Sometimes it's hard to keep up. Between seemingly daily San Francisco restaurant openings and brand new food websites, it seems like change is a constant. And like all things, some of those additions are good and some--not so much. So today I'm going to show you around five new food websites that are aiming to make a name for themselves by finding a little niche in the market. Who knows? Maybe you'll find one you like (I did).

Kitchen Monki
Kitchen Monki touts themselves as "your ultimate cooking utensil." The site is designed for home cooks and aims to be a place to store recipes, set up a weekly meal plan and generate grocery lists working from that plan. It's basically like a technologically advanced version of what I remember my mom doing on legal pads while we were growing up. It's not for me, personally. I'm far from that organized and rarely know what I'm going to have for lunch let alone what I'm going to have for dinner next Friday. But I can see it catching on, and it's a great tool for busy families who want to lay out their weekly meals and move on to other things. Once you generate your grocery list, they'll actually shoot it over to your iphone or blackberry which is pretty cool and they have an easy-to-use sort and search function to help you find exactly which recipe you're looking for based on ingredients, meal types or courses. So all in all, I think it'll stick around. If you're a planner and have a few people in your household, it might be worth checking out.
Twitter: @kitchenmonki

Yummly
Yummly started up in June and is, from what I can tell, one of the first semantic search sites for food and recipes. They claim to have over 500,000 recipes from all over the web although when I did extensive searches, it seemed most were mainly from Epicurious and Food.com (Formerly Recipe Zaar). You can search by ingredient, nutrition, taste, price, and even by allergy. Then when you find a recipe you're interested in, Yummly will pull up its full profile, showing a rating by taste profile (salty, savory, sweet, sour, bitter) and nutrition facts. I found the taste profile to be a little kitschy and wondered who exactly deemed each recipe as such: have they made and tasted them all? You can become a member of the site for free (then you'll be coined a "tastebud") and will receive taste specific recipe suggestions, can connect with other "tastebuds," and can organize and edit all of your recipes. Members can "favorite" things so you can begin to establish a rapport with other people online and see what they're cooking. I like the idea of this site, I just think the execution needs some polishing. More variety of recipe sources would help, and sometimes--call me crazy--the social media component of a website or concept could just be left at home. I'm not sure it's working here. Personally I'd never join because there's no part of me that wants to be coined a "tastebud" and between twitter and facebook, who has time for more online networking?
Twitter: @yummly

Punk Domestics
I smiled when I came across Punk Domestics a few weeks ago. Why? Because it's just downright cool. The site itself is largely user-generated, meaning folks join and can then post relevant content about preserving, canning, pickling or "otherwise celebrate the resurgence of the domestic arts our forebears held so dear." What's cool about the content is it literally links to other folks' blogs so you are introduced to blogs you'd never heard of and techniques that may be new to you. In addition to canning and pickling recipes, there is a "Tools" page (self-explanatory) and a "Techniques" page with great tips to help the at-home "punk domestic" get going. The site isn't too busy, its scope is pretty narrow, it's organized well, and with the popularity of urban farming and preserving, I think it's going to be a success.
Twitter: @punkdomestics

Homegrown
The concept behind Homegrown is a little tough to pin down at first. So let me try and lay it out for you. Their introduction states that they're an online community of people "interested in all things homegrown: growing, cooking, crafting, brewing, preserving, building, making and creating." So when it comes right down to it, this is a spot where folks can share ideas and book recommendations or ask questions in the Forum. You can also join groups or mini communities that are more topic-specific (for example, join up with people who are into canning). You can also start a Member Blog, where you're posting original, relevant content on the Homeroom site. There's a lot to like here in my opinion because it's all about the genuine sharing of ideas and interests in an organized, relevant way. Like-minded folks seem to finding it and relishing it. That's a good sign of things to come.

Plummelo
Plummelo is in its beta version and is similar to Kitchen Monki in a sense but I almost like it better. While the design is starkly simple and a bit uninspired, the user has much more control over the content (so you're not just working with recipes from Epicurious and Recipe Zaar). The site itself is designed to help cooks save recipes that they find anywhere online and move forward to plan their shopping lists. Once you join for free, you'll have a little Plumello Browser Button on your browser's toolbar and it automatically stores recipes you like that you've found from all over the web (food blogs, online magazines etc.). Then from there, you can share them, organize them, and generate shopping lists. Cool idea. I think their success depends on the number and variety of users and the content they'll bring to the site.

So there you have it. If anything, creativity abounds here as people try and pull away from bigger food sites and infuse their concept with elements of sharing, conversation, and social networking. I suppose the main question is how well they pull apart from the big boys, what kind of niche they create, and if they can capture new user's attention. Some are certainly doing it better than others. Those will be the ones I'll return to.

In celebration of our most patriotic holiday, I am declaring my own independence from what I consider one of the most irritating sites on the internet-- Yelp.com. Even the name causes me to chafe.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word "yelp" means:

1. Noun: a sharp shrill bark or cry (as of a tog or turkey); (see) also squeal.

2. Intransitive verb: To utter a sharp quick shrill cry.

At least. they've given themselves an accurate name.

Perhaps it is my own, personal distaste for democracy, especially in terms of voting for, say, restaurants (think Zagat), pop singers (think American Idol), or even presidents (think about whomever you wish) that makes me dislike sites such as Yelp. Before your underwear gets anymore bunched in places, I am hardly un-American. I am a firm believer in our particular form of government, which happens to be republican, rather than democratic. And before your y-fronts become irretrievably lodged, I am referring to systems of government, not political parties. For the sake of argument today, I shall limit my discussion to restaurant commentary.

It seems that anyone with access to a computer today can write a restaurant review, myself included. But is everyone's opinion worth reading, let alone writing? That is certainly debatable. I for one, don't think so.

Call me a snob. Call me an elitist pig. I've been called much worse.

Of course, I believe that everyone is certainly entitled to his or her opinion, but many opinions expressed on sites like Yelp are neither well-informed nor, as is more often the case, well-written.

For example, I've chosen three reviews of Brenda's French Soul Food on Polk Street, which has, as of this posting, 338 Yelp reviews. This is from a four yelp star rated piece:

"I enjoyed this place a lot. We found parking right on Vaness. Our wait was about 20 minutes. We arrived at 11am I think. It will seat about 20 people-30people. I did not see Brenda though."

"My first time eating beignets -- I did not know it came in threes, I should of ordered one of each. We got three apple ones. It was gooood and fattening."

"I ordered the bowl of gumbo (dark gumbo). I am use to the tomatoey colored gumbo but it was pretty good."

"Also got an entree of the Harrytown special which includes oysters, grits and biscuits."

"I loved the biscuits."

"Cute little place to revisit or bring out of towners."

Harrytown Special? I can only assume she meant Hangtown Fry. With testimonials like this, it's not surprising the restaurant sustains such long lines out the door. Are reviews such as these typed on a texting keypad, rather than at a keyboard? That would be a charitable explanation of such short sentences. It's like some unevocative, bastard form of haiku. It horrifies, but that's just fine, since I tend to savor crappiness. The only point it serves, in my book, is as the object of mockery.

Now here is an excerpt from a not-so-good (two yelp star) review:

"Just before we passed out from hunger, they brought over our beignet flight which was good, our favorite beignet was the crawfish. The only other compliment I have is for the coffee. The breakfast plates were mediocre. My friend, who was starving, took 5 bites of her omelette and left the rest."

She certainly has a flair for the dramatic. If one decides to set out and review a restaurant, whether one has enjoyed the experience or not, one should, to the best of one's ability, explain why. What made these crawfish beignets good? What could possibly compel a starving woman to take only five bites of an omelette? These are things I want answered. If a reviewer cannot accurately describe her experience-- the food she ate, the service she received, or her surroundings-- she has no business wasting anyone's time with her fourth-grade writing skills. Make that third grade-- I know a couple of nine year-olds who write much more vividly.

And, finally, here's a rather terrible (one yelp star) piece:

"I am as honest as a heartbeat, so believe me when I say that this spot is highly overrated. I just have no desire to come again-- wait or no wait."

"I had a bit of all four of our plates and the sampler benettes, so here goes my opinion..."

"My dish-- The Shrimp and Goat Cheese Omelet Grits and Cream Biscuit-- The shrimp was not devianed and thus flavorless. I opted not to have the bacon relish on top so I will be fair and refrain from further commenting about it. I like my gritts creamier than it was but it was tastey and the buiscutt was pretty good."

"Watermelon Sweet Tea-- Free refills, but they don't really tell you that. liked it because it was not sweet, and I like water. It was also luke-warm."

"The Chalkboard Special, Shrimp Pot Pie- The shrimp was overcooked and rubbery, and the veggies were overcooked and mushy. Boo Hoo!"

Honest as a heartbeat. Perhaps she should have her cardiologist examine her for arrythmia. I don't trust anyone starts off by telling me how honest she is. It was a bad review on a number of levels, star ratings aside. I do, however, admire her creative spelling, the fact that she feels shrimp proto --intestines are where all the flavor is, and that she can't tell the difference between a mirror and a chalkboard. I read the bit about why she likes the Watermelon Sweet Tea about ten times.

If you're interested in reading about her bikini waxing at the Pink Cheeks Skin Salon in Sherman Oaks, I will happily email you her yelp profile.

I had hoped the members of Yelp Elite might be a little more helpful or, at least, better writers, since the elite page states:

"...Yelp members who get in are known for having reviews that are insightful, irreverent and personal (aka useful, funny and cool!)."

Of course, it also requests that Elite members have:

"Personal pizazz! Even after all this, we look for a certain je ne sais quoi—we call it Yelpitude. To paraphrase Supreme Court Justice James Stewart when defining pornography in a case about obscenity, 'Yelp Elite is hard to define, but we 'know it when we see it.'"

Perhaps I should have sensed trouble when I realized the Yelp Elite squad (or, at least, the person responsible for writing the copy) had mistaken a much-beloved Campbell's Soup-hawking actor for Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart.

The first elite reviewer I read was a young lady named Beverly. She went on and on about her experience with a DAT date to Frisée Restaurant in the Castro. I hope that by DAT she meant "Dine About Town". Please read:

"Sidenote: It was cramped as s**t. We sat upstairs and the ceiling was like 6 feet high and we sat at a tiny itty bitty table next to a tiny itty bitty walk way. Oh and the service. SLOW AS S**T. I want to minus stars for the service but the food was so good I just can't bring myself to do it."

What is it about her personal writing style that led her to become part of the Yelp Elite? Was it her penchant for using fecal terms when describing her experience? Perhaps it was her photos (which are required of all Elite members). Maybe her two lip rings at the right-hand corner of her mouth catch enough food so that she might savor it more thoughtfully upon her return home from dining, quill pen in hand and that deep-in-thought dreamy look that only fake, blue-tinted contact lenses can properly convey. Does she have "that certain je ne sais quoi"? I'm thinking it's more like elle ne sait rien.

Well, I've had my fun at Yelp's expense today, but to be fair(ish), I must say that, in browsing the site for several hours this week, I have come across some people who do offer thoughtful-- and fairly well-written-- reviews. Case in point: Kerry "Tempura Assassin" K in describing her experience at Burritoville in San Anselmo:

"[My husband] was a little more offended at the sight of iceberg lettuce on his carne asada taco ($2.95) than I was. Granted, yes, iceberg lettuce in a Mexican restaurant is an insult to my intelligence, I was able to forgive. This was largely due to the chips, which were thick, crisp, and toasty as well as a lovely salsa bar, friendly and welcoming service, a clean environment, and a buy 9 get 1 free taco card."

"Caveat lector: on the back of the frequent buyer card, it spells out the number of tacos in spanish, "uno, dos, etc." After the 9th one it says "bingo gringo". Gringo eh? That must mean that either Latinos and Chicanos don't eat here or the food isn't real Mexican. So perhaps my taste can't be trusted with this review. If you keep reading, read on with that in mind."

Finally, someone who notices and describes those little details that make a review worth reading. That, and the fact that she used the term caveat lector correctly (or at all). A bright, shining tablet of antacid to save me from so much Yelping bile. I'd really like to hug her. If elite membership could be limited to the likes of Kerry, I think I might have a little more faith in the website. Otherwise, what is the point of creating an elite class, if it is open to, well, everyone?

If you accused me of elitism, you'd be absolutely correct in doing so. Why should I waste my time reading the average person's average review? I don't want an average guy running my country, building my home, or giving me a colonoscopy. I want experts. I want smart people. Same goes for my restaurant reviewers. If all you can give me in describing a gumbo is "OMGITSAWESUM!!!", perhaps you should just keep it to yourself. The world beyond your Myspace friends list is not ready for you.