It was that rarest of all rare birds, a San Francisco summer day that started warm and stayed that way through sunset and into dusk. Indeed, last Wednesday evening was almost Brooklyn balmy, a day for sundresses and sandals, popsicles and a tall cool drink after dark. Inside the dim environs of Bourbon & Branch, it was downright tropical, with a sweaty summer heat not even a couple of jumbo-sized fans could mitigate.

Still, no one at the launch party for Left Coast Libations: The Art of West Coast Bartending: 100 Original Cocktails. After months of miserable chilly fog, it was finally, finally tank-top weather, just for a night. Against a backdrop of flocked red wallpaper, rows of books, and gleaming liquor bottles, Ted Munat and his co-author Michael Lazar were making the rounds of the room, showing off copies of their brand-new, self-published paen to the West Coast's most inventive bartenders.

Now a snappy, 160-page hardcover, the book started out as something more like a church cookbook, a little self-produced tome created by Munat and his brother Charles, with a handful of bartenders' bios alongside recipes for their favorite original creations. Munat, who blogs about cocktail culture at Le Mixeur, passed around the first version at Tales of the Cocktail, the boozy New Orleans celebration & cocktail conference. Naturally, the bartenders loved to read about themselves. The only problem was the recipes; while other pros could usually decipher the often cryptic instructions, the average guy with a shaker and a bag of ice wasn't going to get a good-tasting drink out of these jottings. Enter Michael Lazar, a high-tech guy turned cocktail obsessive, who jumped in to spend some 2 years testing and refining the recipes to make them workable even for amateurs.

Then again, this is definitely a bartenders' book for bartenders. As a snapshot of a particular moment in cocktail culture, it's invaluable. And in a few years, just like the outfits in Flashdance or the haircuts in Liquid Sky, it will be a cautionary tale, an artifact of a sleeve-gartered, molecular-mixology, pre-Prohibition-obsessed post-post modernism where bitters reigned, gin ruled, St. Germain elderflower liqueur flowed, no one ever asked for a Cosmo or a vodka tonic, and recipes for Smoked Cider Air, Basil Foam, and (yes, really) Smoked Ice were given with complete sincerity.

And then there's the Thomas Keller factor: just like hot-shot chefs, top-shelf bartenders often have the freedom (and budget) to ferret out obscure liquors and create labor-intensive, in-house garnishes and flavorings. A glossary with sourcing information would be very helpful; instead, if you don't already have bottles of Velvet Falernum and Amaro Montenegro in your cocktail cabinet, you're not going to find out what they are or where to buy them here.

However, for those wondering what cocktails tasted like before artificially colored, high-fructose corn-syruped mixtures took over, the back-of-the-book appendix is very useful, with recipes for all kinds of cool stuff from the basic (grenadine syrup, Earl Grey tea-infused gin) to the nifty (banana-flavored rum, agave ginger syrup, strawberry tequila, thai chili tincture) to the fancy-pants (maple syrup gastrique, saffron sharbat, pear foam).

The cocktails, photographed by Jenn Farrington, glow with promise. They all seem to be what Raymond Chandler describes as "the first quiet drink of the evening in a quiet bar -- that's wonderful," in his perfect LA noir, The Long Goodbye. (The same character later insists that, "A real gimlet is half gin and half Rose's Lime Juice and nothing else. They beat martinis hollow.")

The writing, well, it's bloggy. Every bartender is a star, and Munat uses every slangy superlative (and then some) to make sure the reader knows what fantastic craftsmen, artists, and all-around bon vivants/shy geniuses/supermentors these guys are. (And yes, they are almost all guys. Out of some 50 bartenders, only 5 are women, and 4 of them--Brooke Arthur, Jennfer Colliau, Christine D'Abrosca, and Jackie Peterson-- work in San Francisco.) How much you can take of this kind of hero worship may depend on how much of your happiness depends on getting that perfect Negroni, Corpse Reviver, or Blood and Sand.

Then again, those Saffron Sandalwood Sours were awfully good. Cheers to the West Coast, and may your mustache never lose its twirl, nor your sleeve garters their snap.

Saffron Sandalwood Sour. Photography © Jenn Farrington 2010

Saffron Sandalwood Sour
Created by Anu Apte of Seattle's Rob Roy. Recipe adapted from Left Coast Libations.

1 1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz lemon juice
1/2 oz Saffron Sharbat (see below)
1 barspoon Angostura bitters
1 egg white
Sandalwood, for garnish

1. Using a cocktail shaker, dry shake all the ingredients except for the sandalwood.

2. Add ice and shake again. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

3. To garnish, sprinkle powdered sandalwood over the top of the drink. You can also grind sandalwood chips in a spice grinder, sifting the result through a fine strainer to lay a "dusting" over the top of the drink.

Saffron Sharbat
Makes enough for 16 cocktails, but keeps indefinitely. It can also be used to make a refreshing non-alcoholic drink with fresh lime juice and sparkling water.

1 tbsp boiling water
1/4 tsp saffron threads
1 1/4 cups water
2 cups sugar
1/4 cup rosewater

1. Crush saffron threads between your thumb and forefinger. Bring 1 tbsp water to a boil, the add saffron to the hot water. Let saffon steep for 15 minutes.

2. Mix 1 1/4 cups water and sugar in a small, heavy saucepan. Cook, stirring, over medium heat until sugar is dissolved.

3. Add rosewater and saffron mixture to sugar syrup.

4. Simmer over medium heat for five minutes.

5. Remove from heat and let cool. Transfer to a jar or plastic container and store, covered, in the refrigerator.

The San Francisco Launch Party for Left Coast Libations will be held at Heaven's Dog, 1148 Mission St, S.F. on Sept. 14th at 9pm.

Chef Gordon Drysdale is back in the kitchen, at the newly opened Café Des Amis, a Union Street restaurant project that he has been working on via his role as Chef & Partner for the locally owned Bacchus Management Group. Drysdale is also in charge of the kitchens at Pizza Antica locations, which recently opened a Santa Monica outpost. Drysdale still fields requests for his trademark dish of Brussels sprouts salad, which he calls an unlikely best seller, "It's like having rutabaga on the menu, with 100s of thousands of people asking 'when will it be on the menu?'" adding he's happy to have a popular dish that resonates. The dish first caught notice in the late 1990s, at his much celebrated Gordon's House of Fine Eats.

The Favorites
Drysdale has lived in the Homestead Valley area of Mill Valley for years, with his wife Susie, and two pre-teen sons, Miles, and Monroe. The Rochester, New York native describes the area as "old timey and cool, very Kerouac-ish." He admits that he likes to dine out with the family when he has a day off, but given the chance, "I'd probably go to Benu tonight if I could, like everyone else." The chef has visited Royal Thai Restaurant in San Rafael at least 900 times in the past twenty years, and he orders the same three dishes each visit. "Tofu with spicy green beans and basil; wheat gluten with potato and yellow curry; and ground pork with lime and chili. My older son, Miles gets his own order of the ground pork dish, and Monroe digs into the chicken satay." This restaurant gets the highest praise from Drysdale, who said, "it's the most consistent restaurant I've eaten anywhere. In my life.'

Cactus Café in Mill Valley is where Drysdale likes to eat a house salad with "what tastes like a marjoram laced dressing, very interesting. It comes with a quesadilla, and is very simple. For a son of authentic British stock, this is very easy to take."

Drysdale deadpans, "We're always looking for some variation on the theme of white for Monroe: pasta, pizza, and French fries." Mamacita in the Marina keeps his sons happy, where carnitas tacos with guacamole grace the table.

Special Occasions, Sweets
For his wedding anniversary in October, Drysdale and Susie go to Manresa. Chef David Kinch’s food is "lighter, with more 'unexpected' going on. And the sommelier does the most amazing wine pairings with the food. It's a raw deal that Manresa only has one Michelin star." The two also trek to Powell's Sweet Shoppe in Los Gatos, to buy sweet treats for their sons in a store that "has almost an Eisenhower feel to it.' Miette in the Ferry Building is another go-to for the sweet fixes.

"If I every have another New Year's Eve free, I'd spend it at Bix" where he was the opening chef for the Doug Biederbeck-Real Restaurant Gold Coast spot. He and Susie spent many a memorable night there, and "it's flat out magical, and hard to beat expectations here. Doug Biederbeck really draws it out on New Year's."

Produce and The Big Mac
The Marin Farmers Market is "for my money, the one to beat," said Drysdale. "There's some charm to the Ferry Plaza... a lot of great things go on there." Drysdale packs a bag lunch in his car daily, with "annoyingly healthy" carrots, celery, and apples. "But in that bag, there's always chocolate," he said. "I am a recent devotee and passionate fan of TCHO." Chocolate is a guilty pleasure, and once a year, he and Susie have a ritual Big Mac with extra pickles from McDonald's. Adding pickles "makes sure they are making it right then and there, right." Still, "I may never do it again," and am loathe to admit it is an item he consumes, even once a year.

Chefs & Cookbooks That Inspire
"I am a lifelong, ardent and passionate believer in Alice Waters. Of course I am," said Drysdale, adding, "Who isn't?" He loves the Chez Panisse Café, and the simple pleasure one gets there, that "you can't get anywhere else. A perfect peach, lightly chilled. Some may deter, but I love a perfect peach sometimes. The Chez Panisse Café cookbook is wonderful, and I can't wait for the December-January run of steelhead to do steelhead roe."

Drysdale has been using Jasper White's Cooking from New England cookbook for twenty-five years, and also loves the books and restaurants of Mario Batali. Paula Wolfert is another favorite resource, for her "cool, weird recipes that make me go 'Huh, wow, okay."'

I have a love/hate relationship with eating in Kauai, Maui and Hawaii (the Big Island). I'm leaving Oahu and the smaller islands out of this culinary conundrum as I hear Oahu has a pretty great food scene and I've never been to Molokai, Lanai or the other smaller isles (although I'd love to go). As a mom, I'm always disappointed with the quality of food in family restaurants on the islands. They're full of fried foods and overpriced entrées. I am always left wondering why, in a state full of farms and surrounded by fresh fish, are most of the restaurants so lacking. And then I remember, Hawaiian restaurants are for tourists.

First let's talk about the love: I ADORE all the fresh and ripe tropical fruits that are so hard to come by on the mainland. Pineapple sweetened in the field is a completely different fruit than what you find in your local grocery here. And the papayas! Sweet and fragrant, ripened on the tree as they should be, they are the ultimate tropical treat as far as I'm concerned. Oh wait! I forgot about the apple bananas, which are tied with the papayas on my love list. If you've never had one, they’re worth a trip to Hawaii all by themselves. I am also always impressed with how much better the fish tastes in Hawaii. Restaurants and fish markets on the mainland may officially tell you that their catch of the day was just flown in and is fantastically fresh, but when compared to the local fish you find in Hawaii -- fish that really was caught that day -- you can see, smell and taste the difference. The only problem is going someplace that knows how to prepare that fish. Which leads me to my hate list…

I DETEST the abundance of mediocre restaurants serving overpriced and poorly cooked food. As Hawaii's main industry is tourism, most restaurants seem to cater to a clientele that will come only once or twice, so they focus on island ambiance and big Mai Tai's instead of quality food. As a mom, these places have no appeal, even if they have great views. First of all, the prices are outrageous. $30 for an overcooked fish entrée slathered in butter is bad enough when you’re paying for just you and maybe your partner, but throw in a couple of children and you start eyeing the kids menu, which is usually just the standard fare of chicken fingers, burgers and pasta with butter. Now normally I try to avoid kid menus, but the idea of paying $60 for my kids to pick at their meal brings out the devil on my shoulder -- there he sits, smugly convincing me that French fries served with mac and cheese is a perfectly acceptable and nutritious meal for my growing girls. After all, they can get their vitamins from the pineapple slice in their POG (passion fruit, orange juice, and guava juice cocktail), right? Of course there are a few high-quality restaurants serving fresh seasonal foods, but these are far and few between and a dinner for four can often reach $300.

So last week, when my family and I were in Kauai, I tried to seek out some food love on the Garden Island, Yelping, Chowhounding and asking around to find some alternate food opportunities that would allow me to feed my kids (and myself) a variety of local and fresh food that didn't break the bank. Following is a list of my top picks. After finding an abundance of $39-an-entrée establishments that served food similar to what you'd get at Fisherman’s Wharf, I am hoping to steer you to some better locations for your own island getaway. Unfortunately, those expensive restaurants with overcooked fish covered in macadamia-nut butter often have the best views, so you may find yourself in one or two of them anyway. I admit we spent an evening in a restaurant that was overpriced and barely passable, but only because my daughters wanted to spend their birthday eating Japanese food and the only other sushi restaurant was in a strip mall 20 minutes away. Plus this place made virgin Mai Tais with umbrellas, which really made my daughters smile from ear to ear.

The following list highlights restaurants, markets and one farm that are focused on serving the best fresh local food the Island of Kauai has to offer. If you know of a place not listed, I'd love to hear about it in the comments section.

Koloa Fish Market
5482 Koloa Road, Koloa, HI

The Koloa Fish Market is everything a fresh fish place should be. With a case full of Ahi, Ono and Mahi Mahi, this is an old school market that only sells locally caught fish. I also love that you can purchase their products a few ways.

Raw: When you buy raw fish to cook at home, you will be asked how thick you want the slices, how many people are eating, and how you plan to cook your fish. The fish mongers (is that still a current-day term?) will cut your fish the way you want it. Be sure to get some sides of teriyaki and wasabi cream sauces to go with your fish as they are fantastic.

Poke: There are a variety of pokes available in the refrigerated case (poke is a Hawaiian dish of cubed raw fish, usually Ahi, that has been flavored with various herbs or spices). I tried the Ahi with Sweet Maui Onion, Korean Poke, and Tako Poke (made with octopus). All were great, but the Korean Poke was my favorite as it was slightly spicy yet still mild and perfectly suited for that fresh tuna taste.

Cooked: Each day the market features a couple of cooked fish plates that you can top with their teriyaki, wasabi cream or butter and garlic sauces. You can't go wrong with any of these. The plates are served with cooked rice, macaroni salad (which is pretty good) and a random lettuce salad. And if fish isn't your thing, you can get pork or beef dishes as well.

When you go to the Koloa Fish Market, be sure to avoid the lunch hour if possible as the store is full of hungry locals and the employees try to rush everyone through quickly. They can also get a little testy if you take too long to decide what to order. Also, be sure to grab a bag of cooked edamame and a container of seaweed salad to go with your meal. Both are fresh and cheap.

Hanalei Coffee Roasters / Java Kai
55183-c Kuhio hwy, Hanalei, HI‎

After my various coffee adventures this summer, I was excited to stumble upon a local roaster in Hanalei. The Hanalei Roasting Company does small-batch roasts of locally-grown Kauai coffee (yes, the beans are grown right on the island) and also Kona coffee. Mild and slightly sweet with a rich coffee taste, their beans were really amazing. They also make a variety of lattes and cappuccinos from their home-roasted espresso and have a wide array of teas as well.

The restaurant is also run under the name Java Kai, which is a small breakfast and coffee chain, so if you're in Hanalei, look for the Java Kai sign. This seems to be the go-to breakfast spot for the North shore of Kauai. I can vouch for their banana macadamia nut waffles, which were nutty and fluffy, while their smoothies -- made with apple bananas, fresh papayas, and a hint of ginger -- are sublime. My kids loved the freshly baked bagels and muffins, and the patio was a beautiful and relaxing spot to spend a morning before we hit the beach.

Kauai Coffee
1 Numila Rd, Kalaheo, HI

I am very sad to say I didn't actually go to the island's coffee plantation, but I did try (sort of). My kids and husband weren't all that interested in going -- "Mom, that's boooooorrrrriiiing" was the response I got when I suggested we head over to see it. I also have to admit that once I was sitting in my beach chair, it was almost impossible to get me out of it, especially as I already had locally-grown and roasted coffee sitting in my cupboard from Hanalei Coffee Roasters. That said, I am sorry I missed seeing how coffee is grown and have vowed to get my arse off the beach and to the coffee farm next time I'm there. Also, if you are interested in buying Hawaiian coffee, there's no need to make sure it's fair trade as coffee farms in Hawaii adhere to all US labor laws (it is the United States, after all) and many are unionized, so you can rest assured you're drinking coffee where everyone is getting paid at least minimum wage.

Postcards Café
5-5075 Kuhio Hwy # A, Hanalei, HI‎

Postcards is a very cute organic restaurant in Hanalei. I ate there during our last visit to Kauai, but as we were staying on the south shore this time (and they're located at the north), I wasn't in the area for dinner this visit. When I was there previously, however, their menu was full of locally-raised vegetables and fruits, locally caught fish and Kauai-raised meats. I asked a few locals about it and they all said it was still great. This is also a wonderful place to eat if you are vegetarian or vegan.

Savage Shrimp
Truck on corner of Lawai Road and Poipu Road
Koloa, HI 96756

Sitting on the side of a lonely little road in Poipu Beach is Savage Shrimp. Susan -- the owner, chef and server of this food truck -- offers shrimp three ways. You can go with the Garlic Scampi, the Bahia Scampi (which uses a Brazilian coconut and tomato sauce sauce), or the GrassHoppa Scampi (a spicy concoction). We tried he first two and devoured each and every shrimpy morsel on our very full plates within five minutes flat. Maybe I was really hungry, but at the time I was thinking this may be the best shrimp I've ever had. Served with rice and a salad, the dishes of fresh local shrimp are filling and more than worth the $12.50 price tag.

Monster Tacos
Koloa Rd
Koloa, HI 96756

This food truck is widely admired by many, so I wanted to mention it here. I need to come clean and tell you, however, that I didn't actually get to eat a taco here. When we stopped by for lunch, the very nice lady who cooks for Monster tacos informed us that she only serves her fish with Cajun blackened spices. Although I'm not a big blackened fish fan (and neither are my kids), I wanted to give the tacos a try. I figured I'd quickly order one little taco and then go someplace else to get something for my hungry kids, but after being told it would take 15 - 20 minutes for my one taco, even though only one guy was sitting on a bench ahead of us, we left. That said, people rave about this place, so if you like blackened fish tacos and are on the south shore of Kauai, this is your place.

Sunshine Farmers' Markets
Located in a different town Monday - Saturday of each week

The state of Hawaii runs a series of local farmers' markets on Kauai Monday through Saturday. These are a bit of a scene as they're run almost like tourist attractions where some guy with a bullhorn opens the market at noon to a crowd of people and then let's everyone loose. But don’t be turned off by the management as the fruit and vegetables awaiting you are worth the septuagenarians elbowing each other out at the gate. Full of fresh local fare, you can find exotic fruits that just aren’t available anywhere else at these markets. We purchased some star fruit and dragon fruit, along with fresh and ripe guavas, wing beans, the cherished apple bananas and papayas, along with regular cucumbers, lettuce, spinach and bok choy. As we were staying in a condo, it was fun to bring home our bags and explore the variety of produce available from local Hawaiian farmers.

Lappert's
Various locations throughout Hawaii

What visit to Hawaii would be complete without an enormous scoop of ice cream, and what better place to get it than Lapperts? With frozen yogurt, gelato, sorbet, and ice cream on hand, you can pretty much get whatever frozen treat you’d like -- oh, and they serve coffee too. My favorite flavor was the caramel macadamia nut, although my husband had a few servings of the triple summer berry, which was also mighty nice. Whichever flavor you choose, this is a great way to cool off in that tropical sun.

Dianne Jacob, Kristine Kidd, Amy Sherman

The first panel at the International Food Blogger Conference (IFBC) this past weekend in Seattle dealt with writing a great recipe, paying for content, and taking your work as a food blogger to the next level. Dianne Jacob, author of Will Write for Food, sat alongside writer and recipe developer, Amy Sherman (BAB blogger) and cookbook author and former food editor of Bon Appetit Kristine Kidd. Each speaker brought their own unique experiences in writing and recipe development, kicking off the session by discussing the importance of being generous and giving proper credit when adapting a recipe. Amy Sherman also urged bloggers and writers not to give recipes away for free. It can be flattering for beginning bloggers to be approached by online sites of print publications requesting to use a recipe. But Sherman noted that this only complicates things for folks trying to make a living by writing and developing recipes. While there were great tips on how to approach editors with recipes and how to take recipe development to the next level, the heart of the panel discussion was based around writing a great recipe. Below you'll find some of the highlights:

Elements of a Recipe
Jacob, Sherman and Kidd discussed the four main elements that make up a recipe--each should be carefully considered to engage your reader, and achieve continuity and clarity:

1) Title: Keep your title straightforward, tempting, descriptive and fun. After all, it's the first thing your reader will see.

2) Headnotes: The headnote of a recipe is the information right after the title and before the ingredient list. It's important here to tempt your readers, give them either sensual or helpful information (or both!), perhaps some cultural or historical tidbits regarding the recipe or a personal story. Kidd discussed the importance of the headnote as an invitation for your readers--make them curious about your food. The headnote is the "why" of the recipe: out of all of the gazpacho recipes in the world, why are readers going to want to make yours?

3) Ingredients: The speakers agreed that it's most common to list ingredients in the order in which they're used. They also encouraged writers to remember that readers also use the ingredient list as a shopping list, so make it easy to shop from. An example Kidd provided was calling for "1 medium onion" instead of "2 cups onion"--people don't shop for 2 cups of onion.

4) Directions: Think about how you'd like to present your directions. Often, if there's an editor involved, you won't have a choice. But if it's on your personal food blog or website, make a decision: do you want numbered steps, bullets, or short paragraphs? Readability and clarity are key.

Conference attendees busily taking notes

Recipe Writing Tips
Jacob, Sherman, and Kidd moved on to discuss their own personal tips and advice for crafting an inviting recipe that works:

1) They began by encouraging people to think about their style of recipe writing: are you brief and direct or warm and friendly? Like any kind of good writing, you need to find your voice and make a concerted effort to remain consistent in the way you write your recipes. Chatty is o.k. (although it tends to be longer which Kidd pointed out often discourages readers)--just be chatty consistently.

2) Give more than one indicator: In recipe writing, indicators are descriptions or hints describing when a task is completed. Because all ovens are different, weather conditions vary, and folks have differing levels of cooking experiences, having more than one indicator is critical. An example: "Saute onions for ten minutes or until golden brown" ("ten minutes" and "until golden brown" are your indicators here).

3) Use the word "about" before giving a prescriptive number of minutes. Again, since everyone has different ovens and is working with numerous variables, adding "about" gives the recipe writer a bit of an out--putting some responsibility in the hands of the reader.

4) Give more than one measurement: Giving readers both weight and volume measurements is important, especially with baking Sherman noted. Kidd suggested that with savory cooking like soup, very precise weight measurements are probably not as critical.

5) Think About Your Audience: It's imperative to think about your reader: who are they? How much information do they already know? Of course, these are always mere guesses but you need to decide if it's important to give instructions on sauteing onions. Will this be obvious to them? Where do you draw the line on how much information and instruction to provide?

Recipe Writing Resources
Jacob, Sherman, and Kidd suggested looking at food websites and magazines you like for good models. Sherman encouraged reading international magazines as well to look for new and interesting food trends that haven't quite surfaced here in the States. They also provided a list of the following fabulous recipe writing resources:

Recipe Writers Handbook

The Food Substitution Bible

Food Lovers Companion

Recipes Into Type

Conference Attendees Debriefing: Denise Woodward (Chez Us), Tracy Benjamin (Shutterbean), and Kristina McLean (TNLocavore)

San Francisco's Board of Supervisors is considering imposing a fee on alcoholic beverages, which would go to pay for programs associated with alcohol abuse. But critics say the fee would burden businesses in already tough economic times.

Host: Michael Krasny

Guests:

• John Avalos, member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors
• Rich Higgins, brewmaster at Social Kitchen And Brewery and president of the San Francisco Brewers Guild

Get the latest scoop on the Bay Area dining scene from a panel of restaurant critics.

Host: Michael Krasny

Guests:

• Jan Newberry, food editor for San Francisco Magazine Eat & Drink
• Jonathan Kauffman, food critic for SF Weekly
• Marcia Gagliardi, food critic for tablehopper.com
• Stett Holbrook, food editor for Metro Silicon Valley metroactive: SanJose.com

Related Links:
EaterSF: Top Bay Area Food Writers Reveal Candid Faves on KQED

I started watching The Big C last week. With Laura Linney as the lead and a tagline of "Grab Life by the Balls," how could I not love this show? The gist (without giving anything away) is that the main character finds out she has cancer and begins to lead a much less structured, sensible life. One night she deliberately pours red wine over the expensive sofa she'd previously obsessed over and at dinner one night with her husband, proclaims "I'm only having liquor and desserts." I knew I'd love this show. A woman after my own heart.

So this week--I bring you liquor and desserts in the form of boozy milkshakes. What's not to love about a thick, simple shake spiked with your favorite booze? I actually experimented and made more of these than I care to admit, but I'm sharing my two favorites with you today. One will appeal to all of you simple vanilla folks out there and the other will call to you chocolate, coffee, butterscotch types. The yin and the yang of the 'liquor and desserts' world. It's kind of perfect timing seeing that summer has finally decided do descend in, oh, the end of August. Right when school's back in session and fall clothes appear in shop windows--that's when summer decides to show its face in the Bay Area. But we'll take it. It's all good. And even better with boozy milkshakes.

Laying out the Ingredients for the Whiteout Milkshake

Let's start with what I'll call the Whiteout Milkshake. I have a fondness for really fabulous vanilla ice cream. It's obviously great plain, on top of berry pies or right beside a piece of chocolate birthday cake. Well it turns out, it's also the perfect base for a boozy shake.

Scooping Vanilla Ice Cream

Häagen-Dazs happens to be my favorite vanilla. What's yours? I like that you can actually see the vanilla flecks throughout. I was shocked to discover that yes, indeed, it takes an entire pint of ice cream to make a single shake. But let's not spend too much time contemplating that minor detail--just think of all the calcium!

The Whiteout Milkshake

And here you have it. We mixed up some premium ice cream, a little Kahlua, some Stoli Vanilla Vodka and just a touch of milk and topped it with a generous portion of canned whipped cream. There's something very diner-y and perfect about canned whipped cream that seemed fitting for these shakes.

Laying out the Spiked Malted Coffee Ingredients

Now the next milkshake is essentially the polar opposite. It's edgy and dark. It has very different flavor profiles that somehow compliment each other perfectly. It has bourbon. Enough said.

Scooping and Blending : On Our Way!

Mix in a bit of bourbon, some malted milk powder, coffee ice cream (or feel free to use chocolate if you like) and top with whipped cream and butterscotch sauce. Seriously, kind of magical.

Voila: Spiked Malted Coffee Milkshake

Below you'll find both recipes. The nice thing about going the liquor and desserts route is that you can't really go wrong. If you're a big Bailey's fan, throw some in. Love Irish Cream? Add it. A good rule of thumb is to work slowly, taste as you go, and--like me--you just might find some new summertime favorites.

The Whiteout Milkshake

If you just have plain vodka on hand, that will work just fine. And I add the milk slowly and don't use all that much because I like my shakes rather thick. Feel free to add another splash so the consistency is to your liking.

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups vanilla ice cream (essentially, 1 pint)
1-2 Tbsp. whole milk
1 oz. Stoli Vanilla Vodka
1/2 oz. Kahlua

Method:
Blend together, top with whipped cream, and serve immediately.

Makes: 1 generous shake

Spiked Malted Coffee Milkshake
Ingredients:
1 1/5 cups coffee ice cream
2 Tbsp. malted milk powder (like Ovaltine)
1 oz. bourbon
1-2 Tbsp. milk

Method:
Blend together, top with whipped cream, and serve immediately.

Makes: 1 generous shake.

Mike Zakowski of The Baker

Will 2010 be the year we all learn to love the goat? You could have easily drawn that conclusion during this weekend's Eat Real Festival in Oakland's Jack London Square. Peer over the rapt capacity crowd squeezed thigh to thigh across rings of haybales: it's Dave the Butcher from Avedano's, taking apart a skinned whole goat joint by joint and offering cooking advice on every part from shank to tongue.

Over by the square's historic log cabin, hold out your taco-smelling fingers to be sniffed by the posse of nonchalant urban goats, corralled ankle-deep in hay as they (and their pendulous, hairy udders) wait for the hands-on milking demonstration. Stroll past the pupusa and popsicle stands to the crush around Laloo's, where smiling young women dole out goat's-milk ice cream at $5 a cup. Or take a long, smooth swallow of A Donkey & Goat's Mendocino Syrah, crafted by Berkeley winemakers Tracey and Jared Brandt.

Anywhere else, this much goaty goodness would qualify as a bona fide celebration of all things caprine. But at the massive Eat Real Festival, these goats on the hoof and on the hook were just one gustatory, backyard-livestock trend among many.

Ken Kirkland of Woolly Egg Ranch

Considering adding a few chickens to the tomatoes and zucchini in your garden? Mario Klip of Holland Hen Houses had three elegant chicken chateaux set up near the goats, each filled with a clucking, pecking selection of common and heritage breeds from Marin's Woolly Egg Ranch. Also on display: a egg box packed with dozens of eggs, each from a different type of chicken, shells representing every shade of white, ecru, champagne, toast, seafoam and turquoise.

Curious about bees? Talk to the folks at the SF Beekeepers' Association, buy a jar of city honey, or just get mesmerized by the glass-fronted hive rife with squirming, humming bees.

Or perhaps you just want to put your toaster oven to work as in-house coffee roaster; no problem, here's James Freeman of Blue Bottle to tell you how to do it, as easy as "throwing a weenie on the grill." Gardening, beer-brewing, pickle-making: all the au courant urban homesteading skills were being served up by local experts on this breezy, blue-sky day.

Of course, to many, the seed-saving demos, jam competitions, fermentation workshops and kiddie cooking contests were just icing on a big, fat, curried, hot-sauced, kimchee-piled fusion taco of street-food tastiness. Because, of course, the heart (or belly) of the Eat Real beast is found in the mobile food offerings, dished out for five bucks or less from row after row of booths, carts, and trucks.

Crowds on Saturday

As we discovered last year, the only way to fill your belly (and make a dent in the dozens and dozens of multi-culti offerings) was to run a recon team, supplying those waiting in the extra-lengthy lines with provisions from the less trafficked carts. It was common to see lines stretching 40, 50 folks deep or more, with half the line already holding plates of sliders, buns, or tacos from their previous queue.

There were countless ways to eat something open-faced and taco-ish, or rolled and burrito-ish, from Namu's seaweed-based, daikon-laced Korean tacos to Curry Up Now's chicken tikka masala wraps (made not with naan but rather tortillas from La Palma) and newbie Vesta Flatbread's Mediterranean-inspired, pita-like rounds piled with carrot-hazelnut pâté and beet salad with orange vinaigrette.

Gerard's Paella

But if you searched around a little, you could find shorter lines for things off the beaten track of meat n' dough. Like the delectable, mussel-topped paella scooped from the pond-sized pans of Gerard's Paella, or Radio Africa & Kitchen's succulent saffron-gold shrimp with peppers-and-corn salad.

Chalkboard Menu at Radio Africa & Kitchen

The tag-teams of local farms and local chefs in the Farmstand Cookstand booths produced some of the festival's prettiest and most seasonal dishes, like flaky peach and almond galettes (with Frog Hollow Farm organic fruit) made by Robert Dorsey III, of the Oakland Museum's upcoming Blue Oak cafe, or Nicole Lobue's peach-and-arugula salads, sourced from Abeni Ramsey's City Girl Farms and Novella Carpenter's Ghost Town Farm.

Robert Dorsey III of Blue Oak

The Eat Real Festival continues on Sun., 8/29 from 10:30am-5:30pm in Jack London Square, Oakland.

More than 500-million eggs have been recalled after outbreaks of salmonella nationwide. The head of the FDA says her agency needs more authority to prevent food borne illnesses. Forum discusses the weaknesses in food safety regulation and what should be done.

Host: Michael Krasny

Guests:

• Bill Marler, food safety attorney
• Dan Sumner, professor of agricultural and resource economics at UC Davis
• Lyndsey Layton, staff writer for the Washington Post
• William Hubbard, former associate commissioner for the FDA

Related Links:

• FDA: Recalls, Market Withdrawals, & Safety Alerts
• Civil Eats: Egg Gaps Illustrate Fractured Food Safety System by Helena Bottemiller
• The Atlantic: The Egg Industry's Full-Page Ad, Translated by Marion Nestle
• NYTimes: Heart of Iowa as Fault Line of Egg Recall by Monica Davey
• HuffPost: Tainted Meat/Rotten Eggs: What Does It Really Take to Make Food Safe? by Alison Rose Levy
• NPR: Salmonella Found In Chicken Feed At 2 Iowa Farms
• NPR: Tainted Eggs Renew Calls For Food Safety Overhaul by April Fulton
• NPR: How To Stay Safe During The Egg Recalls by Whitney Blair Wyckoff

Grist:

• After a half billion bad eggs get released, the FDA reveals filthy conditions of Wright County Egg by Tom Philpott

So there I was in Neiman Marcus on a Saturday afternoon looking for a bridesmaid's dress.

My friend Shannon, who hates shopping, thought it would be a grand idea to ask along the one gay man in her universe that loathes the activity even more than she. I warned her that she was sorely testing the strength of our friendship, but I obliged because, after 35 years of trying, I find that resistance is futile. I nearly always bend to her will.

Fortunately, she's a pro at rewarding good behavior, so she dangled two carrots in front of me: 1) She told me that our friend Susan was coming and 2) I was promised a cocktail. The prospect of sitting down for a drink with both Shannon and Susan seemed worth the pain of having to stand around for hours pretending to be interested in jewel-toned gowns.

Fortunately, the hours of shopping were whittled down to about 30 minutes, thanks to Susan's laser vision and Shannon's desire to get the errand over with; the whole exercise was mercifully painless.

As the girls busied themselves with the seamstress in the dressing room, I occupied my time by snapping photos of particularly ugly evening dresses and then collapsed into an empty seat, giving my weariest look to the gentleman who occupied the next chair.

"She promised me a drink for putting me through this," I said, half pretending I was a much put-upon husband.

"Just the one?" the man replied, "I think you're selling yourself short." I smiled and thought to myself how easy I had it compared to him. His wife had tried on at least four dresses since I'd been there and he had dutifully complimented her in each. I felt as though I should be buying him a drink.

With the shopping done, Susan, Shannon, and made our way to the nearest bar, which was conveniently located on the very same floor as the evening gowns.

We settled into our banquette at The Rotunda, ordered our respective drinks and got down to the business of catching up on each others' lives. I'd had a difficult week of working and general soul-searching, but when I listened to the goings on of my friends, I suddenly felt as if I'd spent the past several days at a holiday camp eating ice cream by comparison. Both were sucked into things they were more or less powerless to control, but their conversation was buoyed by so much good humor that we found ourselves able to relax and truly enjoy our surroundings and, naturally each other.

As we waited for our much-needed drinks to arrive, a server stopped by to present us each with a warm popover and a little ramekin of strawberry butter-- a fine Neiman Marcus tradition which is perhaps my favorite, since it has absolutely nothing to do with shopping. We three regarded each popover, noting which was the most attractive, which looked like horribly deformed genitalia. The drinks arrived and Shannon commented on how generous their pours were. Susan added that there was nothing especially generous about it; that the idea was to get people as buzzed as possible before sending them back out into the store-- kind of like Las Vegas casinos but without crap tables, just tables full of crap.

We sipped our cocktails, exhaled contented sighs-- for the pleasant dulling effect of the alcohol and ending of an unpleasant week-- and reached for our rolls that had cooled on our bread plates.

"Mmmm... popovers," Shannon moaned. She was referencing an old Warner Bros cartoon, but the sound she made was more Homer Simpson that Mel Blanc. All of us remembered the line, but none of us could recall from which particular cartoon it came nor who said it. It bothered me throughout the meal that followed, but not much. I was much too contented spending a precious, stress-free hour with my friends in the rarified air of a restaurant perched atop a department store I could never afford to shop in to really care. But I'll admit that, as I slowly sipped at my drink as we talked and tore at my bready free gift-with-purchase, I kept repeating to myself all the while, "Mmmm... popovers."

Porky Popovers and Blueberry Butter *

The cartoon in question is entitled Bye Bye Bluebeard, a wonderfully morbid little Porky Pig featurette from 1949 that includes such wonders as a ravenous mouse, a serial killer Russian Wolfhound (Bluebeard), and a guillotine. Most importantly, however, popovers-- or little bombs that look nothing like popovers yet are oddly mistaken as such-- save the day.

I should state clearly that these are not Neiman Marcus popovers. Since it was a Porky Pig cartoon that lead me to this post, I've decided to make them, well, porky-- butter has been replaced by bacon grease and the addition of chopped bacon to the tops not only gives a bit of added oomph but, like a Western Diamondback's rattle, serves to warn away unsuspecting vegetarian grazers. If I need to explain why I've made blueberry butter instead of strawberry, I might suggest you stop and think about it a little longer. And then go make yourselves some popovers.

Makes six pork-studded popovers and enough blueberry butter with which to lash them

Ingredients:

For the Popovers:

1 1/2 cups whole milk

1 1/2 tablespoons melted bacon grease

1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour, sifted

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 eggs, lightly beaten

2 slices of bacon, cooked, drained, and finely chopped

For the Blueberry Butter:

6 tablespoons softened butter, either salted or unsalted

1 tablespoon blueberry jam

Preparation:

1. Pre-heat oven to 450ºF.

2. Grease your popover tin (it may be worth it to buy one simply to be able to say you own one) with either bacon grease, butter, cooking spray, or other fat of choice.

3. Combine the softened butter with the blueberry jam until uniform in color. Transfer to a ramekin and refrigerate.

4. Beat together milk, bacon grease, flour, and salt until smooth. Then add the eggs, approximately one at a time (since they're already slightly beaten , this might not be entirely obvious to some-- just take it slow. And do not over beat).

5. Fill the popover cups 3/4 full, sprinkle the surface of each with chopped bacon, and bake immediately.

6. After 15 minutes of baking, lower heat to 350ºF and bake for another 20 minutes. If you are especially worried that your popovers will collapse when cool, you may not want to make popovers, because that's pretty much what popovers do. However, if you'd like to avoid this, I might suggest that you gently insert the tip of a sharp knife into each popover to allow steam to escape, then turn off the oven and let your little puffy friends dry out for another few minutes until you have summoned up the courage to remove them. Personally, I wouldn't bother because I love a dramatic collapse.

7. Eat them warm and slathered with the blueberry butter you've had the good sense to remove from your refrigerator. Consume with delightful friends over tea or hard liquor, depending upon the sort of day you've had.

* By the way, this will be my last regular posting for KQED's Bay Area Bites. I've enjoyed posting here every Friday but, after nearly four years, it's time for me to move on. I will, however, um, pop over here from time to time, just to keep my hand in. In the mean time, you can always find me at my own site: Food for the Thoughtless.

Cheers, and thank you very much for reading,

Michael Procopio