banneret, Chateauneuf du Pape 2002

Assiette des Fromages - Cheese Plate

Decadence de Chocolat et Glace de la Fruit de Passion Fait Maison - Chocolate Decadence Heart with Homemade Passionfruit Ice Cream with Passionfruit Coulis

Bonne Fete des Amoureaux! Happy Valentine's Day!

Most of my usual posse along with a few new faces... one you might see on the next Top Chef....sssssssh!

---------------------

A RED, RED ROSE
by Robert Burns

O my luve's like a red, red rose.
That's newly sprung in June;
O my luve's like a melodie
That's sweetly played in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will love thee still, my Dear,
Till a'the seas gang dry.

Till a'the seas gang dry, my Dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
I will luve thee still, my Dear,
While the sands o'life shall run.

And fare thee weel my only Luve!
And fare thee weel a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it were ten thousand mile!

LOVE ME TENDER
by Elvis Presley

Love me tender,
Love me sweet,
Never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
And I love you so.

Love me tender,
Love me true,
All my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin I love you,
And I always will.

Love me tender,
Love me long,
Take me to your heart.
For its there that I belong,
And well never part.

Love me tender,
Love me dear,
Tell me you are mine.
Ill be yours through all the years,
Till the end of time.

When at last my dreams come true
Darling this I know
Happiness will follow you
Everywhere you go.

My Bay Area Bites posts, dear reader, will often be preambled by a warning.

In this case, stop reading now if you have never wondered what edible underwear taste like and you don't want to know. Ditto for revulsion to the very idea of honey, coconut, peppermint, strawberry and chocolate ever gracing your nether regions or those of a loved one, for what follows is a review of what I'll call adult novelty fusion food, all procured at Good Vibrations, the Bay Area's leading sex toy outlet.

Fasten your strap-ons: It's going to be a bumpy blog post.

Kama Sutra Honey Dust

Let's start with a fantasy.

Imagine that you're a fabulously well-appointed Indian courtesan, and a happy one at that. Imagine the warm evening wind wisping through the transparent sunset-hued silk curtains that hang around your princess-and-the-pea bed, providing a sexy patina of privacy in the flickering candlelight. Savor the scent of jasmine drifting in from the balcony and the charmingly distant moo of water buffalo. Relish the well-fed child plucking a sitar just outside your door.

Are you with me?

Now, reach for your beautiful tin of Kama Sutra Honey Dust, pluck out the feather duster that it houses, and flicker a bit across the inside of your wrist, or maybe across your knee.

Inhale.

Lovely, isn't it?

And now, taste: Equally lovely -- sweet but not too sweet, perhaps even slightly reminiscent of the tastiest Indian dessert ever, gulab jamun.

Now, disembark from the fantasy and run, next time you have a spare $25 bucks and the urge to wear something sexy to work, to buy some Honey Dust. Never mind bedroom use: a surreptitious lick of your Honey-Dusted wrist -- or knee -- at two in the afternoon at your cubicle just might sutra your kama for the rest of the afternoon quite sweetly.

And keep in mind that Honey Dust, as its primary ingredient is cornstarch, can also thicken your gravy.

Extra Strong Sugar Free Peppermint Nipples

Pert Peppermint Nipples ("Fresh and Frisky") cost $5 and come in a spunky black tin garnished by a brunette with a Jane Russell-esque body. The mints themselves are disk-shaped, a little less than an inch in diameter, with a tiny protrusion. While they are tasty -- a gentler peppermint than Altoids -- I like them even more because they're relatively large, for a mint, and last a long time. In fact, I timed one: One peppermint nipple lasts for a lengthy 10 minutes of sucking.

My tin of Peppermint Nipples is stationed in my car, where it makes for a great conversation piece with friends riding shotgun, and the mints serve the perfect oral pick-me up.

Chocolate Body Painting

This product, whose awkward gerundified name I'll chalk up to poor translation since it's manufactured in Montreal, is nearly as well-packaged as Honey Dust: It's as elegant as a perfume bottle, and you really have to peer closely at the label to see exactly what the kimono-clad couple are up to. It's equipped with a neat little miniature spatula, but as the spatula was not sheathed in sanitary plastic wrap, I dispensed with it and opted for "au naturel" (which in my lingo means "on my finger").

"Set your artistic side free. Paint a love story on your partner's body," the label advises. "It's insanely delicious..."

My idea of "insanely delicious," when it comes to spreadable chocolate, is Nutella -- especially when "au naturel", so I compared the two. Trust me, $12 peinture de corps chocolatée doesn't qualify, but maybe that's because I sampled it on on first my finger, then a baguette, instead of someone else's thigh.

Rather, it is in the "C" range of Hershey's syrup -- thin, with a hint of plastic. But I won't let it go to waste: I'll remember it's in the cupboard -- the one in the kitchen -- the next time I have an eight-year-old with a hankering for chocolate milk on my hands.

Toasted Coconut Lickable Oil

This product is just one in Good Vibration's exclusive line of "body candy". The label declares that it is "natural, non-sticky, edible, non-staining, and delicious!". Oxymoronic though the labelling might be (which in addition to calling it 'edible' also stated that it was for 'external use only'), this is a tasty $5 investment, calling to a mind a long hot afternoon on a deserted tropical beach, a pitcher of pina coladas, and a cabana boy.

One could easily drizzle Toasted Coconut Lickable Oil on top of dessert -- a non-breathing one made of flour and sugar, I mean -- and no one would know that it was meant for body part.

Edible Undies

Don't even try and tell me that you have never ever once wondered about edible underwear. You've seen the package -- the glossy red lipsticked mouth seemingly torpedoed by a chocolate-dipped strawberry -- but have you ever read the copy, which the California manufacturer offers in both French and English, implying that Francophones and Anglophones are equally zealous consumers of "dessous mangeables"?

"Sensuellement Delicieux!"

"Licking well, body heat [and] moisture all enhance the flavour of your Edible Thong. Tie strings loosely to avoid breakages, tie back and enjoy..."

Enjoy before 12/20/2015, that is.

Yes, your $5 edible underwear will last ten years -- likely longer than your non-edible underwear. Unless, of course, you wash it, take a bath with it, or otherwise expose it to an unspecified "forte humidite": "Garment will dissolve in water or excessive moisture."

But we haven't even opened the box yet, never mind tasted its contents.

First, let me assure you, there's a reason why there is no photograph of the edible thong on the package: It's because le dessous mangeables -- which I'm not sure even sounds sexy in French -- resembles a jinormous pink transparent diaper, sexy perhaps if repurposed as a Playboy rain poncho for Barbie (assuming there is no rain, of course), but most decidedly unsexy for human couture, with or without "forte humidite".

And then there was the taste -- supposedly "fraise et chocolat" -- which is about as sexy as the bottom of your kitchen garbage can two days after Thanksgiving when you still feel too fat to take out the trash.

Oh, the bitterness, of the type that launches one's face into a thousand contortions!

Oh, the texture, which clings to the roof of one's mouth and sticks to one's molars like Krazy Glue!

For the love of God and foie gras, dear reader, don't ever, ever let edible underwear cross your unsuspecting palate, nevermind your nether regions. Your tongue and other body parts will never, ever forgive you.

Tune in in two weeks for my next installment in the food-for-sex scandal: 101 uses for flavored lubricant, just in time for Valentine's Day.