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In his free time, he sings his heart out at karaoke.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6302b6f7ef8b2dcd3acd9e2c6bc570b7?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"xcusemybeauty","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"arts","roles":["Contributor","subscriber"]},{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Emmanuel Hapsis | KQED","description":"KQED Contributor","ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6302b6f7ef8b2dcd3acd9e2c6bc570b7?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/6302b6f7ef8b2dcd3acd9e2c6bc570b7?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/ehapsis"},"lizzyacker":{"type":"authors","id":"2130","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"2130","found":true},"name":"Lizzy Acker","firstName":"Lizzy","lastName":"Acker","slug":"lizzyacker","email":"lacker@kqed.org","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":[],"title":null,"bio":"Lizzy Acker’s work has been published in Nano Fiction, Fanzine, Joyland, Eleven Eleven and elsewhere. She has read with Bang Out, RADAR, Quiet Lightening and others. Her first book, Monster Party, was released in December of 2010 by Small Desk Press.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/659fd561ef42f446dfa609a7be2e5383?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"lizzzyacker","facebook":"lizzy.acker","instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Lizzy Acker | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/659fd561ef42f446dfa609a7be2e5383?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/659fd561ef42f446dfa609a7be2e5383?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/lizzyacker"},"lauraschadler":{"type":"authors","id":"2415","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"2415","found":true},"name":"Laura Schadler","firstName":"Laura","lastName":"Schadler","slug":"lauraschadler","email":"lauraschadler@gmail.com","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":[],"title":null,"bio":"Laura Schadler grew up in the mountains of Virginia. She studied filmmaking at Bard College, and writing at California College of the Arts. Her fiction has appeared in The Southern Review, Denver Quarterly, Gettysburg Review, Fourteen Hills, and West Branch Wired, among others. She teaches writing and is currently working on a novel.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/54b3e2bf5ef54f0355e347c12eb0a368?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"lauraschadler","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Laura Schadler | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/54b3e2bf5ef54f0355e347c12eb0a368?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/54b3e2bf5ef54f0355e347c12eb0a368?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/lauraschadler"},"kqedpop":{"type":"authors","id":"2421","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"2421","found":true},"name":"KQED Pop","firstName":null,"lastName":null,"slug":"kqedpop","email":"pop@kqed.org","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":[],"title":null,"bio":"KQED Pop is a daily blog edited by Emmanuel Hapsis that critically examines the social and cultural impact of music, movies, television, advertisements, fashion, the internet and all the other collective experiences that make us laugh, cringe and cry. We focus on local, national and international experiences with a Bay Area lens. We don’t do reviews.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/8ebc28ae67b943d4a4279cb0f9222792?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"KQEDpop","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"arts","roles":["contributor"]},{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"KQED Pop | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/8ebc28ae67b943d4a4279cb0f9222792?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/8ebc28ae67b943d4a4279cb0f9222792?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/kqedpop"},"tonybravo":{"type":"authors","id":"2436","meta":{"index":"authors_1591205172","id":"2436","found":true},"name":"Tony Bravo","firstName":"Tony","lastName":"Bravo","slug":"tonybravo","email":"mrtonybravo@gmail.com","display_author_email":false,"staff_mastheads":[],"title":null,"bio":"Tony Bravo is a San Francisco freelancer covering fashion, menswear, lifestyle and entertainment stories. He is a regular contributor to The Bold Italic and the San Francisco Chronicle's Style section.","avatar":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/dbf4e1ca0ae547c324ab218b5b01c466?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twitter":"velvetgoldminer","facebook":null,"instagram":null,"linkedin":null,"sites":[{"site":"pop","roles":["contributor"]}],"headData":{"title":"Tony Bravo | KQED","description":null,"ogImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/dbf4e1ca0ae547c324ab218b5b01c466?s=600&d=blank&r=g","twImgSrc":"https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/dbf4e1ca0ae547c324ab218b5b01c466?s=600&d=blank&r=g"},"isLoading":false,"link":"/author/tonybravo"}},"breakingNewsReducer":{},"campaignFinanceReducer":{},"firebase":{"requesting":{},"requested":{},"timestamps":{},"data":{},"ordered":{},"auth":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"authError":null,"profile":{"isLoaded":false,"isEmpty":true},"listeners":{"byId":{},"allIds":[]},"isInitializing":false,"errors":[]},"navBarReducer":{"navBarId":"arts","fullView":true,"showPlayer":false},"navMenuReducer":{"menus":[{"key":"menu1","items":[{"name":"News","link":"/","type":"title"},{"name":"Politics","link":"/politics"},{"name":"Science","link":"/science"},{"name":"Education","link":"/educationnews"},{"name":"Housing","link":"/housing"},{"name":"Immigration","link":"/immigration"},{"name":"Criminal Justice","link":"/criminaljustice"},{"name":"Silicon Valley","link":"/siliconvalley"},{"name":"Forum","link":"/forum"},{"name":"The California Report","link":"/californiareport"}]},{"key":"menu2","items":[{"name":"Arts & Culture","link":"/arts","type":"title"},{"name":"Critics’ Picks","link":"/thedolist"},{"name":"Cultural Commentary","link":"/artscommentary"},{"name":"Food & Drink","link":"/food"},{"name":"Bay Area Hip-Hop","link":"/bayareahiphop"},{"name":"Rebel Girls","link":"/rebelgirls"},{"name":"Arts Video","link":"/artsvideos"}]},{"key":"menu3","items":[{"name":"Podcasts","link":"/podcasts","type":"title"},{"name":"Bay Curious","link":"/podcasts/baycurious"},{"name":"Rightnowish","link":"/podcasts/rightnowish"},{"name":"The Bay","link":"/podcasts/thebay"},{"name":"On Our Watch","link":"/podcasts/onourwatch"},{"name":"Mindshift","link":"/podcasts/mindshift"},{"name":"Consider This","link":"/podcasts/considerthis"},{"name":"Political Breakdown","link":"/podcasts/politicalbreakdown"}]},{"key":"menu4","items":[{"name":"Live Radio","link":"/radio","type":"title"},{"name":"TV","link":"/tv","type":"title"},{"name":"Events","link":"/events","type":"title"},{"name":"For Educators","link":"/education","type":"title"},{"name":"Support KQED","link":"/support","type":"title"},{"name":"About","link":"/about","type":"title"},{"name":"Help Center","link":"https://kqed-helpcenter.kqed.org/s","type":"title"}]}]},"pagesReducer":{},"postsReducer":{"stream_live":{"type":"live","id":"stream_live","audioUrl":"https://streams.kqed.org/kqedradio","title":"Live Stream","excerpt":"Live Stream information currently unavailable.","link":"/radio","featImg":"","label":{"name":"KQED Live","link":"/"}},"stream_kqedNewscast":{"type":"posts","id":"stream_kqedNewscast","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/anon/radio/RDnews/newscast.mp3?_=1","title":"KQED Newscast","featImg":"","label":{"name":"88.5 FM","link":"/"}},"pop_109395":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_109395","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"109395","score":null,"sort":[1550149534000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2","title":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles Guide to Valentine's Day","publishDate":1550149534,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>So you don't have a boo. No biggie. Sure, it's fun to hold hands and have someone buy you an eclair for no reason and all that jazz. Loving someone else is super. But there's another form of love that predates loving someone else: the love you have for yourself a.k.a. The Greatest Love of All!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This Valentine's Day, let's not be so terribly obvious and transform into Bridget Jones. There's really no reason you need to cry while eating chocolate and singing Celine Dion ballads in your underwear. You're cute and fun, and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas of ways to spend your Valentine's Day:\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>1. TREAT YO' SELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ug3vCqbd1rungpko1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You work hard and you deserve nice things. Forget about waiting around for someone to buy you something you've always wanted and treat yo' self! Some good ideas: sweaters, fragrances, massages, mimosas. You get the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>2. CALL ALL THE SINGLE LADIES (all the single ladies)\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcoez1NsMW1rdhbryo1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes it might seem like you're the only person not living in Boo Land (favorite activities for residents include forgetting about their friends and saying annoying things like \"you'll have this someday, too!\"). But there are plenty of friends who are flying solo just like you. So call your favorite friends from this group and be each other's Valentines. Make a three-course meal for each other. Or hit up a karaoke joint and sing love songs to each other. \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/01/25/karaoke-survival-guide-10-commandments/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Just make sure to follow the rules.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>3. GO SMELL A ROSE OR SOMETHING\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109399\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/beyonce-smell-rose.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"317\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are always 101 things to do at any given moment in this town, so surely there is something for you out there (our very own \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/program/the-do-list\">The Do List\u003c/a>\u003c/em> can help you find something). Some evergreen ideas:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Go see a movie that passes \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test\">the Bechdel test\u003c/a>!\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go smell a flower at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.sfbg.org/\">SF Botanical Garden\u003c/a> or the \u003ca href=\"https://conservatoryofflowers.org/\">Conservatory of Flowers\u003c/a>!\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go find inspiration at the \u003ca href=\"https://deyoung.famsf.org/\">DeYoung\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.sfmoma.org/\">SFMOMA\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.ybca.org/\">YBCA\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://legionofhonor.famsf.org/\">Legion of Honor\u003c/a> or a cute little art gallery!\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go make eyes at cute penguins and an albino alligator at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.calacademy.org/\">California Academy of Sciences\u003c/a>!\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Or just hang out in front of the Painted Ladies while singing the \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em> theme song to yourself. (Yes, I have done this, and no, I do not care that people thought I was weird.)\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>4. HOLLYWOOD CRUSH MARATHON\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_1197\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 333px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/6331185462_244649c8d2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1197\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-1197 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/02/6331185462_244649c8d2.jpg\" alt=\"Flickr | poldberg\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.flickr.com/photos/poldberg/6331185462/\">poldberg\u003c/a>, via Flickr\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>If you don't feel like going out, why not watch a marathon starring your number one crush?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like boys, I suggest this Ryan Gosling triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Drive\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Lars and the Real Girl\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Half Nelson\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cdel>\u003cem>Blue Valentine\u003c/em>\u003c/del> (tonight is not the night for this)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>\u003cdel>The Notebook\u003c/del> \u003c/em>(or this)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like girls, I suggest this Winona Ryder triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Beetlejuice\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Heathers\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Reality Bites\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>5. OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11077\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/kitten_headstand/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11077\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11077\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: That Cute Site\" width=\"600\" height=\"397\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand-400x264.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.thatcutesite.com/kitten-doing-morning-exercises.html\">That Cute Site\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Our society tends to stigmatize spending time by yourself. Loners are weird and wear trench coats and talk to themselves, right? Wrong. The ability to be alone without feeling lonely is something we should all strive for and the surest way to get there is by practicing yoga. Tune into your body, breathe and relax a little. If this really doesn't sound like fun, find comfort in the 96.7% probability that your bendy teacher will be a babe.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>6. SAN FRANCISCO IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/2012/07/san-francisco-i-love-you/\">\u003cimg class=\" \" src=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sfiloveyou_lowres1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"408\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/\">Lisa Congdon\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Significant others come and go and often take your favorite records with them. But San Francisco is always there for you. Spend some time in a place in the city you love or maybe have never gotten around to visiting. And take a bottle of red, while you're at it (that's not weird, it's \u003cem>classy)\u003c/em>. I suggest biking to the Sutro Baths or climbing Bernal or losing yourself in \u003ca href=\"http://mntsutro.com/\">the little-known cloud forest on Mount Sutro\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>7. AWAKEN YOUR INNER CHILD\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11074\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 402px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/attachment/163920399/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11074\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-11074 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/163920399-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Getty\" width=\"402\" height=\"402\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Getty\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>No one appreciates it when you bottle up your emotions and eventually turn into an insufferable jerk for no reason, so take out some of that aggression in a healthy way by attending the \u003ca href=\"http://sf.funcheap.com/pillow-fight-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">annual V-Day Pillow Fight\u003c/a>! It'll be like slumber parties from your past, only you can stay up as late as you want and you probably won't pee the bed this time.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>8. EXPRESS YOURSELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109396\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/to-me-you-are-perfect-kiera-love-actually.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"213\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, Valentine's Day is a commercial invention, but it does serve as a reminder to tell those important to us that we appreciate and love them. Just 'cause you don't have arm candy this year doesn't mean you shouldn't send cute notes to friends, family members and that cutie who serves you tea every morning. Everyone loves mail so you can't go wrong. Try making a habit of expressing your adoration for the people that matter not just on Valentine's Day, but year round. Kumbaya.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"So you don't have a boo. No biggie. Here are a few ideas on how to celebrate the greatest love of all, the one with yourself!","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1550166285,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":18,"wordCount":828},"headData":{"title":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles Guide to Valentine's Day | KQED","description":"So you don't have a boo. No biggie. Here are a few ideas on how to celebrate the greatest love of all, the one with yourself!","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"109395 https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/?p=109395","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2019/02/14/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2/","disqusTitle":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles Guide to Valentine's Day","path":"/pop/109395/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>So you don't have a boo. No biggie. Sure, it's fun to hold hands and have someone buy you an eclair for no reason and all that jazz. Loving someone else is super. But there's another form of love that predates loving someone else: the love you have for yourself a.k.a. The Greatest Love of All!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This Valentine's Day, let's not be so terribly obvious and transform into Bridget Jones. There's really no reason you need to cry while eating chocolate and singing Celine Dion ballads in your underwear. You're cute and fun, and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas of ways to spend your Valentine's Day:\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>1. TREAT YO' SELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ug3vCqbd1rungpko1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You work hard and you deserve nice things. Forget about waiting around for someone to buy you something you've always wanted and treat yo' self! Some good ideas: sweaters, fragrances, massages, mimosas. You get the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>2. CALL ALL THE SINGLE LADIES (all the single ladies)\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcoez1NsMW1rdhbryo1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes it might seem like you're the only person not living in Boo Land (favorite activities for residents include forgetting about their friends and saying annoying things like \"you'll have this someday, too!\"). But there are plenty of friends who are flying solo just like you. So call your favorite friends from this group and be each other's Valentines. Make a three-course meal for each other. Or hit up a karaoke joint and sing love songs to each other. \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/01/25/karaoke-survival-guide-10-commandments/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Just make sure to follow the rules.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>3. GO SMELL A ROSE OR SOMETHING\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109399\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/beyonce-smell-rose.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"317\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are always 101 things to do at any given moment in this town, so surely there is something for you out there (our very own \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/arts/program/the-do-list\">The Do List\u003c/a>\u003c/em> can help you find something). Some evergreen ideas:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>Go see a movie that passes \u003ca href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test\">the Bechdel test\u003c/a>!\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go smell a flower at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.sfbg.org/\">SF Botanical Garden\u003c/a> or the \u003ca href=\"https://conservatoryofflowers.org/\">Conservatory of Flowers\u003c/a>!\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go find inspiration at the \u003ca href=\"https://deyoung.famsf.org/\">DeYoung\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.sfmoma.org/\">SFMOMA\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://www.ybca.org/\">YBCA\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://legionofhonor.famsf.org/\">Legion of Honor\u003c/a> or a cute little art gallery!\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Go make eyes at cute penguins and an albino alligator at the \u003ca href=\"https://www.calacademy.org/\">California Academy of Sciences\u003c/a>!\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>Or just hang out in front of the Painted Ladies while singing the \u003cem>Full House\u003c/em> theme song to yourself. (Yes, I have done this, and no, I do not care that people thought I was weird.)\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>4. HOLLYWOOD CRUSH MARATHON\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_1197\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 333px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/6331185462_244649c8d2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1197\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-1197 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/02/6331185462_244649c8d2.jpg\" alt=\"Flickr | poldberg\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.flickr.com/photos/poldberg/6331185462/\">poldberg\u003c/a>, via Flickr\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>If you don't feel like going out, why not watch a marathon starring your number one crush?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like boys, I suggest this Ryan Gosling triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Drive\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Lars and the Real Girl\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Half Nelson\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cdel>\u003cem>Blue Valentine\u003c/em>\u003c/del> (tonight is not the night for this)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>\u003cdel>The Notebook\u003c/del> \u003c/em>(or this)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like girls, I suggest this Winona Ryder triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Beetlejuice\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Heathers\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Reality Bites\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>5. OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11077\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/kitten_headstand/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11077\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11077\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: That Cute Site\" width=\"600\" height=\"397\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand-400x264.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.thatcutesite.com/kitten-doing-morning-exercises.html\">That Cute Site\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Our society tends to stigmatize spending time by yourself. Loners are weird and wear trench coats and talk to themselves, right? Wrong. The ability to be alone without feeling lonely is something we should all strive for and the surest way to get there is by practicing yoga. Tune into your body, breathe and relax a little. If this really doesn't sound like fun, find comfort in the 96.7% probability that your bendy teacher will be a babe.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>6. SAN FRANCISCO IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/2012/07/san-francisco-i-love-you/\">\u003cimg class=\" \" src=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sfiloveyou_lowres1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"408\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/\">Lisa Congdon\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Significant others come and go and often take your favorite records with them. But San Francisco is always there for you. Spend some time in a place in the city you love or maybe have never gotten around to visiting. And take a bottle of red, while you're at it (that's not weird, it's \u003cem>classy)\u003c/em>. I suggest biking to the Sutro Baths or climbing Bernal or losing yourself in \u003ca href=\"http://mntsutro.com/\">the little-known cloud forest on Mount Sutro\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>7. AWAKEN YOUR INNER CHILD\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11074\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 402px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/attachment/163920399/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11074\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-11074 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/163920399-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Getty\" width=\"402\" height=\"402\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Getty\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>No one appreciates it when you bottle up your emotions and eventually turn into an insufferable jerk for no reason, so take out some of that aggression in a healthy way by attending the \u003ca href=\"http://sf.funcheap.com/pillow-fight-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">annual V-Day Pillow Fight\u003c/a>! It'll be like slumber parties from your past, only you can stay up as late as you want and you probably won't pee the bed this time.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3 style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cstrong>8. EXPRESS YOURSELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-109396\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2019/02/to-me-you-are-perfect-kiera-love-actually.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"213\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, Valentine's Day is a commercial invention, but it does serve as a reminder to tell those important to us that we appreciate and love them. Just 'cause you don't have arm candy this year doesn't mean you shouldn't send cute notes to friends, family members and that cutie who serves you tea every morning. Everyone loves mail so you can't go wrong. Try making a habit of expressing your adoration for the people that matter not just on Valentine's Day, but year round. Kumbaya.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/109395/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2","authors":["27"],"categories":["pop_155"],"tags":["pop_3426","pop_3341","pop_157","pop_158","pop_3431"],"featImg":"pop_109424","label":"pop"},"pop_27576":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_27576","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"27576","score":null,"sort":[1466678772000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"celebrity-couples-you-never-knew-were-a-thing","title":"Celebrity Couples You Never Knew Were a Thing","publishDate":1466678772,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>This week, we're talking about self-care post Orlando, surprising celebs who used to date, and a married woman who hid her secret lover in her attic for a decade!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[audio src=\"https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/www.kqed.org/.stream/mp3splice/radio/thecooler/2016/06/CelebCouples.mp3\" title=\"Celebrity Couples You Never Knew Were a Thing\" program=\"The Cooler\" image=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/clo.jpg\"]\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003cdiv>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/DownloadOniTunes_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig3hk6qa4fzcgjp2kagptfgu4u4?t=The_Cooler\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/Google_Play_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/div>\n\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>We start things off by reflecting on the Orlando tragedy:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/13/why-the-orlando-shooting-isnt-as-surprising-as-it-should-be/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And exploring how and why pop culture helps us heal during hard times:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/21/just-keep-swimming-quotes-songs-and-other-pop-culture-bits-that-help-during-hard-times/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then we follow the \"Just keep swimming\" advice from \u003cem>Finding Nemo\u003c/em> and keep it rolling with a quiz on celebrity couples never knew were a thing. Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan aren't mentioned in the episode, but they should have been:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/Screen-Shot-2016-06-23-at-3.37.21-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27608\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/Screen-Shot-2016-06-23-at-3.37.21-AM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-06-23 at 3.37.21 AM\" width=\"466\" height=\"277\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/Screen-Shot-2016-06-23-at-3.37.21-AM.png 466w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/Screen-Shot-2016-06-23-at-3.37.21-AM-400x238.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 466px) 100vw, 466px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our Obligatory News Story of the Week is about a married woman named Walburga, who kept a secret lover in her attic for a decade:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/29/meet-walburga-the-married-woman-who-hid-a-secret-lover-in-her-attic-for-a-decade/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/GIF_power_rangers_rita_repulsa.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27580\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/GIF_power_rangers_rita_repulsa.gif\" alt=\"rita power rangers gif\" width=\"550\" height=\"382\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And we cap things off with \"Alaska,\" a song that made Pharrell cry, by NYU student Maggie Rogers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Frevsouent%2Fvideos%2F622943241203894%2F&show_text=0&width=400\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" style=\"border:none;overflow:hidden\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you haven't already, please take our cute, little survey and let us know what you think of the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/21/dear-listeners-of-the-cooler-please-take-our-cute-little-survey/\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"This week, we’re talking about self-care post Orlando, surprising celeb pairings and a married woman who hid her secret lover in her attic for a decade!\r\n","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1491612934,"stats":{"hasAudio":true,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":14,"wordCount":313},"headData":{"title":"Celebrity Couples You Never Knew Were a Thing | KQED","description":"This week, we’re talking about self-care post Orlando, surprising celeb pairings and a married woman who hid her secret lover in her attic for a decade!\r\n","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"27576 http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/?p=27576","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/23/celebrity-couples-you-never-knew-were-a-thing/","disqusTitle":"Celebrity Couples You Never Knew Were a Thing","path":"/pop/27576/celebrity-couples-you-never-knew-were-a-thing","audioUrl":"https://www.kqed.org/.stream/mp3splice/radio/thecooler/2016/06/CelebCouples.mp3","audioDuration":2280000,"audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>This week, we're talking about self-care post Orlando, surprising celebs who used to date, and a married woman who hid her secret lover in her attic for a decade!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"audio","attributes":{"named":{"program":"The Cooler","image":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/clo.jpg","label":"src=\"https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/www.kqed.org/.stream/mp3splice/radio/thecooler/2016/06/CelebCouples.mp3\" title=\"Celebrity Couples You Never Knew Were a Thing\""},"numeric":["src=\"https://dts.podtrac.com/redirect.mp3/www.kqed.org/.stream/mp3splice/radio/thecooler/2016/06/CelebCouples.mp3\" title=\"Celebrity","Couples","You","Never","Knew","Were","a","Thing\""]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003caside class=\"aligncenter\">\n\u003cdiv>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/DownloadOniTunes_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a> \u003ca href=\"https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig3hk6qa4fzcgjp2kagptfgu4u4?t=The_Cooler\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cimg class=\"alignnone\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2016/11/Google_Play_100x100.png\" width=\"75px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/div>\n\u003c/aside>\n\u003cp>We start things off by reflecting on the Orlando tragedy:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"kqedEmbed","attributes":{"named":{"url":"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/13/why-the-orlando-shooting-isnt-as-surprising-as-it-should-be/"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>And exploring how and why pop culture helps us heal during hard times:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"kqedEmbed","attributes":{"named":{"url":"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/21/just-keep-swimming-quotes-songs-and-other-pop-culture-bits-that-help-during-hard-times/"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Then we follow the \"Just keep swimming\" advice from \u003cem>Finding Nemo\u003c/em> and keep it rolling with a quiz on celebrity couples never knew were a thing. Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan aren't mentioned in the episode, but they should have been:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/Screen-Shot-2016-06-23-at-3.37.21-AM.png\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27608\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/Screen-Shot-2016-06-23-at-3.37.21-AM.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-06-23 at 3.37.21 AM\" width=\"466\" height=\"277\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/Screen-Shot-2016-06-23-at-3.37.21-AM.png 466w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/Screen-Shot-2016-06-23-at-3.37.21-AM-400x238.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 466px) 100vw, 466px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our Obligatory News Story of the Week is about a married woman named Walburga, who kept a secret lover in her attic for a decade:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"kqedEmbed","attributes":{"named":{"url":"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/29/meet-walburga-the-married-woman-who-hid-a-secret-lover-in-her-attic-for-a-decade/"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/GIF_power_rangers_rita_repulsa.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27580\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/GIF_power_rangers_rita_repulsa.gif\" alt=\"rita power rangers gif\" width=\"550\" height=\"382\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And we cap things off with \"Alaska,\" a song that made Pharrell cry, by NYU student Maggie Rogers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c!-- iframe plugin v.4.3 wordpress.org/plugins/iframe/ -->\u003cbr>\n\u003ciframe src=\"https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Frevsouent%2Fvideos%2F622943241203894%2F&show_text=0&width=400\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" style=\"border:none;overflow:hidden\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" allowtransparency=\"true\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" class=\"iframe-class\">\u003c/iframe>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you haven't already, please take our cute, little survey and let us know what you think of the show!\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"kqedEmbed","attributes":{"named":{"url":"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/06/21/dear-listeners-of-the-cooler-please-take-our-cute-little-survey/"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>Until next week!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1041117499\" target=\"_blank\">Subscribe and rate us in iTunes\u003c/a>! And find us on \u003ca href=\"https://www.facebook.com/KQED-Pop-336039936485067/timeline/\" target=\"_blank\">Facebook\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/kqedpop\" target=\"_blank\">Twitter\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/27576/celebrity-couples-you-never-knew-were-a-thing","authors":["27"],"categories":["pop_2793"],"tags":["pop_276","pop_158"],"featImg":"pop_27596","label":"pop"},"pop_20456":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_20456","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"20456","score":null,"sort":[1455303361000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2016","title":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles Guide to Valentine's Day 2016","publishDate":1455303361,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem> (Note: This post made its debut \u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/\">three years ago today\u003c/a>! This is an updated version with brand new events so you don't end up showing up to that Icona Pop concert expecting an encore 1,095 days later.)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So you don't have a boo. No biggie. Sure, it's fun to hold hands and have someone buy you an eclair for no reason and all that jazz. Loving someone else is super. But there's another form of love that predates loving someone else: the love you have for yourself a.k.a. The Greatest Love of All! So this Valentine's Day, let's not be so terribly obvious and transform into Bridget Jones. There's really no reason you need to cry while eating chocolate and singing Celine Dion ballads in your underwear. You're cute and fun and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas of ways to spend your Valentine's Day:\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>1. TREAT YO' SELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ug3vCqbd1rungpko1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You work hard and you deserve nice things. Forget about waiting around for someone to buy you something you've always wanted and treat yo' self! Some good ideas: sweaters, fragrances, massages, mimosas. You get the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>2. CALL ALL THE SINGLE LADIES (all the single ladies)\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcoez1NsMW1rdhbryo1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes it might seem like you're the only person not living in Boo Land (favorite activities for residents include forgetting about their friends and saying annoying things like \"you'll have this someday, too!\"). But there are plenty of friends who are flying solo just like you. So call your favorite friends from this group and be each other's Valentines. Make a three course meal for each other. Or hit up a karaoke joint and sing love songs to each other. \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/01/25/karaoke-survival-guide-10-commandments/\" target=\"_blank\">Just make sure to follow the rules.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>3. GO TO AN EVENT, EXHIBIT, OR SHOW\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrZHPOeOxQQ\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There are always 101 things to do at any given moment in this town so surely there is something for you out there. Here are some friendly suggestions:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Event:\u003c/span> If you have something to get off your chest, why not belt it out with a bunch of nostalgic randos? The Roxie Theater is hosting an \u003ca href=\"http://www.roxie.com/ai1ec_event/sf-indie-fest-power-ballad-sing-long/\" target=\"_blank\">'80s Power Ballad Sing-a-long\u003c/a> featured Journey, Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, and all those other bands your older sister teased her bangs to back in the day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Exhibit\u003c/span>: \u003ca href=\"http://www.sfbotanicalgarden.org/garden/magnificent-magnolias-20141.html\">\u003cem>Magnificent Magnolias\u003c/em>\u003c/a> at the SF Botanical Gardens. They're blooming just in time for your hot date with yourself! If that isn't cute enough for you, head on over to the Academy of Sciences to \u003ca href=\"http://www.calacademy.org/events/special-events/penguin-valentines\" target=\"_blank\">watch biologists give Valentines\u003c/a> to African penguins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Concert:\u003c/span> Spend the holiday showing love for early aughts power couple \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/03/ja-rule-and-ashanti-want-to-be-your-valentine-also-relevant-again/\" target=\"_blank\">Ashanti and Ja Rule\u003c/a> at 1015 Folsom. Or, if that's not your thing, local music makers are paying homage to dearly departed \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/david-bowie/\" target=\"_blank\">David Bowie\u003c/a> (miss you, boo!) at \u003ca href=\"http://www.rickshawstop.com/event/1068797-lets-dance-david-bowie-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\">Let's Dance: A David Bowie Tribute Party\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch1 class=\"headliners summary\">\u003c/h1>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>4. HOLLYWOOD CRUSH MARATHON\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_1197\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 333px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/6331185462_244649c8d2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1197\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-1197 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/02/6331185462_244649c8d2.jpg\" alt=\"Flickr | poldberg\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.flickr.com/photos/poldberg/6331185462/\">poldberg\u003c/a>, via Flickr\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>If you don't feel like going out, why not watch a marathon starring your number one crush?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like boys, I suggest this Ryan Gosling triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Drive\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Lars and the Real Girl\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Half Nelson\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cdel>\u003cem>Blue Valentine\u003c/em>\u003c/del> (tonight is not the night for this)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>\u003cdel>The Notebook\u003c/del> \u003c/em>(or this)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like girls, I suggest this Winona Ryder triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Beetlejuice\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Heathers\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Reality Bites\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>5. OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11077\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/kitten_headstand/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11077\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11077\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: That Cute Site\" width=\"600\" height=\"397\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand-400x264.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.thatcutesite.com/kitten-doing-morning-exercises.html\">That Cute Site\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Our society tends to stigmatize spending time by yourself. Loners are weird and wear trench coats and talk to themselves, right? Wrong. The ability to be alone without feeling lonely is something we should all strive for and the surest way to get there is by practicing yoga. Tune into your body, breathe and relax a little. If this really doesn't sound like fun, find comfort in the 96.7% probability that your bendy teacher will be a babe.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>6. SAN FRANCISCO IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/2012/07/san-francisco-i-love-you/\">\u003cimg class=\" \" src=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sfiloveyou_lowres1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"408\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/\">Lisa Congdon\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Significant others come and go and often take your favorite records with them. But San Francisco is always there for you. Spend some time in a place in the city you love or maybe have never gotten around to visiting. And take a bottle of red, while you're at it (that's not weird, it's \u003cem>classy)\u003c/em>. I suggest biking to the Sutro Baths or climbing Bernal or losing yourself in \u003ca href=\"http://mntsutro.com/\">the little-known cloud forest on Mount Sutro\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>7. AWAKEN YOUR INNER CHILD\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11074\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 402px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/attachment/163920399/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11074\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-11074 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/163920399-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Getty\" width=\"402\" height=\"402\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Getty\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>No one appreciates it when you bottle up your emotions and eventually turn into an insufferable jerk for no reason so take out some of that aggression in a healthy way by attending the \u003ca href=\"http://sf.funcheap.com/pillow-fight-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\">annual V-Day Pillow Fight\u003c/a>! It'll be like slumber parties from your past, only you can stay up as late as you want and you probably won't pee the bed this time.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>8. EXPRESS YOURSELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 240px\">\u003cimg src=\"http://youvegotmail.warnerbros.com/img/ygmlogo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"178\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Warner Bros.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, Valentine's Day is a commercial invention, but it does serve as a reminder to tell those important to us that we appreciate and love them. Just 'cause you don't have arm candy this year doesn't mean you shouldn't send cute notes to friends, family members and that cutie who serves you tea every morning. Everyone loves mail so you can't go wrong. And try making a habit of expressing your adoration for the people that matter not just on Valentine's Day, but year round. Kumbaya.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"So you don't have a boo. No biggie. You're cute and fun and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1486775800,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":20,"wordCount":939},"headData":{"title":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles Guide to Valentine's Day 2016 | KQED","description":"So you don't have a boo. No biggie. You're cute and fun and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"20456 http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/?p=20456","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2016/","disqusTitle":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles Guide to Valentine's Day 2016","path":"/pop/20456/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2016","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/IYzlVDlE72w'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/IYzlVDlE72w'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem> (Note: This post made its debut \u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/\">three years ago today\u003c/a>! This is an updated version with brand new events so you don't end up showing up to that Icona Pop concert expecting an encore 1,095 days later.)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So you don't have a boo. No biggie. Sure, it's fun to hold hands and have someone buy you an eclair for no reason and all that jazz. Loving someone else is super. But there's another form of love that predates loving someone else: the love you have for yourself a.k.a. The Greatest Love of All! So this Valentine's Day, let's not be so terribly obvious and transform into Bridget Jones. There's really no reason you need to cry while eating chocolate and singing Celine Dion ballads in your underwear. You're cute and fun and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas of ways to spend your Valentine's Day:\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>1. TREAT YO' SELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ug3vCqbd1rungpko1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You work hard and you deserve nice things. Forget about waiting around for someone to buy you something you've always wanted and treat yo' self! Some good ideas: sweaters, fragrances, massages, mimosas. You get the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>2. CALL ALL THE SINGLE LADIES (all the single ladies)\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcoez1NsMW1rdhbryo1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes it might seem like you're the only person not living in Boo Land (favorite activities for residents include forgetting about their friends and saying annoying things like \"you'll have this someday, too!\"). But there are plenty of friends who are flying solo just like you. So call your favorite friends from this group and be each other's Valentines. Make a three course meal for each other. Or hit up a karaoke joint and sing love songs to each other. \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/01/25/karaoke-survival-guide-10-commandments/\" target=\"_blank\">Just make sure to follow the rules.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>3. GO TO AN EVENT, EXHIBIT, OR SHOW\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/KrZHPOeOxQQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/KrZHPOeOxQQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>There are always 101 things to do at any given moment in this town so surely there is something for you out there. Here are some friendly suggestions:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Event:\u003c/span> If you have something to get off your chest, why not belt it out with a bunch of nostalgic randos? The Roxie Theater is hosting an \u003ca href=\"http://www.roxie.com/ai1ec_event/sf-indie-fest-power-ballad-sing-long/\" target=\"_blank\">'80s Power Ballad Sing-a-long\u003c/a> featured Journey, Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, and all those other bands your older sister teased her bangs to back in the day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Exhibit\u003c/span>: \u003ca href=\"http://www.sfbotanicalgarden.org/garden/magnificent-magnolias-20141.html\">\u003cem>Magnificent Magnolias\u003c/em>\u003c/a> at the SF Botanical Gardens. They're blooming just in time for your hot date with yourself! If that isn't cute enough for you, head on over to the Academy of Sciences to \u003ca href=\"http://www.calacademy.org/events/special-events/penguin-valentines\" target=\"_blank\">watch biologists give Valentines\u003c/a> to African penguins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Concert:\u003c/span> Spend the holiday showing love for early aughts power couple \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/02/03/ja-rule-and-ashanti-want-to-be-your-valentine-also-relevant-again/\" target=\"_blank\">Ashanti and Ja Rule\u003c/a> at 1015 Folsom. Or, if that's not your thing, local music makers are paying homage to dearly departed \u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/david-bowie/\" target=\"_blank\">David Bowie\u003c/a> (miss you, boo!) at \u003ca href=\"http://www.rickshawstop.com/event/1068797-lets-dance-david-bowie-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\">Let's Dance: A David Bowie Tribute Party\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch1 class=\"headliners summary\">\u003c/h1>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>4. HOLLYWOOD CRUSH MARATHON\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_1197\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 333px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/6331185462_244649c8d2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1197\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-1197 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/02/6331185462_244649c8d2.jpg\" alt=\"Flickr | poldberg\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.flickr.com/photos/poldberg/6331185462/\">poldberg\u003c/a>, via Flickr\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>If you don't feel like going out, why not watch a marathon starring your number one crush?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like boys, I suggest this Ryan Gosling triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Drive\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Lars and the Real Girl\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Half Nelson\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cdel>\u003cem>Blue Valentine\u003c/em>\u003c/del> (tonight is not the night for this)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>\u003cdel>The Notebook\u003c/del> \u003c/em>(or this)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like girls, I suggest this Winona Ryder triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Beetlejuice\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Heathers\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Reality Bites\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>5. OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11077\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/kitten_headstand/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11077\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11077\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: That Cute Site\" width=\"600\" height=\"397\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand-400x264.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.thatcutesite.com/kitten-doing-morning-exercises.html\">That Cute Site\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Our society tends to stigmatize spending time by yourself. Loners are weird and wear trench coats and talk to themselves, right? Wrong. The ability to be alone without feeling lonely is something we should all strive for and the surest way to get there is by practicing yoga. Tune into your body, breathe and relax a little. If this really doesn't sound like fun, find comfort in the 96.7% probability that your bendy teacher will be a babe.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>6. SAN FRANCISCO IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/2012/07/san-francisco-i-love-you/\">\u003cimg class=\" \" src=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sfiloveyou_lowres1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"408\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/\">Lisa Congdon\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Significant others come and go and often take your favorite records with them. But San Francisco is always there for you. Spend some time in a place in the city you love or maybe have never gotten around to visiting. And take a bottle of red, while you're at it (that's not weird, it's \u003cem>classy)\u003c/em>. I suggest biking to the Sutro Baths or climbing Bernal or losing yourself in \u003ca href=\"http://mntsutro.com/\">the little-known cloud forest on Mount Sutro\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>7. AWAKEN YOUR INNER CHILD\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11074\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 402px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/attachment/163920399/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11074\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-11074 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/163920399-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Getty\" width=\"402\" height=\"402\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Getty\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>No one appreciates it when you bottle up your emotions and eventually turn into an insufferable jerk for no reason so take out some of that aggression in a healthy way by attending the \u003ca href=\"http://sf.funcheap.com/pillow-fight-san-francisco/\" target=\"_blank\">annual V-Day Pillow Fight\u003c/a>! It'll be like slumber parties from your past, only you can stay up as late as you want and you probably won't pee the bed this time.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>8. EXPRESS YOURSELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 240px\">\u003cimg src=\"http://youvegotmail.warnerbros.com/img/ygmlogo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"178\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Warner Bros.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, Valentine's Day is a commercial invention, but it does serve as a reminder to tell those important to us that we appreciate and love them. Just 'cause you don't have arm candy this year doesn't mean you shouldn't send cute notes to friends, family members and that cutie who serves you tea every morning. Everyone loves mail so you can't go wrong. And try making a habit of expressing your adoration for the people that matter not just on Valentine's Day, but year round. Kumbaya.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/20456/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2016","authors":["27"],"categories":["pop_1"],"tags":["pop_156","pop_157","pop_158"],"featImg":"pop_20462","label":"pop"},"pop_14922":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_14922","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"14922","score":null,"sort":[1423770205000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"from-emily-dickinson-to-iranian-vampires-the-heart-wants-what-it-wants","title":"From Emily Dickinson to Iranian Vampires: The Heart Wants What It Wants","publishDate":1423770205,"format":"standard","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp>In 1862, Emily Dickinson \u003ca href=\"http://www.emilydickinson.it/l0261-0280.html\">wrote\u003c/a>, \"The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care,\" and we've gone about proving this inscrutable wisdom true ever since. Each of us is a patchwork; who we think we are and what we think we want is often much more complicated than we can understand or admit. \u003cem>The heart wants what it wants\u003c/em>, we joke to navigate the contradictory and inexplicable within us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">[contextly_sidebar id=\"JzL01nkapxZQaYJhJPSBTN9QA3NNKCTr\"]\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">In no small way, our popular culture is how we learn to fall in love. It's not just the impressionable age when we see John Cusack holding a boombox aloft, or Jordan Catalano moving in slow-mo to Buffalo Tom. Throughout our adult lives we are met, again and again, with images and evidence of what love is or might be.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is romance more accurately captured by images of \u003ca href=\"http://jezebel.com/how-kelsey-out-crazied-all-other-bachelor-contestants-1683456565\">girls on \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> hyperventilating on the floor\u003c/a> in a bid to win true love or by husband and wife rockstars making out with each other in their\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epm_tGrsQXs&list=PL7F749D5B3A2B54B9&index=1\"> music videos\u003c/a>? Is it even possible to fully examine romance in all of its myriad forms, the sad, sexy and sublime? The long-term and the fleeting. The depressing and the awesome. How do we admit that our love lives are wild, knotted up, unknowable things? And once we've admitted it, how do we go about depicting or explaining the mystery?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15071\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/tumblr_nike7w9zui1qabyxlo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nike7w9zui1qabyxlo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"207\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Much has been made of the recent vampire film, \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.newrepublic.com/article/120329/girl-walks-home-alone-night-review\">A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night\u003c/a>,\u003c/em> and deservedly so.\u003cem> \u003c/em>Nothing in recent memory has illustrated the heart's desires with such style, or with such a killer soundtrack. This is the love story of a feminist skateboarding vampire known as The Girl, and a sweet James Dean-esque boy named Arash, who dresses up like Dracula, but is not a vampire himself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Don't worry, I won't hurt you,\" he says when they bump into each other at night on the street, and the audience I was watching with all chuckled nervously at his obliviousness. When discussing the fact that they don't know each other at all yet, Arash asks The Girl to name the last song she listened to. And who among us has not determined our one true love based on their record collection? The strength of the movie is that each moment offers layers of what it means to connect with one another. The silence, the danger, the intimate spaces are all keenly felt. The Girl and Arash must weigh the risks, the consequences, both of being themselves and of choosing each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-15070 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/giphy.gif\" alt=\"giphy\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is something of a shared sensibility between \u003cem>A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Buffalo '66\u003c/em>, Vincent Gallo's 1998 film about an ex-con and a ballerina falling love. Both movies have urban landscapes, which serve as desolate backdrops for the flawed lovers who exist there. Prolonged vignettes, often of dancing or singing or silence or staring, create evocative spaces. And it's in these quiet spaces where we can concentrate on what it means to fall in love and why we even do. We are allowed to fully feel the mystery for awhile, if not to be granted any sort of lasting clarity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A recent \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fmodern-love&_r=0\">Modern Love column\u003c/a> detailed the psychological study by Dr. Aron, which examined whether or not intimacy can be \"accelerated\" by people asking each other \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html\">a series of 36 questions\u003c/a>. These questions culminate in four minutes of looking into each other's eyes, something that happens a lot in \u003cem>A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night\u003c/em>. Falling in love has long been considered to be part soul mate destiny, part statistical happenstance. In Dr. Aron's questions and their seemingly magical ability to draw two people together, both fate and pragmatism co-mingle. Partly we want to know each other's fears, and partly we want to sit and watch them flit across each other's faces. Love might be simply creating the space in which to truly see the other person. So much of \u003cem>A Girl...\u003c/em> is about this act of looking, what is hidden and revealed within it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our vampire girl and non-vampire boy discuss what they do and don't know about each other late at night beside an oil refinery, where he later gifts her a pair of stolen earrings and pierces her ears so she can wear them. They've both done bad things, they admit. But perhaps love is possible, anyway. Dr. Aron's study suggests that a shared sense of vulnerability plays a role in creating intimacy. Arash's vulnerability is of course that he might be eaten alive at any moment, but The Girl's is that she might be discovered for who she really is. These concerns are relatable.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://vimeo.com/67586897\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"http://fortydaysofdating.com/dates/\">40 Days of Dating\u003c/a>, a blog project between two friends (which as of January is now a book as well), Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman document their experiment of dating for 40 days. Similar to the love questions experiment, this project plays with the suggestion that love and chemistry are not merely magical things outside of our control, but can be the result of conscious decisions and actions. My favorite part of the \"rules\" of their project was the daily questionnaire, which they both answered, and seemed to inspire a sense of objectivity and honesty. Though they didn't end up together, the endeavor was worthwhile in terms of taking the time to examine our own inclinations and ability to create intimacy. In what ways might we take control, look more closely, attempt to understand?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The 40 Days of Dating blog states, \"Love is a central theme in humanity across time and cultures. It’s one of the main topics in music, film, novels, poetry, and art. But what exactly is it, and why do we all approach it so differently? How does it affect us so deeply that sane people have gone mad over it?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are unanswerable questions, I suppose. It can be fun and illuminating to map and analyze the heart in as many ways as we can dream up, through vampire stories and psychological experiments, through dating our friends, and staring at each other for long periods of time. Though at the end of the staring, the experiments, and the silences, I think no one has gotten much further by way of articulating our desires than Emily Dickinson did those many years ago. The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Our culture has tried to analyze love through vampire stories, dating our friends, and staring at each other for long periods of time. And all of it might lead back to Emily Dickinson.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1486775630,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":16,"wordCount":1127},"headData":{"title":"From Emily Dickinson to Iranian Vampires: The Heart Wants What It Wants | KQED","description":"Our culture has tried to analyze love through vampire stories, dating our friends, and staring at each other for long periods of time. And all of it might lead back to Emily Dickinson.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"14922 http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/?p=14922","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2015/02/12/from-emily-dickinson-to-iranian-vampires-the-heart-wants-what-it-wants/","disqusTitle":"From Emily Dickinson to Iranian Vampires: The Heart Wants What It Wants","path":"/pop/14922/from-emily-dickinson-to-iranian-vampires-the-heart-wants-what-it-wants","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In 1862, Emily Dickinson \u003ca href=\"http://www.emilydickinson.it/l0261-0280.html\">wrote\u003c/a>, \"The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care,\" and we've gone about proving this inscrutable wisdom true ever since. Each of us is a patchwork; who we think we are and what we think we want is often much more complicated than we can understand or admit. \u003cem>The heart wants what it wants\u003c/em>, we joke to navigate the contradictory and inexplicable within us.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"line-height: 1.5\">In no small way, our popular culture is how we learn to fall in love. It's not just the impressionable age when we see John Cusack holding a boombox aloft, or Jordan Catalano moving in slow-mo to Buffalo Tom. Throughout our adult lives we are met, again and again, with images and evidence of what love is or might be.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is romance more accurately captured by images of \u003ca href=\"http://jezebel.com/how-kelsey-out-crazied-all-other-bachelor-contestants-1683456565\">girls on \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em> hyperventilating on the floor\u003c/a> in a bid to win true love or by husband and wife rockstars making out with each other in their\u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Epm_tGrsQXs&list=PL7F749D5B3A2B54B9&index=1\"> music videos\u003c/a>? Is it even possible to fully examine romance in all of its myriad forms, the sad, sexy and sublime? The long-term and the fleeting. The depressing and the awesome. How do we admit that our love lives are wild, knotted up, unknowable things? And once we've admitted it, how do we go about depicting or explaining the mystery?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-15071\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/tumblr_nike7w9zui1qabyxlo1_500.gif\" alt=\"tumblr_nike7w9zui1qabyxlo1_500\" width=\"500\" height=\"207\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Much has been made of the recent vampire film, \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"http://www.newrepublic.com/article/120329/girl-walks-home-alone-night-review\">A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night\u003c/a>,\u003c/em> and deservedly so.\u003cem> \u003c/em>Nothing in recent memory has illustrated the heart's desires with such style, or with such a killer soundtrack. This is the love story of a feminist skateboarding vampire known as The Girl, and a sweet James Dean-esque boy named Arash, who dresses up like Dracula, but is not a vampire himself.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Don't worry, I won't hurt you,\" he says when they bump into each other at night on the street, and the audience I was watching with all chuckled nervously at his obliviousness. When discussing the fact that they don't know each other at all yet, Arash asks The Girl to name the last song she listened to. And who among us has not determined our one true love based on their record collection? The strength of the movie is that each moment offers layers of what it means to connect with one another. The silence, the danger, the intimate spaces are all keenly felt. The Girl and Arash must weigh the risks, the consequences, both of being themselves and of choosing each other.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-15070 size-full\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/02/giphy.gif\" alt=\"giphy\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There is something of a shared sensibility between \u003cem>A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Buffalo '66\u003c/em>, Vincent Gallo's 1998 film about an ex-con and a ballerina falling love. Both movies have urban landscapes, which serve as desolate backdrops for the flawed lovers who exist there. Prolonged vignettes, often of dancing or singing or silence or staring, create evocative spaces. And it's in these quiet spaces where we can concentrate on what it means to fall in love and why we even do. We are allowed to fully feel the mystery for awhile, if not to be granted any sort of lasting clarity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A recent \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fmodern-love&_r=0\">Modern Love column\u003c/a> detailed the psychological study by Dr. Aron, which examined whether or not intimacy can be \"accelerated\" by people asking each other \u003ca href=\"http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html\">a series of 36 questions\u003c/a>. These questions culminate in four minutes of looking into each other's eyes, something that happens a lot in \u003cem>A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night\u003c/em>. Falling in love has long been considered to be part soul mate destiny, part statistical happenstance. In Dr. Aron's questions and their seemingly magical ability to draw two people together, both fate and pragmatism co-mingle. Partly we want to know each other's fears, and partly we want to sit and watch them flit across each other's faces. Love might be simply creating the space in which to truly see the other person. So much of \u003cem>A Girl...\u003c/em> is about this act of looking, what is hidden and revealed within it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Our vampire girl and non-vampire boy discuss what they do and don't know about each other late at night beside an oil refinery, where he later gifts her a pair of stolen earrings and pierces her ears so she can wear them. They've both done bad things, they admit. But perhaps love is possible, anyway. Dr. Aron's study suggests that a shared sense of vulnerability plays a role in creating intimacy. Arash's vulnerability is of course that he might be eaten alive at any moment, but The Girl's is that she might be discovered for who she really is. These concerns are relatable.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"vimeoLink","attributes":{"named":{"vimeoId":"67586897"},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"http://fortydaysofdating.com/dates/\">40 Days of Dating\u003c/a>, a blog project between two friends (which as of January is now a book as well), Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman document their experiment of dating for 40 days. Similar to the love questions experiment, this project plays with the suggestion that love and chemistry are not merely magical things outside of our control, but can be the result of conscious decisions and actions. My favorite part of the \"rules\" of their project was the daily questionnaire, which they both answered, and seemed to inspire a sense of objectivity and honesty. Though they didn't end up together, the endeavor was worthwhile in terms of taking the time to examine our own inclinations and ability to create intimacy. In what ways might we take control, look more closely, attempt to understand?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The 40 Days of Dating blog states, \"Love is a central theme in humanity across time and cultures. It’s one of the main topics in music, film, novels, poetry, and art. But what exactly is it, and why do we all approach it so differently? How does it affect us so deeply that sane people have gone mad over it?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>These are unanswerable questions, I suppose. It can be fun and illuminating to map and analyze the heart in as many ways as we can dream up, through vampire stories and psychological experiments, through dating our friends, and staring at each other for long periods of time. Though at the end of the staring, the experiments, and the silences, I think no one has gotten much further by way of articulating our desires than Emily Dickinson did those many years ago. The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/14922/from-emily-dickinson-to-iranian-vampires-the-heart-wants-what-it-wants","authors":["2415"],"categories":["pop_51","pop_155"],"tags":["pop_157","pop_158"],"featImg":"pop_15069","label":"pop"},"pop_11070":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_11070","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"11070","score":null,"sort":[1392213678000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014","title":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles' Guide to Valentine's Day 2014","publishDate":1392213678,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w]\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>(Note: This post made its debut \u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/\">one year ago today\u003c/a>! This is an updated version with brand new events so you don't end up showing up to that Icona Pop concert expecting an encore 365 days later.)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So you don't have a boo. No biggie. Sure, it's fun to hold hands and have someone buy you an eclair for no reason and all that jazz. Loving someone else is super. But there's another form of love that predates loving someone else: the love you have for yourself a.k.a. The Greatest Love of All! So this Valentine's Day, let's not be so terribly obvious and transform into Bridget Jones. There's really no reason you need to cry while eating chocolate and singing Celine Dion ballads in your underwear. You're cute and fun and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas of ways to spend your Valentine's Day:\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>1. TREAT YO' SELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ug3vCqbd1rungpko1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You work hard and you deserve nice things. Forget about waiting around for someone to buy you something you've always wanted and treat yo' self! Some good ideas: sweaters, fragrances, massages, mimosas. You get the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>2. CALL ALL THE SINGLE LADIES (all the single ladies)\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcoez1NsMW1rdhbryo1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes it might seem like you're the only person not living in Boo Land (favorite activities for residents include forgetting about their friends and saying annoying things like \"you'll have this someday, too!\"). But there are plenty of friends who are flying solo just like you. So call your favorite friends from this group and be each other's Valentines. Make a three course meal for each other. Or hit up a karaoke joint and sing love songs to each other. \u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/01/25/karaoke-survival-guide-10-commandments/\">Just make sure to follow the rules.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>3. GO TO AN EVENT, EXHIBIT, OR SHOW\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrZHPOeOxQQ]\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>There are always 101 things to do at any given moment in this town so surely there is something for you out there. Here are some friendly suggestions:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Event:\u003c/span> If you have something to get off your chest, why not belt it out with a bunch of nostalgic randos? The Roxie Theater is hosting an \u003ca href=\"http://prod3.agileticketing.net/websales/pages/info.aspx?evtinfo=71499~50c99741-ceec-4bfa-94b4-b7d919a3c410&epguid=5396476d-926a-4262-9cd5-690d83749ab9&\">'80s Power Ballad Sing-a-long\u003c/a> featured Journey, Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, and all those other bands your older sister teased her bangs to back in the day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Exhibit\u003c/span>: \u003ca href=\"http://www.sfbotanicalgarden.org/garden/magnificent-magnolias-20141.html\">\u003cem>Magnificent Magnolias\u003c/em>\u003c/a> at the SF Botanical Gardens. They're blooming just in time for your hot date with yourself! Also, for those of you who wish you were getting some diamonds this Valentine's Day, the de Young is hosting an exhibit called \u003ca href=\"https://deyoung.famsf.org/deyoung/exhibitions/art-bulgari-la-dolce-vita-beyond-1950-1990\">\u003cem>The Art of Bulgari: La Dolce Vita & Beyond, 1950–1990\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, where you can ogle some of their finest pieces, including some from Elizabeth Taylor's collection. You're worth as much as whatever her bling costs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Concert:\u003c/span> Spend the holiday showing love for local music makers \u003ca href=\"http://thefillmore.com/ai1ec_event/thao-get-down-stay-down/\">Thao & the Get Down Stay Down at the Fillmore\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>4. HOLLYWOOD CRUSH MARATHON\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_1197\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 333px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/6331185462_244649c8d2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1197\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-1197 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/02/6331185462_244649c8d2.jpg\" alt=\"Flickr | poldberg\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.flickr.com/photos/poldberg/6331185462/\">poldberg\u003c/a>, via Flickr\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>If you don't feel like going out, why not watch a marathon starring your number one crush?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like boys, I suggest this Ryan Gosling triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Drive\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Lars and the Real Girl\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Half Nelson\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cdel>\u003cem>Blue Valentine\u003c/em>\u003c/del> (tonight is not the night for this)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>\u003cdel>The Notebook\u003c/del> \u003c/em>(or this)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like girls, I suggest this Winona Ryder triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Beetlejuice\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Heathers\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Reality Bites\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>5. OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11077\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/kitten_headstand/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11077\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11077\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: That Cute Site\" width=\"600\" height=\"397\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand-400x264.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.thatcutesite.com/kitten-doing-morning-exercises.html\">That Cute Site\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Our society tends to stigmatize spending time by yourself. Loners are weird and wear trench coats and talk to themselves, right? Wrong. The ability to be alone without feeling lonely is something we should all strive for and the surest way to get there is by practicing yoga. Tune into your body and breathe and relax a little. If this really doesn't sound like fun, find comfort in the 96.7% probability that your bendy teacher will be a babe.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>6. SAN FRANCISCO IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/2012/07/san-francisco-i-love-you/\">\u003cimg class=\" \" src=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sfiloveyou_lowres1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"408\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/\">Lisa Congdon\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Significant others come and go and often take your favorite records with them. But San Francisco is always there for you. Spend some time in a place in the city you love or maybe have never gotten around to visiting. And take a bottle of red, while you're at it (that's not weird, it's \u003cem>classy)\u003c/em>. I suggest biking to the Sutro Baths or climbing Bernal or losing yourself in \u003ca href=\"http://mntsutro.com/\">the little-known cloud forest on Mount Sutro\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>7. AWAKEN YOUR INNER CHILD\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11074\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 402px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/attachment/163920399/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11074\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-11074 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/163920399-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Getty\" width=\"402\" height=\"402\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Getty\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>No one appreciates it when you bottle up your emotions and eventually turn into an insufferable jerk for no reason so take out some of that aggression in a healthy way by attending the \u003ca href=\"http://sf.funcheap.com/pillow-fight-san-francisco/\">annual V-Day Pillow Fight\u003c/a>! It'll be like slumber parties from your past, only you can stay up as late as you want and you probably won't pee the bed this time.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>8. EXPRESS YOURSELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 240px\">\u003cimg src=\"http://youvegotmail.warnerbros.com/img/ygmlogo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"178\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Warner Bros.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, Valentine's Day is a commercial invention, but it does serve as a reminder to tell those important to us that we appreciate and love them. Just cause you don't have arm candy this year doesn't mean you shouldn't send cute notes to friends and family members and that cutie who serves you tea every morning. Everyone loves mail so you can't go wrong. And try making a habit of expressing your adoration for the people that matter not just on Valentine's Day, but year round. Kumbaya.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"So you don't have a boo. No biggie. You're cute and fun and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas of ways to spend your Valentine's Day.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1486775840,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":true,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":21,"wordCount":946},"headData":{"title":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles' Guide to Valentine's Day 2014 | KQED","description":"So you don't have a boo. No biggie. You're cute and fun and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas of ways to spend your Valentine's Day.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"11070 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=11070","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/","disqusTitle":"No Boo? No Problem! A Singles' Guide to Valentine's Day 2014","path":"/pop/11070/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/IYzlVDlE72w'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/IYzlVDlE72w'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>(Note: This post made its debut \u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/\">one year ago today\u003c/a>! This is an updated version with brand new events so you don't end up showing up to that Icona Pop concert expecting an encore 365 days later.)\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So you don't have a boo. No biggie. Sure, it's fun to hold hands and have someone buy you an eclair for no reason and all that jazz. Loving someone else is super. But there's another form of love that predates loving someone else: the love you have for yourself a.k.a. The Greatest Love of All! So this Valentine's Day, let's not be so terribly obvious and transform into Bridget Jones. There's really no reason you need to cry while eating chocolate and singing Celine Dion ballads in your underwear. You're cute and fun and you should get out there and do cute and fun things! Here are a few ideas of ways to spend your Valentine's Day:\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>1. TREAT YO' SELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ug3vCqbd1rungpko1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You work hard and you deserve nice things. Forget about waiting around for someone to buy you something you've always wanted and treat yo' self! Some good ideas: sweaters, fragrances, massages, mimosas. You get the idea.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>2. CALL ALL THE SINGLE LADIES (all the single ladies)\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcoez1NsMW1rdhbryo1_500.gif\" alt=\"\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sometimes it might seem like you're the only person not living in Boo Land (favorite activities for residents include forgetting about their friends and saying annoying things like \"you'll have this someday, too!\"). But there are plenty of friends who are flying solo just like you. So call your favorite friends from this group and be each other's Valentines. Make a three course meal for each other. Or hit up a karaoke joint and sing love songs to each other. \u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/01/25/karaoke-survival-guide-10-commandments/\">Just make sure to follow the rules.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>3. GO TO AN EVENT, EXHIBIT, OR SHOW\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cdiv class=\"single-video\">\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/KrZHPOeOxQQ'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/KrZHPOeOxQQ'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/div>\n\u003cp>There are always 101 things to do at any given moment in this town so surely there is something for you out there. Here are some friendly suggestions:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Event:\u003c/span> If you have something to get off your chest, why not belt it out with a bunch of nostalgic randos? The Roxie Theater is hosting an \u003ca href=\"http://prod3.agileticketing.net/websales/pages/info.aspx?evtinfo=71499~50c99741-ceec-4bfa-94b4-b7d919a3c410&epguid=5396476d-926a-4262-9cd5-690d83749ab9&\">'80s Power Ballad Sing-a-long\u003c/a> featured Journey, Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, and all those other bands your older sister teased her bangs to back in the day.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Exhibit\u003c/span>: \u003ca href=\"http://www.sfbotanicalgarden.org/garden/magnificent-magnolias-20141.html\">\u003cem>Magnificent Magnolias\u003c/em>\u003c/a> at the SF Botanical Gardens. They're blooming just in time for your hot date with yourself! Also, for those of you who wish you were getting some diamonds this Valentine's Day, the de Young is hosting an exhibit called \u003ca href=\"https://deyoung.famsf.org/deyoung/exhibitions/art-bulgari-la-dolce-vita-beyond-1950-1990\">\u003cem>The Art of Bulgari: La Dolce Vita & Beyond, 1950–1990\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, where you can ogle some of their finest pieces, including some from Elizabeth Taylor's collection. You're worth as much as whatever her bling costs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Concert:\u003c/span> Spend the holiday showing love for local music makers \u003ca href=\"http://thefillmore.com/ai1ec_event/thao-get-down-stay-down/\">Thao & the Get Down Stay Down at the Fillmore\u003c/a>!\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>4. HOLLYWOOD CRUSH MARATHON\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_1197\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 333px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day/6331185462_244649c8d2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1197\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-1197 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/02/6331185462_244649c8d2.jpg\" alt=\"Flickr | poldberg\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.flickr.com/photos/poldberg/6331185462/\">poldberg\u003c/a>, via Flickr\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>If you don't feel like going out, why not watch a marathon starring your number one crush?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like boys, I suggest this Ryan Gosling triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Drive\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Lars and the Real Girl\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Half Nelson\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cdel>\u003cem>Blue Valentine\u003c/em>\u003c/del> (tonight is not the night for this)\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>\u003cdel>The Notebook\u003c/del> \u003c/em>(or this)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you like girls, I suggest this Winona Ryder triple feature:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Beetlejuice\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Heathers\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>Reality Bites\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>5. OPEN YOUR THIRD EYE\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11077\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/kitten_headstand/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11077\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-11077\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: That Cute Site\" width=\"600\" height=\"397\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand.jpg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/kitten_headstand-400x264.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://www.thatcutesite.com/kitten-doing-morning-exercises.html\">That Cute Site\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Our society tends to stigmatize spending time by yourself. Loners are weird and wear trench coats and talk to themselves, right? Wrong. The ability to be alone without feeling lonely is something we should all strive for and the surest way to get there is by practicing yoga. Tune into your body and breathe and relax a little. If this really doesn't sound like fun, find comfort in the 96.7% probability that your bendy teacher will be a babe.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>6. SAN FRANCISCO IS YOUR LIFE PARTNER\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 600px\">\u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/2012/07/san-francisco-i-love-you/\">\u003cimg class=\" \" src=\"http://lisacongdon.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/sfiloveyou_lowres1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"408\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: \u003ca href=\"http://lisacongdon.com/\">Lisa Congdon\u003c/a>\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Significant others come and go and often take your favorite records with them. But San Francisco is always there for you. Spend some time in a place in the city you love or maybe have never gotten around to visiting. And take a bottle of red, while you're at it (that's not weird, it's \u003cem>classy)\u003c/em>. I suggest biking to the Sutro Baths or climbing Bernal or losing yourself in \u003ca href=\"http://mntsutro.com/\">the little-known cloud forest on Mount Sutro\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>7. AWAKEN YOUR INNER CHILD\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_11074\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 402px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2014/02/12/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014/attachment/163920399/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-11074\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-11074 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/02/163920399-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Photo: Getty\" width=\"402\" height=\"402\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Getty\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>No one appreciates it when you bottle up your emotions and eventually turn into an insufferable jerk for no reason so take out some of that aggression in a healthy way by attending the \u003ca href=\"http://sf.funcheap.com/pillow-fight-san-francisco/\">annual V-Day Pillow Fight\u003c/a>! It'll be like slumber parties from your past, only you can stay up as late as you want and you probably won't pee the bed this time.\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cstrong>8. EXPRESS YOURSELF\u003c/strong>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cfigure class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 240px\">\u003cimg src=\"http://youvegotmail.warnerbros.com/img/ygmlogo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"178\">\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo: Warner Bros.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sure, Valentine's Day is a commercial invention, but it does serve as a reminder to tell those important to us that we appreciate and love them. Just cause you don't have arm candy this year doesn't mean you shouldn't send cute notes to friends and family members and that cutie who serves you tea every morning. Everyone loves mail so you can't go wrong. And try making a habit of expressing your adoration for the people that matter not just on Valentine's Day, but year round. Kumbaya.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/11070/no-boo-no-problem-a-singles-guide-to-valentines-day-2014","authors":["27"],"categories":["pop_6"],"tags":["pop_156","pop_157","pop_158","pop_2788"],"featImg":"pop_11071","label":"pop"},"pop_9422":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_9422","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"9422","score":null,"sort":[1383162003000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"explaining-fifty-shades-of-grey-with-our-anonymous-panel-of-experts","title":"Explaining Fifty Shades of Grey With Our Anonymous Panel of Experts","publishDate":1383162003,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9425\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 637px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/30/explaining-fifty-shades-of-grey-with-our-anonymous-panel-of-experts/50shades/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9425\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-9425\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/50shades.jpg\" alt=\"50shades\" width=\"637\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/50shades.jpg 637w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/50shades-400x224.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 637px) 100vw, 637px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image by Lizzy Acker\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It seemed to dissipate for a while but then, with news of the casting of its film version, that Trojan gift to literature \u003cem>Fifty Shades of Grey\u003c/em> was back on our pop culture consciousness with a vengeance. (Latest news: \u003cem>The Sons of Anarchy\u003c/em> star Charlie Hunman is out and \u003cem>Once Upon a Time\u003c/em> actor Jamie Dornan is in as spank happy Christian Grey.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like the Highlander or the herp, \u003cem>Fifty Shades \u003c/em>never really goes away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those of you blissfully unaware of the housewife friendly BDSM phenom, \u003cem>KQED Pop\u003c/em> enlisted a panel of closet Fifty Shadies (a new term we just invented for fans of the trilogy) to explain to us some of the very basics of the \"novels,\" their reaction to casting news and whether or not \u003cem>Grey\u003c/em> is destined to become trash for the ages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Panelists\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>P1: 29-years-old, works in the fashion industry. Generally reads classic literature with a few palette cleansing forays into trash between excursions into Victor Hugo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>P2: 23-years-old, newly engaged college student. Tastes range from waiting in line for comic book film adaptions to big budget musicals and all manner of sports viewing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>P3: 37-years-old, former tech executive, current stay-at-home-mom and member of several ladies auxiliaries. Loves classic punk rock, early Tex Avery cartoons and subscribes to \u003cem>The New Yorker\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Hi panelists. Thanks for talking to us. As promised your identities will be protected. First and foremost, in words that people who don't care can understand, what are the \u003cem>Fifty Shades of Grey\u003c/em>? Do they start with sort of a battleship and go all the way to charcoal?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Haha. No.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: I'd summarize the books with this: a sex crazed billionaire who gets everything he wants when he wants it by any means necessary is forced to learn patience and trust when he meets a special lady.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Just say \"a journey of self discovery and boundary pushing sexually and emotionally\" yada yada blah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: What are your credentials for explaining this \"literature\": i.e. what other \"literature\" have you read?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: I assume when you say \"literature\" with those air quotes you mean \"trash.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: I read my share of early Anne Rice and romance novels growing up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: I buzzed through the \u003cem>Twilight\u003c/em> series when I had mono.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: I prefer the classics: \u003cem>Peyton Place\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Valley of the Dolls\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Marjory Morningstar\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Who are the major characters?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Sexy, kinky billionaire Christian \"50 Shades\" Grey and Anastasia Steele, English lit major with some hang-ups, are the primaries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Secondarily we have Ana's best friend and roommate Katherine (Kate) Kavanagh, Anastasia's photographer friend Jose (who's in love with her), Christian's brother Elliot Grey (love interest of Kate), Mia Grey (Christian's sister), Ethan Kavanagh (Kate's bro and Mia's love interest), Jack Hyde (Ana's boss) and Elena Lincoln (Mrs. Robinson) Christian's friend/business partner and the woman who introduced him to BDSM at the age of 15.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Now that we know who they are, what's wrong with these people?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Anastasia is beautiful, but unaware of it, and thinks she's not attractive enough for Christian. She's also uncomfortable with his wealth and it is often a source of discord between them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Christian was abused as a child by his prostitute mother's pimp and adopted/rescued when he was 4 by his adoptive parents the Greys\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Let's just cut to the chase: talk about the hitting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: As a result of how he was treated as a child, Christian had anger issues and lashed out at school and home. At 15 one of his mother's friends decided she knew a way to channel his anger, and she becomes his dominant and introduces him to BDSM. Eventually he decided he wanted to be dominant and leaves the \"relationship\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: At 15?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: It's very \u003cem>The Reader\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: So, apparently it's three books? Why in God's name is it three books?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Yes! \u003cem>Fifty Shades\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Fifty Shades: Darker\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Fifty Shades: Freed.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: The first book sets up the relationship with Ana and Christian: their meeting, dating (or whatever you can call it), hooking up \"vanilla style\", then not so vanilla. She wants to know how spicy it can get, he shows her, she can't deal with it and it ends with them breaking up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong> In the second book Ana gets her first job out of college, becomes an assistant to Jack Hyde at a publishing company, reunites with Fifty (after he makes some concessions). Then Ana meets Mrs. Robinson, and gets stalked by one of Fifty's old subs. Christian, being the jealous, over-protective and the controlling megalomaniac that he is, decides to buy the company that Ana works for. Ana's boss Jack makes very forceful unwanted sexual advances towards her, she tells Christian and he fires him when he takes over the company. It ends at a party at Christian's parents house, where he announces he and Ana are engaged while Jack lurks outside, plotting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: The third book is...honeymoon meow...the boss trying to extract revenge...Ana finally getting through to Christian about how Mrs. Robinson is not really his friend, she's a child molester who took advantage of him and despite all her protests to the contrary actually wants Christian back. Phew, drama! Ana gets preggo, Fifty takes some convincing on the future parent front, for obvious reasons, and evil Jack gets served! They move into a house Fifty designed for them and have another baby. They live happily ever after (whip cracking sound).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Shoot! I forgot the red room of pain, the plane crash, the shooting and the fire!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Clarification: when you say \"Mrs. Robinson\" do you mean the lady from \u003cem>The Graduate\u003c/em> and when you say \"Fifty\" do people actually call him that, like 50 Cent?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Kind of.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: So, on a scale of V.C. Andrews (high) to Stephanie Meyer (low), how trashy is it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: \u003cem>Twilight\u003c/em> wasn't trashy at all, at least not by Harlequin standards: there's really only one descriptive sex scene and it's obviously written by a Mormon. I never read \u003cem>Flowers in the Attic\u003c/em> or other V.C. Andrews books: I was too busy reading trashy predictable Harlequin \"romances\" and actual works of literature. I hope I don't lose my street cred with that admission.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: It's somewhere between later V.C. Andrews and early erotica Anne Rice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Agreed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: As fans, do you think \u003cem>Fifty Shades of Grey\u003c/em> can really be filmed?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Honestly, we will see.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: You could make an okay film with all the non-sexual drama in the book, there's lots of action.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: In actuality the main focus of the book is their relationship, and how it evolves physically and emotionally: physically being the key word. A main point of contention between them is him thinking he needs the BDSM and her struggle to understand/accept that and learn her boundaries, while also pushing his.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Leaving out the sex in the movie version would be like leaving out a number in an equation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: What do you think of the film casting?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: I like it for the most part. I'm happy with the Christian change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Dornan physically looks more like Christian as described in the books. Luke Grimes as Elliot is perfect: I totally see him as an approachable, laid back, ladies man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: I don't know how I feel about Jennifer Ehle playing Ana's mom Carla: she's Lizzy Bennet to me. My poor brain, \u003cem>Pride and Prejudice\u003c/em> mixing with \u003cem>Fifty Shades\u003c/em>. Jane Austin is harrumphing in Mr. Darcy's grave I bet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Is there an ideal Christian among you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: We all agree on Matt Bomer: hair, eyes, body, perfect.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: 2nd place, Ian Somerhalder. He's got the smoldering introspection down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: And an ideal Anastasia?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Dakota Johnson looks more like a Kate: confident, poised, blond and traditionally beautiful, Alexis Bledel would be a better Ana, reserved, unknowingly beautiful, convincingly naive, shy, and a little clumsy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: How much longer do you think I'm going to hear about this? Is it trash for the ages?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Until something \"better\" comes along. Part of why I think people are so fascinated is you can spend hours debating whether it's a detriment or asset to feminism.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Honestly: have you been inspired to hit anyone during the act since you read the books?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: No but a good spanking never hurt anyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: A little.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Yes, but only in anger and only because he deserved it. I'm kidding. No.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>:If you were going to make a comedy parody who would you cast?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(The following have been agreed upon by all three panelists)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Seth Myers as Fifty\u003cbr>\nTina Fey as Ana\u003cbr>\nAmy Poehler as Kate\u003cbr>\nSkinny Seth Rogan as Elliot Grey\u003cbr>\nZach Galifianakis as Jose\u003cbr>\nSarah Jessica Parker as Mrs Robinson\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: In conclusion, you're all smart, well-balanced ladies with fantastic taste in all other areas. Why do you like this book?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Besides the mommy porn?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong> Well, forgetting that it's not actually well-written, I like that Christian and Ana struggle, that they have depth and a hint of layers, especially compared with other \"romance\" novel characters. I like men that know themselves and what they want, who take charge, and get things done. It' sexy. And I think a lot of woman feel this way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Because women are problem solvers, who doesn't like a fixer upper in the guise of a grown man who can't be touched and has trust issues? We feel guilty; our feminists fore-mothers are shaming us from the grave. He takes over her life, I can hear them saying, \"he's demanding, over bearing, bossy, stalky and micro-managy,\" which isn't a word, whatever, and he is all those things! And she fights it, and embraces it at the same time. I think women have a similar struggle: we want someone to be that \"into\" us, to consume us, while still keeping our identities. Ana often enjoys relinquishing control to him, like a weight has been lifted. Again, I hear them groaning, threatening to come at me with pitchforks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: At first glance it's so predictable... attractive, broody, emotionally aloof billionaire whisks hardworking, poor girl off her feet. It's a rescue fantasy, white knight included, what we all secretly wish for and are embarrassed by. I know I'm supposed to be a strong independent woman, but sometimes you just want someone else to pay the bills and make the decisions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Just deal with it Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and shove that down your PANTS Betty Friedan! Sorry, that was too far, where was I... oh yes, here's where the fairytale and \u003cem>Fifty Shades\u003c/em> diverge... Cinderella never got flogged, or spanked, never got silver balls put up her princess parts, never enjoyed getting an A+ in you-know-what jobs 101, and Prince Charming didn't have a bondage room in the castle and a non-disclosure agreement to keep Cinderella from blabbing to the tabloids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: I think \u003cem>Fifty Shades\u003c/em> \"secretly\" lets woman indulge in a fantasy of submission that we are supposed to be embarrassed/repelled/angered by. And while Christian Grey is an extremely exaggerated version of that fantasy, it exists none-the-less.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"We enlisted a panel of closet Fifty Shadies to explain to us some of the very basics of the \"novels,\" their reaction to casting news and whether or not Grey is destined to become trash for the ages.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1383240464,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":70,"wordCount":1953},"headData":{"title":"Explaining Fifty Shades of Grey With Our Anonymous Panel of Experts | KQED","description":"We enlisted a panel of closet Fifty Shadies to explain to us some of the very basics of the "novels," their reaction to casting news and whether or not Grey is destined to become trash for the ages.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"9422 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=9422","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/30/explaining-fifty-shades-of-grey-with-our-anonymous-panel-of-experts/","disqusTitle":"Explaining Fifty Shades of Grey With Our Anonymous Panel of Experts","path":"/pop/9422/explaining-fifty-shades-of-grey-with-our-anonymous-panel-of-experts","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9425\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 637px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/30/explaining-fifty-shades-of-grey-with-our-anonymous-panel-of-experts/50shades/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9425\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-9425\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/50shades.jpg\" alt=\"50shades\" width=\"637\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/50shades.jpg 637w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/50shades-400x224.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 637px) 100vw, 637px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image by Lizzy Acker\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It seemed to dissipate for a while but then, with news of the casting of its film version, that Trojan gift to literature \u003cem>Fifty Shades of Grey\u003c/em> was back on our pop culture consciousness with a vengeance. (Latest news: \u003cem>The Sons of Anarchy\u003c/em> star Charlie Hunman is out and \u003cem>Once Upon a Time\u003c/em> actor Jamie Dornan is in as spank happy Christian Grey.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like the Highlander or the herp, \u003cem>Fifty Shades \u003c/em>never really goes away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those of you blissfully unaware of the housewife friendly BDSM phenom, \u003cem>KQED Pop\u003c/em> enlisted a panel of closet Fifty Shadies (a new term we just invented for fans of the trilogy) to explain to us some of the very basics of the \"novels,\" their reaction to casting news and whether or not \u003cem>Grey\u003c/em> is destined to become trash for the ages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Panelists\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>P1: 29-years-old, works in the fashion industry. Generally reads classic literature with a few palette cleansing forays into trash between excursions into Victor Hugo\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>P2: 23-years-old, newly engaged college student. Tastes range from waiting in line for comic book film adaptions to big budget musicals and all manner of sports viewing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>P3: 37-years-old, former tech executive, current stay-at-home-mom and member of several ladies auxiliaries. Loves classic punk rock, early Tex Avery cartoons and subscribes to \u003cem>The New Yorker\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Hi panelists. Thanks for talking to us. As promised your identities will be protected. First and foremost, in words that people who don't care can understand, what are the \u003cem>Fifty Shades of Grey\u003c/em>? Do they start with sort of a battleship and go all the way to charcoal?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Haha. No.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: I'd summarize the books with this: a sex crazed billionaire who gets everything he wants when he wants it by any means necessary is forced to learn patience and trust when he meets a special lady.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Just say \"a journey of self discovery and boundary pushing sexually and emotionally\" yada yada blah.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: What are your credentials for explaining this \"literature\": i.e. what other \"literature\" have you read?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: I assume when you say \"literature\" with those air quotes you mean \"trash.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: I read my share of early Anne Rice and romance novels growing up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: I buzzed through the \u003cem>Twilight\u003c/em> series when I had mono.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: I prefer the classics: \u003cem>Peyton Place\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Valley of the Dolls\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Marjory Morningstar\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Who are the major characters?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Sexy, kinky billionaire Christian \"50 Shades\" Grey and Anastasia Steele, English lit major with some hang-ups, are the primaries.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Secondarily we have Ana's best friend and roommate Katherine (Kate) Kavanagh, Anastasia's photographer friend Jose (who's in love with her), Christian's brother Elliot Grey (love interest of Kate), Mia Grey (Christian's sister), Ethan Kavanagh (Kate's bro and Mia's love interest), Jack Hyde (Ana's boss) and Elena Lincoln (Mrs. Robinson) Christian's friend/business partner and the woman who introduced him to BDSM at the age of 15.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Now that we know who they are, what's wrong with these people?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Anastasia is beautiful, but unaware of it, and thinks she's not attractive enough for Christian. She's also uncomfortable with his wealth and it is often a source of discord between them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Christian was abused as a child by his prostitute mother's pimp and adopted/rescued when he was 4 by his adoptive parents the Greys\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Let's just cut to the chase: talk about the hitting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: As a result of how he was treated as a child, Christian had anger issues and lashed out at school and home. At 15 one of his mother's friends decided she knew a way to channel his anger, and she becomes his dominant and introduces him to BDSM. Eventually he decided he wanted to be dominant and leaves the \"relationship\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: At 15?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: It's very \u003cem>The Reader\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: So, apparently it's three books? Why in God's name is it three books?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Yes! \u003cem>Fifty Shades\u003c/em>, \u003cem>Fifty Shades: Darker\u003c/em> and \u003cem>Fifty Shades: Freed.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: The first book sets up the relationship with Ana and Christian: their meeting, dating (or whatever you can call it), hooking up \"vanilla style\", then not so vanilla. She wants to know how spicy it can get, he shows her, she can't deal with it and it ends with them breaking up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong> In the second book Ana gets her first job out of college, becomes an assistant to Jack Hyde at a publishing company, reunites with Fifty (after he makes some concessions). Then Ana meets Mrs. Robinson, and gets stalked by one of Fifty's old subs. Christian, being the jealous, over-protective and the controlling megalomaniac that he is, decides to buy the company that Ana works for. Ana's boss Jack makes very forceful unwanted sexual advances towards her, she tells Christian and he fires him when he takes over the company. It ends at a party at Christian's parents house, where he announces he and Ana are engaged while Jack lurks outside, plotting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: The third book is...honeymoon meow...the boss trying to extract revenge...Ana finally getting through to Christian about how Mrs. Robinson is not really his friend, she's a child molester who took advantage of him and despite all her protests to the contrary actually wants Christian back. Phew, drama! Ana gets preggo, Fifty takes some convincing on the future parent front, for obvious reasons, and evil Jack gets served! They move into a house Fifty designed for them and have another baby. They live happily ever after (whip cracking sound).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Shoot! I forgot the red room of pain, the plane crash, the shooting and the fire!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Clarification: when you say \"Mrs. Robinson\" do you mean the lady from \u003cem>The Graduate\u003c/em> and when you say \"Fifty\" do people actually call him that, like 50 Cent?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Kind of.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: So, on a scale of V.C. Andrews (high) to Stephanie Meyer (low), how trashy is it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: \u003cem>Twilight\u003c/em> wasn't trashy at all, at least not by Harlequin standards: there's really only one descriptive sex scene and it's obviously written by a Mormon. I never read \u003cem>Flowers in the Attic\u003c/em> or other V.C. Andrews books: I was too busy reading trashy predictable Harlequin \"romances\" and actual works of literature. I hope I don't lose my street cred with that admission.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: It's somewhere between later V.C. Andrews and early erotica Anne Rice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Agreed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: As fans, do you think \u003cem>Fifty Shades of Grey\u003c/em> can really be filmed?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Honestly, we will see.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: You could make an okay film with all the non-sexual drama in the book, there's lots of action.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: In actuality the main focus of the book is their relationship, and how it evolves physically and emotionally: physically being the key word. A main point of contention between them is him thinking he needs the BDSM and her struggle to understand/accept that and learn her boundaries, while also pushing his.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Leaving out the sex in the movie version would be like leaving out a number in an equation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: What do you think of the film casting?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: I like it for the most part. I'm happy with the Christian change.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Dornan physically looks more like Christian as described in the books. Luke Grimes as Elliot is perfect: I totally see him as an approachable, laid back, ladies man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: I don't know how I feel about Jennifer Ehle playing Ana's mom Carla: she's Lizzy Bennet to me. My poor brain, \u003cem>Pride and Prejudice\u003c/em> mixing with \u003cem>Fifty Shades\u003c/em>. Jane Austin is harrumphing in Mr. Darcy's grave I bet.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Is there an ideal Christian among you?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: We all agree on Matt Bomer: hair, eyes, body, perfect.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: 2nd place, Ian Somerhalder. He's got the smoldering introspection down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: And an ideal Anastasia?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Dakota Johnson looks more like a Kate: confident, poised, blond and traditionally beautiful, Alexis Bledel would be a better Ana, reserved, unknowingly beautiful, convincingly naive, shy, and a little clumsy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: How much longer do you think I'm going to hear about this? Is it trash for the ages?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: Until something \"better\" comes along. Part of why I think people are so fascinated is you can spend hours debating whether it's a detriment or asset to feminism.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: Honestly: have you been inspired to hit anyone during the act since you read the books?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: No but a good spanking never hurt anyone.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: A little.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Yes, but only in anger and only because he deserved it. I'm kidding. No.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>:If you were going to make a comedy parody who would you cast?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(The following have been agreed upon by all three panelists)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Seth Myers as Fifty\u003cbr>\nTina Fey as Ana\u003cbr>\nAmy Poehler as Kate\u003cbr>\nSkinny Seth Rogan as Elliot Grey\u003cbr>\nZach Galifianakis as Jose\u003cbr>\nSarah Jessica Parker as Mrs Robinson\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>KQED\u003c/strong>: In conclusion, you're all smart, well-balanced ladies with fantastic taste in all other areas. Why do you like this book?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: Besides the mommy porn?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong> Well, forgetting that it's not actually well-written, I like that Christian and Ana struggle, that they have depth and a hint of layers, especially compared with other \"romance\" novel characters. I like men that know themselves and what they want, who take charge, and get things done. It' sexy. And I think a lot of woman feel this way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Because women are problem solvers, who doesn't like a fixer upper in the guise of a grown man who can't be touched and has trust issues? We feel guilty; our feminists fore-mothers are shaming us from the grave. He takes over her life, I can hear them saying, \"he's demanding, over bearing, bossy, stalky and micro-managy,\" which isn't a word, whatever, and he is all those things! And she fights it, and embraces it at the same time. I think women have a similar struggle: we want someone to be that \"into\" us, to consume us, while still keeping our identities. Ana often enjoys relinquishing control to him, like a weight has been lifted. Again, I hear them groaning, threatening to come at me with pitchforks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P3\u003c/strong>: At first glance it's so predictable... attractive, broody, emotionally aloof billionaire whisks hardworking, poor girl off her feet. It's a rescue fantasy, white knight included, what we all secretly wish for and are embarrassed by. I know I'm supposed to be a strong independent woman, but sometimes you just want someone else to pay the bills and make the decisions.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P2\u003c/strong>: Just deal with it Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and shove that down your PANTS Betty Friedan! Sorry, that was too far, where was I... oh yes, here's where the fairytale and \u003cem>Fifty Shades\u003c/em> diverge... Cinderella never got flogged, or spanked, never got silver balls put up her princess parts, never enjoyed getting an A+ in you-know-what jobs 101, and Prince Charming didn't have a bondage room in the castle and a non-disclosure agreement to keep Cinderella from blabbing to the tabloids.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>P1\u003c/strong>: I think \u003cem>Fifty Shades\u003c/em> \"secretly\" lets woman indulge in a fantasy of submission that we are supposed to be embarrassed/repelled/angered by. And while Christian Grey is an extremely exaggerated version of that fantasy, it exists none-the-less.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/9422/explaining-fifty-shades-of-grey-with-our-anonymous-panel-of-experts","authors":["2436"],"categories":["pop_7","pop_51","pop_1041"],"tags":["pop_1329","pop_108","pop_1327","pop_158","pop_1328","pop_1330"],"featImg":"pop_9425","label":"pop"},"pop_9264":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_9264","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"9264","score":null,"sort":[1382459084000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night","title":"Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Got Engaged in SF Last Night","publishDate":1382459084,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9265\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 468px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9265\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-9265 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc.jpg\" alt=\"rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc\" width=\"468\" height=\"468\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc.jpg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-400x400.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-75x75.jpg 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 468px) 100vw, 468px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">EyeOnGlam/Instagram\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Because San Francisco is the most romantic city in the world, and because the Giants aren't going to the World Series this year, Kanye West apparently rented out the ENTIRE ATT&T Park to propose to his GF Kim Kardashian last night. \u003ca href=\"http://www.eonline.com/news/472754/kim-kardashian-kanye-west-engaged-all-the-details-on-the-ring-and-the-romantic-proposal\" target=\"_blank\">According to \u003cem>E! Online\u003c/em>\u003c/a> there were fireworks, the whole family and a 50-piece orchestra playing romantic songs like \u003ca href=\"http://youtu.be/o_1aF54DO60\" target=\"_blank\">\"Young And Beautiful\"\u003c/a> by Lana Del Rey and also \u003ca href=\"http://youtu.be/p_RqWocthcc\" target=\"_blank\">\"Knock You Down\"\u003c/a> by Keri Hilson and Kanye himself (I'm not being sarcastic--I think both those songs are hella romantic). Since their source seems to be Kris Jenner, mom-ager to the whole fam, I believe this story. Also, it was well documented on Instagram.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9266\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 551px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night/att/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9266\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-9266 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att.jpg\" alt=\"att\" width=\"551\" height=\"547\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-400x397.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-75x75.jpg 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 551px) 100vw, 551px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kris Jenner/Instagram\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Mazel tov guys! Love is hard to find and life is hard, even if you are bizillionaires, so I hope this works out. However I do have one marriage tip for you Kim: cancel your reality show. I was once married on a reality TV show and it just encouraged fighting, insanity and drama instead of real sit down talking through our issues.* (*Not true in a TECHNICAL SENSE but I imagine it could be true.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, congrats! May you live happily ever after and may Kim finally get her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9267\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 549px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night/ring/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9267\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-9267\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring.jpg\" alt=\"ring\" width=\"549\" height=\"552\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring.jpg 610w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-400x401.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-75x75.jpg 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 549px) 100vw, 549px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kim Kardashian/Instagram\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Because San Francisco is the most romantic city in the world, and because the Giants aren't going to the World Series this year, Kanye West rented out ATT&T Park to propose to his GF Kim Kardashian last night. ","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1383768337,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":5,"wordCount":228},"headData":{"title":"Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Got Engaged in SF Last Night | KQED","description":"Because San Francisco is the most romantic city in the world, and because the Giants aren't going to the World Series this year, Kanye West rented out ATT&T Park to propose to his GF Kim Kardashian last night. ","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"9264 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=9264","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night/","disqusTitle":"Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Got Engaged in SF Last Night","path":"/pop/9264/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9265\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 468px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9265\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-9265 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc.jpg\" alt=\"rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc\" width=\"468\" height=\"468\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc.jpg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-400x400.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/rs_600x600-131022065048-300-jc-kimkardashian-jc-pregger-ring-jc-75x75.jpg 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 468px) 100vw, 468px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">EyeOnGlam/Instagram\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Because San Francisco is the most romantic city in the world, and because the Giants aren't going to the World Series this year, Kanye West apparently rented out the ENTIRE ATT&T Park to propose to his GF Kim Kardashian last night. \u003ca href=\"http://www.eonline.com/news/472754/kim-kardashian-kanye-west-engaged-all-the-details-on-the-ring-and-the-romantic-proposal\" target=\"_blank\">According to \u003cem>E! Online\u003c/em>\u003c/a> there were fireworks, the whole family and a 50-piece orchestra playing romantic songs like \u003ca href=\"http://youtu.be/o_1aF54DO60\" target=\"_blank\">\"Young And Beautiful\"\u003c/a> by Lana Del Rey and also \u003ca href=\"http://youtu.be/p_RqWocthcc\" target=\"_blank\">\"Knock You Down\"\u003c/a> by Keri Hilson and Kanye himself (I'm not being sarcastic--I think both those songs are hella romantic). Since their source seems to be Kris Jenner, mom-ager to the whole fam, I believe this story. Also, it was well documented on Instagram.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9266\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 551px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night/att/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9266\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-9266 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att.jpg\" alt=\"att\" width=\"551\" height=\"547\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att.jpg 612w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-400x397.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/att-75x75.jpg 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 551px) 100vw, 551px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kris Jenner/Instagram\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>Mazel tov guys! Love is hard to find and life is hard, even if you are bizillionaires, so I hope this works out. However I do have one marriage tip for you Kim: cancel your reality show. I was once married on a reality TV show and it just encouraged fighting, insanity and drama instead of real sit down talking through our issues.* (*Not true in a TECHNICAL SENSE but I imagine it could be true.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, congrats! May you live happily ever after and may Kim finally get her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9267\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 549px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night/ring/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9267\">\u003cimg class=\" wp-image-9267\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring.jpg\" alt=\"ring\" width=\"549\" height=\"552\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring.jpg 610w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-400x401.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/ring-75x75.jpg 75w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 549px) 100vw, 549px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kim Kardashian/Instagram\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/9264/kim-kardashian-and-kanye-west-got-engaged-in-sf-last-night","authors":["2130"],"categories":["pop_7","pop_6"],"tags":["pop_1309","pop_363","pop_282","pop_281","pop_158","pop_2788"],"featImg":"pop_9265","label":"pop"},"pop_9253":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_9253","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"9253","score":null,"sort":[1382446856000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"does-the-nickjess-romance-mean-the-end-of-new-girl","title":"Does the Nick/Jess Romance Mean the End of New Girl?","publishDate":1382446856,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9254\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/does-the-nickjess-romance-mean-the-end-of-new-girl/new-girl-nick-and-jess/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9254\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-9254\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/new-girl-nick-and-jess.png\" alt=\"new-girl-nick-and-jess\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/new-girl-nick-and-jess.png 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/new-girl-nick-and-jess-400x225.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">New Girl on Fox\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Post by contributor Kate Getty\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Scully and Mulder never gave in. And it lasted nine seasons. They toyed with it, hovered around it, dangled it above us, dividing their viewers into two camps: “shippers” (short for relationshippers) and “noromos,” (as in no romance), fighting to keep the sexual tension alive. We wanted to believe. \u003cem>X-Files\u003c/em> creator Cris Carter became a master at embodying that “Are we gonna kiss?” moment episode after episode. He was \u003ca href=\"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04xw5l_gN3c\">edging\u003c/a> before we even had a word for it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it worked. Pleasure delay works. Not just in the bedroom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Season Two, Mr. Sheffield accidentally tells \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nanny\" target=\"_blank\">“The Nanny”\u003c/a> he loves her. But then he (or the writers?) backtrack and wait two more seasons before they give in to the building sexual tension. Then when The Nanny and Mr. Sheffield get hitched, the show gets canned.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then there was \u003cem>Bones\u003c/em>. I used to love \u003cem>Bones\u003c/em>. Bones and Booth danced around the sex since 2005. It was fun. They solved crimes with science and the tension between them was a knife cut away. It built and grew. It had twists. Turns. Just when you thought they’d give in, Bones has a date with someone. Or Booth does. And “Why am I jealous?”starts creeping into the chemistry of the two. It was endearing. Kinda like real life. Kinda like when two friends of yours start realizing they dig each other. And Bones is kinda “on the spectrum” a bit in the way really smart people have trouble getting in touch with their emotions, so it took time. I was watching.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But then, boom. They gave in. Then they didn’t give in anymore. Then they gave in, again (I think?). And now, they are in their ninth season, and Booth just proposed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I stopped watching the first time they gave in. Even though I had started watching for the science and forensics and the cool smart dreams I’d have afterwards, the chemistry between Booth and Bones had become the show, the flirting, that witty banter, the question, always looming. So when the unknown became known, sorry, but that’s when I lost my TV-Boner for \u003cem>Bones\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I bet it will be cancelled next season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a formula. Give in. Get cancelled or worse, become irrelevant. History tells us. Ross and Rachel. Meredith Grey and McDreampie. Pam and Jim. \u003cem>Vampire Diaries\u003c/em>. \u003cem>Castle\u003c/em>. The list goes on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So it makes me wonder, will Bones’ real-life sister, Zooey Deschanel meet the same fate for her date? Will \u003cem>New Girl\u003c/em>, a show that has surprised everyone (or at least everyone in my friend group who used to make fun of me for liking it and now likes it) start to suck now that they’ve given in to the whole Jess and Nick sexual tension?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’ve always loved \u003cem>New Girl\u003c/em>. Even when people just wanted Zooey and her bangs and tiny guitar to go away, I still loved it. I loved her nerdy awkward girl schtick. I loved the crafty intro. Hand-made! I loved the guys. I thought, now here’s a show that has chemistry. Everybody has chemistry. All over the place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And stuck in the middle of all the clever banter of roommates with quick wits living interesting idealized hipster city lives, there was Nick and Jess. Roommates with this undercurrent. This question was always there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Are they going to? Do they want it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it tantalized. For two seasons. They toyed with us. The carrot dangled. The dance continued. The jealousy mounted. The dates they kept having kept failing, and we never rooted for any of them, realizing, somewhere inside of us, we were always rooting for this, and there they were Nick and Jess, kissing, on the screen, for a dare, I think.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now we are four episodes into the third season, and Nick and Jess are full-on dating. Roommates still, but giggling through walls, talking about feelings, milestones like “first month,” and we’re watching Nick work harder than he has at just about anything in the whole time we’ve “known” him. So we are still watching.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But ratings \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_New_Girl_episodes\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>are \u003c/em>slightly\u003cem> \u003c/em>down\u003c/a>. So, I guess, less of us are watching.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes. Nick and Jess are a couple now. But they’ve got other roomies, too. Max Greenfield and Lamorne Morris (Schmidt and Winston respectively) add to the loft’s dynamic with a caffeinated, hyper-active almost-insanity. Like when Winston does a puzzle for an entire episode before realizing he’s colorblind or tries to get his cat (a cat he steals from his cheating girlfriend) to have sex before it loses its balls or when Schmidt somehow has two “girlfriends” at one office party without being caught.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s the banter. Conversation written like people actually have conversations, only if we were smarter and quicker hyperbolic versions of ourselves, backed by a room full of baseball caps trying to outsmart one another. \u003cem>New Girl\u003c/em>'s conversations are like \u003cem>Seinfeld\u003c/em>. They don’t go anywhere really, but that was its success, highlighting the fact that real life, we don’t talk about anything and like in real life, friends dating wouldn’t be the only thing going on in your life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But still, it’s scary to give in so early in a series. They could have drawn out the blue-balls for another season at least. So I’ll it’s brave. (And they aren’t taking it \u003ca href=\"http://www.eonline.com/news/462721/new-girl-sneak-peek-what-the-writers-are-doing-with-nick-and-jess\">lightly\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I’m not saying anything new. Everyone knows the curse. Viewers are fully aware. Give in to the protagonist sexual tension release, and where do we go from here?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’ll see. Tonight, in the sixth episode, and at judgment day, when the real test comes. When producers and viewers decide, will they come back for a fourth season?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.fox.com/new-girl/\" target=\"_blank\">Watch \u003cem>New Girl\u003c/em> on Fox Tuesday's at 9pm.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Is giving in to on-screen romance always mean the end of a show?","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1382466859,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":25,"wordCount":1038},"headData":{"title":"Does the Nick/Jess Romance Mean the End of New Girl? | KQED","description":"Is giving in to on-screen romance always mean the end of a show?","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"9253 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=9253","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/does-the-nickjess-romance-mean-the-end-of-new-girl/","disqusTitle":"Does the Nick/Jess Romance Mean the End of New Girl?","path":"/pop/9253/does-the-nickjess-romance-mean-the-end-of-new-girl","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_9254\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 640px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/10/22/does-the-nickjess-romance-mean-the-end-of-new-girl/new-girl-nick-and-jess/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-9254\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-9254\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/new-girl-nick-and-jess.png\" alt=\"new-girl-nick-and-jess\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/new-girl-nick-and-jess.png 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/10/new-girl-nick-and-jess-400x225.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">New Girl on Fox\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Post by contributor Kate Getty\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Scully and Mulder never gave in. And it lasted nine seasons. They toyed with it, hovered around it, dangled it above us, dividing their viewers into two camps: “shippers” (short for relationshippers) and “noromos,” (as in no romance), fighting to keep the sexual tension alive. We wanted to believe. \u003cem>X-Files\u003c/em> creator Cris Carter became a master at embodying that “Are we gonna kiss?” moment episode after episode. He was \u003ca href=\"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04xw5l_gN3c\">edging\u003c/a> before we even had a word for it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it worked. Pleasure delay works. Not just in the bedroom.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Season Two, Mr. Sheffield accidentally tells \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nanny\" target=\"_blank\">“The Nanny”\u003c/a> he loves her. But then he (or the writers?) backtrack and wait two more seasons before they give in to the building sexual tension. Then when The Nanny and Mr. Sheffield get hitched, the show gets canned.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then there was \u003cem>Bones\u003c/em>. I used to love \u003cem>Bones\u003c/em>. Bones and Booth danced around the sex since 2005. It was fun. They solved crimes with science and the tension between them was a knife cut away. It built and grew. It had twists. Turns. Just when you thought they’d give in, Bones has a date with someone. Or Booth does. And “Why am I jealous?”starts creeping into the chemistry of the two. It was endearing. Kinda like real life. Kinda like when two friends of yours start realizing they dig each other. And Bones is kinda “on the spectrum” a bit in the way really smart people have trouble getting in touch with their emotions, so it took time. I was watching.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But then, boom. They gave in. Then they didn’t give in anymore. Then they gave in, again (I think?). And now, they are in their ninth season, and Booth just proposed.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But I stopped watching the first time they gave in. Even though I had started watching for the science and forensics and the cool smart dreams I’d have afterwards, the chemistry between Booth and Bones had become the show, the flirting, that witty banter, the question, always looming. So when the unknown became known, sorry, but that’s when I lost my TV-Boner for \u003cem>Bones\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And I bet it will be cancelled next season.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s a formula. Give in. Get cancelled or worse, become irrelevant. History tells us. Ross and Rachel. Meredith Grey and McDreampie. Pam and Jim. \u003cem>Vampire Diaries\u003c/em>. \u003cem>Castle\u003c/em>. The list goes on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So it makes me wonder, will Bones’ real-life sister, Zooey Deschanel meet the same fate for her date? Will \u003cem>New Girl\u003c/em>, a show that has surprised everyone (or at least everyone in my friend group who used to make fun of me for liking it and now likes it) start to suck now that they’ve given in to the whole Jess and Nick sexual tension?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I’ve always loved \u003cem>New Girl\u003c/em>. Even when people just wanted Zooey and her bangs and tiny guitar to go away, I still loved it. I loved her nerdy awkward girl schtick. I loved the crafty intro. Hand-made! I loved the guys. I thought, now here’s a show that has chemistry. Everybody has chemistry. All over the place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And stuck in the middle of all the clever banter of roommates with quick wits living interesting idealized hipster city lives, there was Nick and Jess. Roommates with this undercurrent. This question was always there.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Are they going to? Do they want it?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And it tantalized. For two seasons. They toyed with us. The carrot dangled. The dance continued. The jealousy mounted. The dates they kept having kept failing, and we never rooted for any of them, realizing, somewhere inside of us, we were always rooting for this, and there they were Nick and Jess, kissing, on the screen, for a dare, I think.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now we are four episodes into the third season, and Nick and Jess are full-on dating. Roommates still, but giggling through walls, talking about feelings, milestones like “first month,” and we’re watching Nick work harder than he has at just about anything in the whole time we’ve “known” him. So we are still watching.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But ratings \u003ca href=\"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_New_Girl_episodes\" target=\"_blank\">\u003cem>are \u003c/em>slightly\u003cem> \u003c/em>down\u003c/a>. So, I guess, less of us are watching.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes. Nick and Jess are a couple now. But they’ve got other roomies, too. Max Greenfield and Lamorne Morris (Schmidt and Winston respectively) add to the loft’s dynamic with a caffeinated, hyper-active almost-insanity. Like when Winston does a puzzle for an entire episode before realizing he’s colorblind or tries to get his cat (a cat he steals from his cheating girlfriend) to have sex before it loses its balls or when Schmidt somehow has two “girlfriends” at one office party without being caught.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It’s the banter. Conversation written like people actually have conversations, only if we were smarter and quicker hyperbolic versions of ourselves, backed by a room full of baseball caps trying to outsmart one another. \u003cem>New Girl\u003c/em>'s conversations are like \u003cem>Seinfeld\u003c/em>. They don’t go anywhere really, but that was its success, highlighting the fact that real life, we don’t talk about anything and like in real life, friends dating wouldn’t be the only thing going on in your life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But still, it’s scary to give in so early in a series. They could have drawn out the blue-balls for another season at least. So I’ll it’s brave. (And they aren’t taking it \u003ca href=\"http://www.eonline.com/news/462721/new-girl-sneak-peek-what-the-writers-are-doing-with-nick-and-jess\">lightly\u003c/a>.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So I’m not saying anything new. Everyone knows the curse. Viewers are fully aware. Give in to the protagonist sexual tension release, and where do we go from here?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We’ll see. Tonight, in the sixth episode, and at judgment day, when the real test comes. When producers and viewers decide, will they come back for a fourth season?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://www.fox.com/new-girl/\" target=\"_blank\">Watch \u003cem>New Girl\u003c/em> on Fox Tuesday's at 9pm.\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/9253/does-the-nickjess-romance-mean-the-end-of-new-girl","authors":["2421"],"categories":["pop_3","pop_1041"],"tags":["pop_70","pop_158"],"featImg":"pop_9254","label":"pop"},"pop_7116":{"type":"posts","id":"pop_7116","meta":{"index":"posts_1591205157","site":"pop","id":"7116","score":null,"sort":[1375724006000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"googling-former-flames-a-detective-story","title":"Googling Former Flames: A Detective Story","publishDate":1375724006,"format":"aside","headTitle":"KQED Pop | KQED Arts","labelTerm":{"site":"pop"},"content":"\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/05/googling-former-flames-a-detective-story/photo-13/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7266\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7266\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/photo-13-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"photo (13)\" width=\"524\" height=\"524\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They're so easy to find and naturally we're tempted; our former loves, crushes, flames and almost-flames, the ones who got away. They all live inside the Internet, some of them basking in the fluorescent light, some hiding in the darkest, most irretrievable corners, but all leaving a string of clues behind them. Perhaps we seek them out due to our curiosity, our romantic tendencies, our desire for closure, or our desire to remain however ephemerally connected. Maybe it’s just a dabble, or a more intense search. Maybe it's late and we’re bored or we’ve had a glass of wine and one click leads to another. Maybe we used to feel one very specific way about them and wonder if we still might. It’s a singularly contemporary detective story, this searching. Once we liked them enough to cook them dinner, cry when we parted at train stations, tell them our deepest secrets, ask them to carry our lipstick in their jacket pocket at parties. Once they showed up at our door with a song they'd written us recorded onto cassette. But now, these years later, they're traveling to other continents with people who aren't us and singing karaoke in the middle of the afternoon. We want to know if they'll look good with gray hair, if they'll have babies, if they'll go crazy. And now we can.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7257\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 280px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/05/googling-former-flames-a-detective-story/photo-1-5/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7257\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-7257 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/photo-1.png\" alt=\"photo (1)\" width=\"280\" height=\"419\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/photo-1.png 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/photo-1-400x600.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 280px) 100vw, 280px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Former flame seems different at a distance.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tier 1: They’re easy to find with minimal clues.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is usually because they do something relatively high profile like star in TV commercials or make really cool music videos. They’re in semi-famous rock bands. Their esoteric lectures can be found on YouTube videos. Or they’re NYC curators who bring up a highly satisfying image search of them attending many an art party wearing a tie tucked into their sweater. They live in Mexico, Ohio, Los Angeles and London. They occasionally have traditional occupations, but it's more likely they work in digital innovation, whatever that is. They’re hipsters with homes fashionable and curated enough to appear in lifestyle blogs and subsequent lifestyle blog books that sell at Urban Outfitters. They have personal websites where they’ve misspelled something and have questionable grammar or incomprehensible artist statements. They model in NYLON. They've published poetry chapbooks, with poems that are actually pretty good, kind of visceral, with a lot of switchblade imagery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tier 2:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>They’re more difficult to find, mostly only accessible through social media, and mostly only when there are still friends in common.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is usually because they've not gone the rock star/curator/commercial actor/poet/digital innovator route. Instead they’re happily married, have children, and a tendency to purchase their own homes. They’re often in law school (there's a high likelihood of this), or perhaps a neurosurgeon. They’ve gained weight or stayed basically the same. They've been known to be a failed actress, criminal, or someone who took over the family business. They live in Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston and upstate New York. They're earning a PhD. They already earned a PhD and are teaching somewhere, living a life that seems comfortable. They pilot airplanes, or write plays. Some are divorced, which is terribly grown-up. Their favorite song last year was our favorite song last year. That seems sort of nice. Their Instagram feed indicates a more stable lifestyle than when we knew them. Often the photo of them standing happily somewhere with a small child who looks like them is strange in some discomfiting way because we mostly remember the time they threw us on the ground outside of the dorms and kissed us. Even though they've published some stories all that comes up other than those is an image of them in a wooded grove posing seductively with a woman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tier 3: They're impossible to find.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They have common names and/or no social media presence. Searches for their name bring up men on boats who died in the 1800s. They moved to Alaska and have only been known to communicate through the postal service. They have a drinking problem and are a bit older which might explain the lack of online life. They build furniture. It must be something about the tangible qualities of this pursuit, but they're nowhere. There are rumors about them for years, spread through mutual friends. They had some kind of manic episode. They went in search of treasure. They fell off the grid. They went to jail. They moved to the desert to build a recording studio. Some of them turn up from time to time and can never quite compete with the inherent power in the mysterious years they were absent. Some never appear.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7273\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage-romance\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7273\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-7273\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_lurkwkgbJh1r2wtyho1_400.jpg\" alt=\"tumblr_lurkwkgbJh1r2wtyho1_400\" width=\"400\" height=\"320\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image via Tumblr.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Findings: \u003c/strong>So what now? Are we satisfied somehow? Maybe we really don't want to know. \u003cem>Knowing\u003c/em> someone seems a bit more complicated these days. Sometimes being just a little bit close is worse than being far apart. Perhaps we’re disappointed by what we find. We hoped they'd be as we remember them. Or they are as we remember, just an unfamiliar desert behind them in the photo. Or we see them and they're a stranger. We don't remember loving them at all. That's not entirely comforting either. When we see them in real life, we hide. Finding them is a puzzle, a detective game. The act of typing someone's name into Google is not entirely real. We don't look for the ones we really loved. Just a small half-clue, just that photo in the woods, only heightens the unknowing in some way. Really, we're happy for them. We thought we might have something to ask them, or say, but we don't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My grandmother once said she kept expecting to see an ex-boyfriend around, but never did. Today we can see a handful of ours at any given moment if we really want to. The affair continues in this strange space, where one sees but is not seen, back and forth, intermittently until someone stops following the clues or disappears into Tier 3. It's interesting that, despite geography or time or the simple fact that it would be too painful or boring or unnecessary to talk to the person again face to face, we never really lose someone. Instead they echo in a sort of way, not just through memory but through layers of wire and screen and the words we type to find them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The same way we sometimes wish we could Google, \"What did I dream last night?\" or, \"Where did I put my book?\" we actually can Google, \"Name of Ex-Flame,\" and more often than not, there they are. Gardening. Singing. Traveling. Being interviewed. Tweeting. Looking happy. Starring in a documentary. Attending a picnic. Embracing a beautiful woman wearing feathers in her hair. Existing in time and space, one way or another. Probably a lot like they once were and a little bit different too in some important, unknowable ways. Just like we are.\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"We want to know if our old loves will look good with gray hair, if they'll have babies, if they'll go crazy. And now we can. We Google them.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1382053830,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":12,"wordCount":1222},"headData":{"title":"Googling Former Flames: A Detective Story | KQED","description":"We want to know if our old loves will look good with gray hair, if they'll have babies, if they'll go crazy. And now we can. We Google them.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":""},"disqusIdentifier":"7116 http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/?p=7116","disqusUrl":"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/05/googling-former-flames-a-detective-story/","disqusTitle":"Googling Former Flames: A Detective Story","path":"/pop/7116/googling-former-flames-a-detective-story","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/05/googling-former-flames-a-detective-story/photo-13/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7266\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-7266\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/photo-13-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"photo (13)\" width=\"524\" height=\"524\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They're so easy to find and naturally we're tempted; our former loves, crushes, flames and almost-flames, the ones who got away. They all live inside the Internet, some of them basking in the fluorescent light, some hiding in the darkest, most irretrievable corners, but all leaving a string of clues behind them. Perhaps we seek them out due to our curiosity, our romantic tendencies, our desire for closure, or our desire to remain however ephemerally connected. Maybe it’s just a dabble, or a more intense search. Maybe it's late and we’re bored or we’ve had a glass of wine and one click leads to another. Maybe we used to feel one very specific way about them and wonder if we still might. It’s a singularly contemporary detective story, this searching. Once we liked them enough to cook them dinner, cry when we parted at train stations, tell them our deepest secrets, ask them to carry our lipstick in their jacket pocket at parties. Once they showed up at our door with a song they'd written us recorded onto cassette. But now, these years later, they're traveling to other continents with people who aren't us and singing karaoke in the middle of the afternoon. We want to know if they'll look good with gray hair, if they'll have babies, if they'll go crazy. And now we can.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7257\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\" style=\"max-width: 280px\">\u003ca href=\"http://blogs.kqed.org/pop/2013/08/05/googling-former-flames-a-detective-story/photo-1-5/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7257\">\u003cimg class=\"wp-image-7257 \" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/photo-1.png\" alt=\"photo (1)\" width=\"280\" height=\"419\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/photo-1.png 640w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/photo-1-400x600.png 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 280px) 100vw, 280px\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Former flame seems different at a distance.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tier 1: They’re easy to find with minimal clues.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is usually because they do something relatively high profile like star in TV commercials or make really cool music videos. They’re in semi-famous rock bands. Their esoteric lectures can be found on YouTube videos. Or they’re NYC curators who bring up a highly satisfying image search of them attending many an art party wearing a tie tucked into their sweater. They live in Mexico, Ohio, Los Angeles and London. They occasionally have traditional occupations, but it's more likely they work in digital innovation, whatever that is. They’re hipsters with homes fashionable and curated enough to appear in lifestyle blogs and subsequent lifestyle blog books that sell at Urban Outfitters. They have personal websites where they’ve misspelled something and have questionable grammar or incomprehensible artist statements. They model in NYLON. They've published poetry chapbooks, with poems that are actually pretty good, kind of visceral, with a lot of switchblade imagery.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tier 2:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>They’re more difficult to find, mostly only accessible through social media, and mostly only when there are still friends in common.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is usually because they've not gone the rock star/curator/commercial actor/poet/digital innovator route. Instead they’re happily married, have children, and a tendency to purchase their own homes. They’re often in law school (there's a high likelihood of this), or perhaps a neurosurgeon. They’ve gained weight or stayed basically the same. They've been known to be a failed actress, criminal, or someone who took over the family business. They live in Chicago, Philadelphia, Boston and upstate New York. They're earning a PhD. They already earned a PhD and are teaching somewhere, living a life that seems comfortable. They pilot airplanes, or write plays. Some are divorced, which is terribly grown-up. Their favorite song last year was our favorite song last year. That seems sort of nice. Their Instagram feed indicates a more stable lifestyle than when we knew them. Often the photo of them standing happily somewhere with a small child who looks like them is strange in some discomfiting way because we mostly remember the time they threw us on the ground outside of the dorms and kissed us. Even though they've published some stories all that comes up other than those is an image of them in a wooded grove posing seductively with a woman.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Tier 3: They're impossible to find.\u003c/strong>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They have common names and/or no social media presence. Searches for their name bring up men on boats who died in the 1800s. They moved to Alaska and have only been known to communicate through the postal service. They have a drinking problem and are a bit older which might explain the lack of online life. They build furniture. It must be something about the tangible qualities of this pursuit, but they're nowhere. There are rumors about them for years, spread through mutual friends. They had some kind of manic episode. They went in search of treasure. They fell off the grid. They went to jail. They moved to the desert to build a recording studio. Some of them turn up from time to time and can never quite compete with the inherent power in the mysterious years they were absent. Some never appear.\u003c/p>\n\u003cfigure id=\"attachment_7273\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"max-width: 400px\">\u003ca href=\"http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/vintage-romance\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-7273\">\u003cimg class=\"size-full wp-image-7273\" src=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_lurkwkgbJh1r2wtyho1_400.jpg\" alt=\"tumblr_lurkwkgbJh1r2wtyho1_400\" width=\"400\" height=\"320\">\u003c/a>\u003cfigcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\">Image via Tumblr.\u003c/figcaption>\u003c/figure>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Findings: \u003c/strong>So what now? Are we satisfied somehow? Maybe we really don't want to know. \u003cem>Knowing\u003c/em> someone seems a bit more complicated these days. Sometimes being just a little bit close is worse than being far apart. Perhaps we’re disappointed by what we find. We hoped they'd be as we remember them. Or they are as we remember, just an unfamiliar desert behind them in the photo. Or we see them and they're a stranger. We don't remember loving them at all. That's not entirely comforting either. When we see them in real life, we hide. Finding them is a puzzle, a detective game. The act of typing someone's name into Google is not entirely real. We don't look for the ones we really loved. Just a small half-clue, just that photo in the woods, only heightens the unknowing in some way. Really, we're happy for them. We thought we might have something to ask them, or say, but we don't.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My grandmother once said she kept expecting to see an ex-boyfriend around, but never did. Today we can see a handful of ours at any given moment if we really want to. The affair continues in this strange space, where one sees but is not seen, back and forth, intermittently until someone stops following the clues or disappears into Tier 3. It's interesting that, despite geography or time or the simple fact that it would be too painful or boring or unnecessary to talk to the person again face to face, we never really lose someone. Instead they echo in a sort of way, not just through memory but through layers of wire and screen and the words we type to find them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The same way we sometimes wish we could Google, \"What did I dream last night?\" or, \"Where did I put my book?\" we actually can Google, \"Name of Ex-Flame,\" and more often than not, there they are. Gardening. Singing. Traveling. Being interviewed. Tweeting. Looking happy. Starring in a documentary. Attending a picnic. Embracing a beautiful woman wearing feathers in her hair. Existing in time and space, one way or another. Probably a lot like they once were and a little bit different too in some important, unknowable ways. Just like we are.\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/pop/7116/googling-former-flames-a-detective-story","authors":["2415"],"categories":["pop_1155","pop_5","pop_1041"],"tags":["pop_157","pop_158"],"featImg":"pop_7329","label":"pop"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. Michel Martin hosts on the weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 1pm-2pm, 4:30pm-6:30pm\u003cbr />SAT-SUN 5pm-6pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/All-Things-Considered-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/all-things-considered/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/all-things-considered"},"american-suburb-podcast":{"id":"american-suburb-podcast","title":"American Suburb: The Podcast","tagline":"The flip side of gentrification, told through one town","info":"Gentrification is changing cities across America, forcing people from neighborhoods they have long called home. Call them the displaced. Now those priced out of the Bay Area are looking for a better life in an unlikely place. American Suburb follows this migration to one California town along the Delta, 45 miles from San Francisco. But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/American-Suburb-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Bay-Curious-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Code-Switch-Life-Kit-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.","airtime":"THU 10pm, FRI 1am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.commonwealthclub.org/podcasts","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Commonwealth Club of California"},"link":"/radio/program/commonwealth-club","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/commonwealth-club-of-california-podcast/id976334034?mt=2","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Commonwealth-Club-of-California-p1060/"}},"considerthis":{"id":"considerthis","title":"Consider This","tagline":"Make sense of the day","info":"Make sense of the day. Every weekday afternoon, Consider This helps you consider the major stories of the day in less than 15 minutes, featuring the reporting and storytelling resources of NPR. Plus, KQED’s Bianca Taylor brings you the local KQED news you need to know.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Consider-This-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"Consider This from NPR and KQED","officialWebsiteLink":"/podcasts/considerthis","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"7"},"link":"/podcasts/considerthis","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1503226625?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/coronavirusdaily","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM1NS9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbA","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3Z6JdCS2d0eFEpXHKI6WqH"}},"forum":{"id":"forum","title":"Forum","tagline":"The conversation starts here","info":"KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal","officialWebsiteLink":"/forum","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"8"},"link":"/forum","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kqeds-forum/id73329719","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/432307980/forum","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqedfm-kqeds-forum-podcast","rss":"https://feeds.megaphone.fm/KQINC9557381633"}},"freakonomics-radio":{"id":"freakonomics-radio","title":"Freakonomics Radio","info":"Freakonomics Radio is a one-hour award-winning podcast and public-radio project hosted by Stephen Dubner, with co-author Steve Levitt as a regular guest. It is produced in partnership with WNYC.","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/wp-content/uploads/sites/10/2018/05/freakonomicsRadio.png","officialWebsiteLink":"http://freakonomics.com/","airtime":"SUN 1am-2am, SAT 3pm-4pm","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"WNYC"},"link":"/radio/program/freakonomics-radio","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/4s8b","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/freakonomics-radio/id354668519","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/podcasts/WNYC-Podcasts/Freakonomics-Radio-p272293/","rss":"https://feeds.feedburner.com/freakonomicsradio"}},"fresh-air":{"id":"fresh-air","title":"Fresh Air","info":"Hosted by Terry Gross, \u003cem>Fresh Air from WHYY\u003c/em> is the Peabody Award-winning weekday magazine of contemporary arts and issues. 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