Splash: A Reality Show About Jumping Off the High Dive

| February 26, 2013
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As far as I can tell, television producers in England are constantly playing a game called: “What is the most ridiculous thing we can get Americans to watch?” It’s sort of a long-con because first a show has to gain popularity in England (or “gain popularity”) and then some producer here has to be like, “Have you seen that ground-breaking show X over in England? So new! So fresh! We should bring that over here!”

Britain’s television people have studied our habits and so they know that by occasionally throwing in an actual GOOD show for us to copy (The Office or Sherlock for example), we will be extra susceptible to their more blatantly ridiculous efforts (Big Brother or Pop Idol). (They also understand that it is in American television’s nature to destroy even great shows like The Office so giving us those really just helps play into their Pinky and the Brain-type scheme to takeover the world through terrible American television.)

It seems though that the British are getting sloppy. Their newest project, Splash, is so obviously a joke on us that it seems like they aren’t even trying anymore. The premise is: super D list celebrities DIVE OFF A HIGH DIVE. And yes, that is scary. And yes, that is hard. But an entire SERIES about it? There has to be something darker at play here. Anyway, I know you are going to watch it. I know I am going to watch it. But just remember, when you are zombied-out in front of your TVs on Tuesdays at 8pm and British commandos sneak in and steal your babies, I told you this was going to happen.

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About the Author ()

Lizzy Acker’s work has been published in Nano Fiction, Fanzine, Joyland, Eleven Eleven and elsewhere. She has read with Bang Out, RADAR, Quiet Lightening and others. Her first book, Monster Party, was released in December of 2010 by Small Desk Press.

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