Gattica (1997)

In this future eugenics-obsessed society, it’s not just who you are, but how you’re made. Unfortunately for Ethan’s character Vincent, he’s all natural, 100% unadulterated human; his parents had him the old fashioned way. This fact limits him in numerous ways: he’s more prone to disease, has a life expectancy of only 30.2 years, is prohibited from pursuing his dream of becoming an astronaut, and is considered an “invalid.” Cunning as he his, Vincent assumes the identity of Eugene Morrow, a genetically perfect “valid,” who’s a champion swimmer and all around good guy, becomes Gattica’s top celestial navigator, and falls in love with Irene, a “valid” who feels inferior. Ethan taught her (and me) that genetics do not make the man (or woman); it’s who you are, not how you’re made. He also showed me that remaining true to yourself is paramount, no matter what society’s norms dictate, and a man who is confident in his talents and abilities will absolutely not be stopped. Even in the face of judgement or danger, a strong-willed man will do anything it takes to achieve his goals. I also learned that there is nothing sexier than a man fighting against the system for what he believes.

Before Sunrise (1995)

The plot is too romantically perfect: a pair of college-age strangers meet on a Eurail train by happenstance. He’s a babe, she’s a babe, it's all systems go. When the train pulls into Vienna, the two decide to disembark together and go for a 24-hour no-holds-barred Viennese adventure. They know their time together is limited, but they decide to throw caution to the wind and go for it anyways. They open up to one another, the way you can only do when you are instantly madly in love but also know you may never see the other person again. They discuss, life, love, and what got them both on that train and eventually (it is implied) they get to know each other biblically. The idea that two strangers would meet accidentally and then decide to explore the relationship anyway despite logic or what will happen later is intoxicating, especially to a impressionable, starry-eyed girl. Ethan taught me that spontaneity in boys is underrated, way underrated. It’s the men who take risks and carpe diem, as it were, who are the most captivating. I finally recognized the beautiful glory of a handsome man who acts like a true gentleman and that chivalry, the act of not coming on too strong, being courteous, respectful, and generally not a total jerk, is not dead. I also learned that a man’s genuine kindness and curiosity are gifts that should not be overlooked or dismissed but devoured, cherished and repaid accordingly.

Reality Bites (1994)

This quintessential Gen X romantic comedy-drama brings us young Ethan Hawke as Troy Dyer, a coffee shop guitarist with no real direction in life. Troy’s brooding, sarcastic, pessimism rings out like an anthem for all the disaffected '90s youth. He’s a handsome underachiever hopelessly in love with his ambitious, unpretentious best friend Lelaina. Though Troy may not fully recognize his own self-worth, he sees greatness in Lelaina and does everything he can to encourage it. He’s young and full of fire, just what every girl wants (well, what this girl thinks she wants, anyways). Ethan taught me that when a guy gives you a really hard time it is probably because he likes you...probably a lot. It’s what my dad refers to as “pulling your pigtails.” I also learned that a quality man isn’t intimidated by a strong female and that often our greatest loves are born from our best friendships. But perhaps most importantly, Ethan taught me that a sexy haircut and aloof attitude (with just the right amount of sweetness in his smirk) is a one-way ticket to my heart. Swoon.

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What Ethan Hawke Movies Taught Me About Boys