Preparing Christmas dinner is already stressful, especially if you're cooking for a houseful of hungry holiday guests. If you add a gluten allergy to an already intimidating situation, it's enough to put a well-meaning home cook over the edge!

Take heart, dear reader. Cooking a gluten-free Christmas dinner is not difficult at all. With a few recipes and cooking tips in your arsenal, you can easily feed everyone at the table an impressive meal without sending your gluten-y guests running for the door.

Hors D'oeuvres
Gluten-free hors d'oeuvres are probably the easiest part of the meal. A platter full of fresh veggies with ranch dressing is always a hit, as is a plate with sliced cheese and Kalamata olives. Traditional baguettes with olive oil and balsamic are out, but your local gluten-free bakery may carry gluten-free French bread -- call to find out.

While veggies and cheese are great, what if you want to spruce up your early dishes with something special? Here are a few recipes that will liven up your pre-meal game.

• Smoked Paprika Almonds
• Fig Tapenade with Walnut Crackers
• Butter-toasted Hazelnut
• Crab Spread
• Turkey Meatballs with Cranberry Sauce
• Baked Brie

Sides
Side dishes are another easy part of a gluten-free holiday dinner. Stick to vegetable-based recipes and you'll find a lot of dishes that are gluten-free by default, requiring no doctoring or wheat analogues. If you really want to make something that involves bread crumbs or a crust, your local natural foods store will carry a selection of gluten-free options. For something more original, check out these wonderful sides by some of the internet's best gluten-free cooks.

• Green Bean Casserole
• Tassajara Warm Red Cabbage Salad
• Broccolini with Brown Butter and Cashews
• Pumpkin Potato Gratin & Mushroom Swiss Chard
• Wild Rice and Mushroom Bake Recipe
• And what's dinner without gluten-free dinner rolls?

Entrees
Christmas foods in the United States are much more free-form than traditional Thanksgiving fare, but a lot of folks still love their turkey or ham for dinner. Try thinking outside of the box when planning your holiday entree, taking a cue from these recipes.

• Make-Ahead Gravy
• Roasting the Perfect Turkey
• Corn and Bean Casserole
• Apricot Turkey
• Gluten-Free Coconut Chicken with Sunbutter Sauce
• Tiny Turkey Meatballs Atop Penne and Escarole
• CrockPot Maple Ham Recipe
• Are you a Honeybaked Ham lover? Then you're in luck, because the company's signature sweetened, cured ham is now gluten-free!

Dessert
For many, the best part of dinner comes after all the savory plates have been cleared. Many folks get tripped up when it comes to preparing gluten-free desserts, since baking with wheat flour is what we've all come to accept as the norm for American sweets. The following recipes are all gluten-free, but more importantly, they're incredible desserts that everyone at your table will love.

• Buy goodies from a gluten-free bakery
• Salted Caramel Hot Cocoa
• Gluten-Free Toffee Pecan Apple Streusel
• Make gluten-free gingerbread cookies
• Down Under Pavlova
• Pumpkin Pie
• Double Chocolate Mocha Cookies

Merry Christmas, everyone! I wish you all a drama and stress-free holiday dinner.

Gingerbread cookies are one of my favorite parts of the holiday season. I haven't made Christmas cookies since discovering I had a gluten sensitivity, a sad, sad situation that many gluten-free folks experience. Learning a new kind of baking is scary, and all it takes is one flop to make sure you never make another attempt.

For me, I just never tried. I figured I could never compete with my grandma's gingerbread recipe that I grew up with, and the idea of duplicating her perfectly tender recipe without using wheat flour threw me for a loop. This year, I got over myself. And guess what? The gingerbread cookies I made were nothing short of incredible.

There's a trick to working with gluten-free dough, since it's much stickier than doughs made with wheat flour. It needs to be kept chilled, and once it's been cut with cookie cutters, moving it from one place to another is nearly impossible because it likes to hang onto to everything it touches. The best way to work with gluten-free cookie doughs is to roll it out between two pieces of parchment and then stick it in the fridge for 30 minutes. Once it's chilled, you can cut out your shapes with cookie cutters.

At this point I recommend removing the excess dough to be re-rolled, and then cutting the parchment around the cookies with a pair of scissors. The cookies can then be moved without contorting into ridiculous shapes, and since they're on parchment, they won't stick to the cookie sheet after they're done baking. Once they're done, I move the baked cookies while they're still secured to the parchment, leaving them on the paper until they're completely cooled and not likely to break into pieces.

Also, I found the funniest cookie cutters I've seen in a long time: Fred & Friends Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters. While you can buy them online, I got my ninjabread men at a local East Bay gift shop called Nathan & Co. This little shop carries a huge array of culinary gifts, and if you're looking for some last minute presents for the foodie in your life, I can't recommend this place enough. Another place to shop for gifts for the chef in your family is Urban Indigo, in Oakland.

Gluten-Free Gingerbread Cookies

Makes: About 2 dozen 3-inch cookies

Ingredients:
1/2 cup non-hydrogenated shortening
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
1/8 teaspoon guar gum
2 egg yolks
1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/3 cup blackstrap molasses
1 1/2 cups gluten-free flour mix
1/2 cup + 2 tablespoons sweet rice flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon salt
Icing and sprinkles for decorating

Recipe method:

1. With a stand mixer or electric hand beater, beat shortening, sugar, xanthan gum, and guar gum until well mixed. Add in egg yolks and beat for 1 minute, then add vanilla and molasses and mix until well incorporated.

2. Add gluten-free flour mix, sweet rice flour, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, allspice, and salt. Beat until you've got a smooth dough. Roll dough out between two pieces of parchment until it is 1/2-inch thick and refrigerate for 1 hour.

3. Remove dough from fridge and cut with cookie cutters. Remove the excess dough from between the shapes and cut the parchment around the cookies with a pair of scissors. Gently move the cookies with their attached parchment to a cookie sheet and place the baking sheet in the refrigerator to keep the cookies chilled. Repeat until you've used up all the dough.

4. Once all the dough has been cut with cookie cutters and the shapes are arranged on a baking sheet, place the baking sheets in the refrigerator for 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 350° while they are chilling.

5. Bake cookies for 7 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool on pan for 5 minutes before moving the cookies, with their attached piece of parchment, to a cooling rack. Allow to cool fully before decorating.

6. Decorate cookies by piping with your favorite decorating icing and then sprinkling with colorful sprinkles. The sky's the limit!

Looking for more gluten-free holiday cookies?
Gluten-Free Linzer Cookies
Gluten Free Gingerbread House
Gluten-Free Christmas Stars
Last-Minute Christmas Treats – Toffee and Ginger Chip Teff Cookies

December is just about here, which means that bakeries are beginning to roll out their annual holiday treats. Those of us with a gluten allergy don't have to sit idly by, watching as our friends and loved ones enjoy a bevy of baked goods -- we live in the Bay Area, where gluten-free bakeries are popping up in many major cities (along with pizza places!).

Take, for example, Zest Bakery, an independent shop that recently opened in San Carlos. Located right off of Laurel Avenue, this cheerful bakery was opened by Patrick Luke and Charissa Fleischer, two sweets-loving newlyweds. A true family affair, Zest also features gluten-free mini-cheesecakes made by Charissa's sister, Cynthia, the mastermind behind the the AntiCupcake Company (her motto is "Down with the Cupcake! Up with the Cheesecake!").

Here are just a few of the tasty holiday treats you'll find at Zest:

• Pies: pecan pie, pumpkin pie, berry pie, Dutch apple pie with dulce de leche - some pies can be made dairy-free as well
• Cheesecake: pumpkin pie cheesecake, vanilla bean cheesecake, cranberry congnac cheesecake, eggnog cheesecake, mini firehouse smores cheesecake
• Breads: white dinner rolls, multigrain rolls, cornbread rolls
• Gingerbread men
• A gluten-free holiday survival kit

Zest Bakery
1224 Arroyo
San Carlos, CA 94070
(650) 241-ZEST (9378)
Twitter: @zestbakery

Another gluten-free bakery to recently appear in the Bay Area is Oakland's Good Chemistry Baking. Started by Jane and Rick O'Hara and serving up espresso, baked goods, and a wide selection of deli offerings, Good Chemistry has become an everyday stop for the locals of the Grand Lake area. This holiday season Jane and Rick have packed their pastry cases with a great selection of holiday favorites:

• Gingerbread loaves and cookies
• Tea loaves: cranberry nut and lemon poppyseed
• Linzer torte cookies
• Dinner rolls and stuffing cubes
• Challah

Good Chemistry Baking
3249 Grand Avenue
Oakland, CA 94610
(510) 350-7190

It wouldn't be the holiday season without a stop at Mariposa Baking Company, located in Oakland on Telegraph Avenue. Now an East Bay mainstay, Mariposa Baking has been baking up some of the best gluten-free brownies, muffins, and pizza crusts since 2004. Owner Patti Furey Crane is known for her creative goodies, so you're sure to find a range of delicious offerings in her display case. If you're in the northern Peninsula, you can also get Mariposa Baking baked goods at San Bruno's Carrot's Coffee & Tea.

Worth mentioning: once you're done shopping at Mariposa, head next door to The Wine Mine, where owner David Sharp stocks a great selection of gluten-free beers to take the edge off after a day of holiday shopping.

Mariposa Baking Company
The Wine Mine
5427 Telegraph Ave
Oakland, CA 94609
(510) 595-0955

Zest bakery has generous shared one of their most popular recipes: cranberry-cognac bread pudding. This dessert is so simple, you won't even need a special gluten-free flour mix to make it. You can just use the loaf of gluten-free bread that's been sitting in your freezer for the past month, waiting to be eaten, or make some homemade bread just for this dish.

Holiday Cranberry-Cognac Bread Pudding (Gluten-Free)
Compliments of Zest Bakery in San Carlos

Makes: 12 servings

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups fresh cranberries
1/4 cup cognac
3/4 cup water
2 tablespoons orange zest
3 cups granulated sugar, divided
3 cups cubed, stale gluten-free bread
6 large eggs, beaten
2 1/2 cups milk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 vanilla bean pod
4 tablespoons butter
Course sugar or turbinado sugar for sprinkling

Preparation:
1. Pour cranberries, cognac, water, orange zest and 1 cup of the granulated sugar into a small pot and simmer on low for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally to keep from burning. Turn off the heat and set aside.
2. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 13 x 9 x 2-inch pan.
3. Arrange cubed bread in a single layer in the pan and spoon dollops of the cranberries over the bread. Add the remaining cubes of bread and spread with a few more spoonfuls of cranberries.
4. Mix together eggs, milk, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and the remaining 2 cups of granulated sugar in a bowl. Split the vanilla bean pod lengthwise and use the tip of the spoon to scrape out the vanilla caviar. Add the vanilla caviar to the egg and milk mixture and whisk until combined. Pour mixture over cubed bread and let sit for 10 minutes.
5. Dot with butter and sprinkle with turbinado sugar. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until set. Remove from oven and allow to cool.

Photo by Keelin Czellecz

100 pounds of sugar, 390 pounds of flour, 60 pounds of eggs, and 100 pounds of candy are among the ingredients for a ten foot tall gingerbread house at The Claremont Hotel Club and Spa. Last night at the Resort’s annual Holiday Open House, over 200 guests showed up to see the unveiling of the big gingerbread house. Also on the bill: Santa, carolers, snow, a 1967 Oakland Fire Department Parade engine (with holiday music), servings of hot cocoa, cider, candy canes, ginger cookies, and more. Charity was a part of the event: bins for toy and canned food donations were set up. Guests could also select ornaments from a Giving Tree to make a wish come true for a child in need.

Caroling in front of the Claremont's Gingerbread House

Executive Chef Josh Thomsen oversaw the construction of the gingerbread house, and Pastry Chef Janine Fong was responsible for the baking details. Thomsen said, "The structure takes a day to build. The rest is five days. We changed it up from last year." Thomsen was exuberant about a "homecoming" dinner (Thomsen is an East Coast native) he and his staff prepared recently for the James Beard Foundation in New York City. Thomsen has worked under Thomas Keller at The French Laundry, and was a StarChefs Rising Star Chef this year. Thomsen made sure to pay his respects during the NYC trip, and ate a twenty-three course Per Se dinner that lasted six and a half hours, "longer than the flight!" Thomsen joked. Full disclosure: This writer's brother Josh Ladd was a part of the Beard House crew.

One difficulty Thomsen and Fong ran into is how to replicate the Claremont, since it's "white all over," as Thomsen noted. The gingerbread house was brown in keeping with the gingerbread's natural color. White was used for the windows and surrounding clouds and snow. Claremont Marketing Manager Mickey Khangsengsing said the house's frame was stored with other decorations while Fong and her crew "baked and baked and baked."

Elisabeth Blackburn, age 7, and Ann Smulka admire the gingerbread goodness together.

Small gingerbread houses were created by Claremont club members, and were judged and displayed throughout the lobby. Elisabeth Blackburn, age seven, and Ann Smulka are club members and live nearby. The two were on hand admiring the varied gingerbread creations. Smulka said, "Some of our neighbors were in the competition."

Khangsengsing and other Claremont managers were the judges of the gingerbread houses. Khangsengsing looked for attention to detail. Citing one of her favorite gingerbread houses, she paused and said, "Look at that roof!" made of what appeared to be Necco wafers. "That took a long time to do.' Don't count on eating the results of any of these gingerbread houses, though; it's best to look, but not touch gingerbread that has been sitting uncovered for days.

Full Disclosure: Mary Ladd’s brother Josh Ladd is the Claremont's Executive Sous Chef.

On a recent trip to Italy I dropped into a temporary shack set up just like a Christmas tree lot but this one featured all things "chestnut." You could sit down to eat some freshly roasted chestnuts and drink a glass of wine before moving on for your evening. There was also a variety of prepared chestnut products as well as raw chestnuts you could purchase. The place was quite packed and the warmth from the roaster was comforting in contrast to the cold wind blowing outside.

At this time of year across Northern Italy you'll see roasted chestnut stands on street corners of cities large and small. These businesses are the Italian version of pumpkin patches and Christmas tree lots, completely seasonal and a reminder of more modest times. The vendors take up their position on corners and piazzas, roast chestnuts over an open fire and sell them for a few bucks in paper cones. You'll see the skins strewn across cobblestone streets as people munch while strolling. Chestnuts are omnipresent this time of year in Northern Italy on menus, in markets and in the orchards that carpet Piedmont.

This encounter got me thinking about why we don't see chestnuts as publicly available in the Bay Area. I had a minor eureka moment and remembered that years ago the Chronicle had mentioned that you could collect chestnuts somewhere in San Mateo County. Upon my return I took a quick trip down to Skyline Chestnuts and did some gathering. Apparently, the chestnut season is fairly brief. It started mid-October and ends this weekend before Thanksgiving so if you are interested in DIY chestnut collection don't delay!

The drive down is a great experience unto itself. In less than an hour from San Francisco you enter into a completely rural landscape. Should you take the quick route down 280 you turn west on Sand Hill Road and climb through the economic strata: Massive houses, equestrians hugging the road and packs of people on really nice bikes. Then you reach the redwoods and classic coastal California. Hairpin turns pull you onto ridges that yield pristine views of the entire bay one minute, then rolling hills descending into the Pacific the next. Along the way you can stop to pick up a picnic or even a glass of wine because Thomas Fogerty winery lies directly in your path.

Once you arrive at Skyline Chestnuts the process is easy. You show up and the proprietors, Hans and Donna Johsens, give you a bucket and some heavy leather gloves and then point you down the trail where you'll find a series of chestnut trees and the ground carpeted by nuts and the bristly pods that contain them known as burrs. Most of the nuts are already nude on the ground so the collection process is pretty straightforward. Occasionally you'll find some that haven't completely emerged from the burrs so you'll need to pry them out with your securely gloved hands. Collect until you're content and enjoy San Mateo County's open space because it's quite amazing. You might also want to gather some of the burrs as well -- they make great table decorations for Thanksgiving.

Now what do you do with your bounty? Roasting is by far the easiest and most traditional way. Skyline Chestnuts sells chestnut knives which makes the process easier. They also sell classic roasting pans and recipe books. To roast them score each chestnut with an X on the flat side and place a bunch in a roasting pan at 350 degrees for about 10-15 minutes. Check them periodically and once the corners of the X point upwards they should be done. Take them out and place the chestnuts in a towel, twist it so that they all crack and then serve. It will still take some work to peel them but it's a great post prandial event or even a great early evening event for kids.

The process of skinning chestnuts can be rather laborious but if you have a few people gathered around a table it can be a pleasant social activity and the rewards are worthwhile. As an ingredient, chestnuts are an excellent addition to many types of dishes. There's nothing quite like the taste of truly fresh chestnuts tossed into salads, sauteed with Brussels sprouts or in cakes and soups. Recipes abound and stretch across all meals and courses so dive into that cookbook collection or search online resources. I've included a few recipes to get you started. With Thanksgiving a week away I urge you to consider adding chestnuts to your feast because they add a completely different flavor to the mix.

• Chestnut Gnocchi with Robiola Cheese Sauce
• Marrons aux Oignons et Quetsches (Chestnuts, Onions and Prunes)
• Stewed Chestnuts With Ricotta
• Chestnut Stuffing
• Sauteed Leeks and Chestnuts
• Celery Root and Chestnut Soup With Brussels Sprouts

I'll admit it: I'm fickle. Sure, I've been swearing my undying pumpkin love these last few weeks. But sometimes, you reach perfection, and then you can let go and move on.

Walking down 18th Street with a little time to kill last week, I found myself--hey, how did that happen?--strolling right past Bi-Rite Creamery and its adorable soft-serve sidekick. Which just happened to be serving pumpkin soft-serve.

Well, OMG, as the kids say. Utter heaven, even better than the regular pumpkin ice cream at Scoops in Fairfax and Mitchell's in the Mission, my previous two standard-bearers for frozen pumpkin joy. Monday is their designated pumpkin day. Don't miss it!

So now, onto the other joys of autumn. Pomegranates! Red Starkrimson pears! Poached quinces! Shredded Brussels sprouts sauteed with pancetta! And chestnuts, lovely, shiny brown chestnuts.
Chestnuts, like quinces, take some dedication. These are not easy-munching foods. Quinces, cement-hard and astringently tannic in their raw state, need a long slow simmer in a nicely sugared bath to reveal their true mellow deliciousness. Chestnuts are rock-like and double-wrapped, with a glossy shell outside and a clingy, monkey-furred layer inside. You cannot eat them as is; they must be boiled or roasted to release the shell and soften the nut into delectable, sweet crumbly pastiness. And once cooked, you've got to work fast; getting the nut clear is only possible while it's still warm. You will shred the tops of your thumbs and end up with bits of chestnut meat caked under your nails.

So, by all means, spend the extra dough and buy them already peeled and jarred or vacuum packed at your favorite gourmet store. Me? Well, I'll be roasting and peeling, because can't resist the seasonal beauty of the nuts in their raw and shiny state, found at this time of year at both farmers' markets and in the supermarket. Also, because it just doesn't feel like the holidays without a sacrifice made to the demanding chestnut gods.

And while Thanksgiving at my house demands chestnuts in the stuffing, I do sometimes regret burying all that work in a panful of bready mush.

Last year, housesitting in a gorgeous Victorian complete with formal dining room, I decided to throw an elegant sit-down dinner for 12 for New Year's Eve, a party with complete with champagne and crab hors d'oeuvres in the living room to start, and popovers and chestnut soup as the first course. The inspiration was the Viennese-inspired, velvety-rich chestnut soup served at New York City's Cafe Sabarsky. Kurt Gutenbrunner, the chef at Sabarsky (as well as at its sister restaurants, the elegant Wallse and the bier-und-wurst Blau Gans), takes his soup to an elaborate extreme, making a woodsy mushroom-stock base, dropping in a surprise depth charge of brandy-soaked prunes, and topping the whole with a frothy cloud of steamed milk seasoned with nutmeg and dried porcinis smashed to powder.

But you know, with a multi-course meal, something (or your sanity) has got to give, and so I created a stripped-down version, minus the prunes and porcini, that still managed to capture the essence of a late autumn tramp through the woods.

You can make it several days ahead of time and heat up at the last minute (always useful when entertaining). It's intriguing without being weird, and elegant without being overly rich or madly expensive to make.

In weight and presentation, it's similar to a lobster bisque, but without the whole squirming-crustacean-dying-at-your-hands issue, which, frankly, is just too much to deal with when you're running out at the last minute for more butter, trying to find the guest towels and wondering whether you need to iron the napkins.

Chestnut Soup

Serves: 6, as a first course

Ingredients:
25-30 fresh whole chestnuts, or 1 cup peeled chestnuts
3 tbsp butter, divided
2 shallots, peeled and diced
2 carrots, peeled and diced
1 parsnip, peeled and diced
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 tbsp maple syrup
1 branch thyme, a bay leaf, and 4 or 5 sprigs of parsley, tied together
4 or 5 sprigs of parsley, minced
1/2 cup dry sherry or Madeira
3 cups chicken broth
½ cup heavy cream or half-and-half
3 tbsp crème fraiche
Freshly grated nutmeg
4 or 5 crimini mushroom caps, sliced, or 6 whole black trumpet mushrooms, halved lengthwise

Preparation:
1. To prepare whole chestnuts, cut a shallow "x" in the rounded side of each chestnut with a sharp knife. Roast at 325F until the meat is tender and the skin dries out and curls back. Peel chestnuts while still warm, otherwise skin will stick to the nut. Discard any discolored or wormy nuts.

2. Melt 2 tbsp butter in a saucepan. Saute shallots, carrot, and parsnip, stirring, until tender but not browned, approximately 5 minutes.

3, Add chestnuts. Sprinkle in a few pinches of salt and maple syrup, and cook, stirring, until chestnuts are golden-spotted and lightly caramelized, 2 to 3 minutes. Add sherry, and cook, stirring, over low heat for another 2 to 3 minutes.

4. Add herbs and chicken broth, and simmer gently for 20-25 minutes, partially covered. Remove herb bundle.

5. Let cool for a few minutes, add cream, then puree in a blender. Taste for seasoning, adding more salt, pepper, or sherry as needed. For extra smoothness, crank through the fine disc of a food mill or pass through a fine-mesh strainer.

6. Melt remaining tablespoon of butter over medium-low heat. Add mushrooms and cook until lightly browned on one side. Using a spatula, turn mushrooms over and brown remaining side. Remove from heat and set aside.

6. Return soup to the pan and warm gently. To serve, top with a spoonful of crème fraiche and a few slices of mushroom. Grate a little fresh nutmeg over crème fraiche.

As it turns out, Mele Kalikimaka really is the thing to say on a bright Hawai'ian Christmas Day. So, in honor of all my friends from The Islands Big and not-so-Big, I am saying "Merry Christmas" with a big bowl of poke. Of course, since this is a Holiday piece, I felt it necessary to make this raw tuna dish look as Christmas-y as possible, under the circumstances.

And why not?

I have been terrified intrigued by the idea of an Hawai'ian Christmas ever since I was forced to participate in my elementary school's "Salute to Hawai'i" Christmas pageant as a shy, bespectacled, backwards-shirted (you should see my class photo) second grader. I was impressed that anyone could pull together an hour's Holiday entertainment singing nothing but Polynesian Christmas songs. Perhaps entertainment is too strong a word. Of course, I was also convinced that our musical director was binge-drinking.

Whatever the case, I thought I had successfully eradicated the horror of having to stand up and sing on stage wearing a hula shirt and grass apron in front of an audience of parents in cowl necked sweaters and three-piece corduroy suits forever.

Apparently not.

When helping my friend Craig carry in his family's Christmas tree last week, he started to good-naturedly threaten his daughters with the idea of creating a Polynesian-themed tree. "We'll give it a grass skirt and top it with a big Pele," he said. I chimed in by promising to decorate the tree with snowmen made of poi. The girls were unimpressed. I had thought referencing of the Fire Goddess Pele was a nice touch but, after lugging a ten foot Douglas fir into his house, I was privately casting my vote for Ulaulekeahi, God of Distillers.

And then I thought about how I on earth I was going to pull off poi-based snowmen.

As I was imagining rolling these poi-men in shredded coconut, the memories of that awful pageant came flooding back. Well, not flooding. Perhaps tricking back is a better term. But it was enough to make me shudder when I remembered our big show-stopper-- "The Hawai'ian Twelve Days of Christmas." Fortunately, I could only remember the first day (One myna bird in one papaya tree). If you really can't live with yourself until you know what "tutu" gave to us on the other eleven days, you can read the lyrics here. I just thank the tiki gods that we didn't attempt to sing this song in Pidgin English.

Well, I have chucked the idea of making poi-men this year because, well, poi happens to be one of the few foodstuffs I actually loathe. Why make Christmas more unpleasant than it already is? So, instead, I am making poke, which happens to be one of my favorite foodstuffs and, most conveniently, Hawai'ian.

Mele Kalikimaka, makamakas.

Poke

Serves 4 to 6

By the way, the word is pronounced poh-keh, or poh-kay, if you prefer. In Hawai'ian, poke means, roughly, "small piece" and, just as the name would imply, it is a dish of fish cut into small pieces, tossed with on-hand ingredients, and served up as a side dish-- a sort of fish salad. You don't find it on many restaurant menus (or didn't-- hopefully that is changing), but you can find it in most homes and even at Hawai'ian supermarkets in the deli section. It's unassuming, fresh (it had better be-- you're dealing with raw fish here), and utterly delicious.

Some folks like their poke with rice, some like it lightly seared, and some, it's true, like it hot. Personally, I like it raw and served with chips made of fried wonton wrappers. To me, it is a sort of Polynesian/Pan-Asian (just look at the ingredients) chips-and-salsa.

Give it a go, if you like. Just please make certain that you get the freshest possible tuna. Bargain hunting may be a practical skill when it come to buying a couch or a Persian rug, but you will not necessarily be well-served by it when purchasing fresh seafood. And, no, canned tuna will not do.

Lastly, there is no single "proper" recipe, so add whatever you like. Common ingredients include: tomato, green onions, Maui onion, macadamia nuts--whatever is in the house that might work logically with tuna. Go for it. My favored recipe is simple and straight-forward, just like me.

Ingredients:

1 pound fresh tuna, (ahi, yellowfin-- something you might use when making sushi)

1/2 cup chopped, fresh seaweed

1 medium-sized shallot, chopped fine

1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

1 teaspoon sesame oil

2 tablespoons shoyu (Japanese soy sauce)

A handful of black sesame seeds for garnish (which I forgot to add in the above photo. I wound up eating most of it standing over the sink before I even remembered about them).

Preparation:

Cut the tuna into 1/2" cubes. Place in a large bowl and toss with seaweed, pepper flakes, shallot, shoyu, and sesame oil. Serve immediately or wait an hour or so to let the flavors blend.

Serve with fried wonton chips or sticky rice. Whatever you serve it with, just make sure you serve it on the same day it was prepared. This is, after all, raw fish we're talking about.

"A merry Christmas, Bob! Said Scrooge, with an earnestness that could not be mistaken…I'll raise your salary, and endeavour to assist your struggling family, and we will discuss your affairs this very afternoon, over a Christmas bowl of smoking bishop, Bob!..."

Like a lot of Christmas revelers out there, I count A Christmas Carol as my favorite holiday story. Yet my reason for loving this Dickens tale is probably a little different than you might expect. Although I find Scrooge's metamorphoses from Bah-humbug kill joy to jolly benefactor heartwarming, I adore his transition from gruel eater to Smoking Bishop drinker even more. In one day, old Ebenezer goes from eating only to survive -- I mean, come on, gruel for dinner on Christmas Eve? -- to purchasing the largest and best Christmas turkey in London.  His change is so dramatic that he actually suggests imbibing a bowl of Smoking Bishop early in the day with the much abused Bob Cratchit. I find this act even more profound than when he raises Bob's salary a moment earlier. It's Ebenezer Scrooge's wish to indulge in a holiday cocktail that seems the greatest evidence he has found his yuletide soul. Ah... good old converted Scrooge and his new-found love of the drink.

But what is Smoking Bishop and how did it get such an entertaining name?  I did a little research and found a great clip from a Morning Edition episode in 2002 on NPR. In the piece, Neda Ulaby interviews Cedrick Dickens, Charles Dickens great-grandson, who explains that "people back in the 1800s enjoyed a whole range of 'clerical drinks,' and Smoking Bishop was one of these. "Pope is burgundy, Cardinal is champagne or rye, Archbishop is claret, Bishop is port, and so on," Dickens goes on to say. I just love the English and their naming conventions.

Smoking Bishop is basically a type of warmed sangria made with port. From what I can tell, it's a traditional Christmas drink, but I'm not sure if this happened because of the reference in A Christmas Carol, or if it was already a holiday beverage before that. Whatever the case, as a lover of sangria and A Christmas Carol, I think I'll need to give it a try this holiday season.

The 1999 version of A Christmas Carol with Patrick Stewart is the only film version I know of where Scrooge actually calls the drink Smoking Bishop (which is how Dickens himself referred to it in the story), although as my family only watches this version (which is my daughters' favorite) and the Alastair Sim's Scrooge (which is my favorite -- too bad he scares my kids), I'm sure there are others I'm not aware of.

In the all-time classic Alastair Sim's version -- who, as far as I'm concerned, plays the greatest Scrooge of all time -- they have changed the line so Scrooge now says "a bowl of hot punch." I wonder if they changed the line because they didn't think anyone would know what Smoking Bishop was; whatever the case, I'll forgive them as it's a near perfect Christmas film otherwise.

And for your own holiday entertainment, watch the full version of Seymour Hicks in Scrooge from 1935.

To make your own bowl of smoking bishop, here's the recipe from Ms. Ulaby's interview

Smoking Bishop

• Take six Seville oranges and bake them in a moderate oven until pale brown. If you cannot procure any bitter Seville oranges, use four regular oranges and one large grapefruit.

• Prick each of the oranges with five whole cloves, put them into a warmed ceramic or glass vessel with one-quarter pound of sugar and a bottle of red wine, cover the vessel, and leave it in a warm place for 24 hours.

• Take the oranges out of the mixture, cut in half and squeeze the juice, then pour the juice back into the wine.

• Pour the mixture into a saucepan through a sieve, add a bottle of port, heat (without boiling), and serve in warmed glasses.

• Drink the mixture, and keep Christmas well!

One of the things I love about cooking around the holidays is experimenting with all the ingredients in my refrigerator. Although I have a great time planning our Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Year's feasts, I think I enjoy the impromptu ones even more. Take Christmas breakfast this year: although I had every intention of making cinnamon rolls the night before Christmas so we could have freshly-baked ooey gooey deliciousness in the morning, an ill-timed head cold forced me to bed early. So there we were, Christmas morning with no buns. What we did have, however, was a fridge full of fresh and luxurious holiday ingredients.

After my daughters had their fill of opening the slew of presents Santa left, I sidled into the kitchen and opened the fridge. As I stared at the contents, I started to get hungry. My cold was subsiding and my nasal passages were starting to be able to discern smells again. As I scanned the shelf before me, I realized I had all the makings for a great frittata: eggs, baby spinach, pancetta, ricotta, parmesan, and heavy cream. It didn’t take long to mix everything together, and once I did, my mother commented on how the pancetta’s pink color coordinated with the green spinach to make a lovely Christmas color combination. I stared at my plate and felt a bit like an accidental Martha Stewart until I looked up and was brought back to reality by my messy kitchen. Even better than how it looked, however, was the fact that the eggs, ricotta and heavy cream had merged into a gorgeous custard, with the pancetta, spinach and Parmesan adding both salty and savory flavors.

The foods I had on hand worked well for my needs, but I could have easily used a variety of other items many people have lying around during the holidays. If you have a refrigerator full of random leftovers from holiday menus, just use whatever sounds good to make your own great holiday frittata. Some items you may want to use are cheeses left over from an appetizer platter, crème freche, ricotta, heavy cream, baked ham, sausage, pate, or al dente vegetables. There’s nothing like a frittata to make the most of a 1/2 cup of leftover whatever.

I’m also including my recipe for breakfast sausage, which I made on Christmas morning to go with the frittata. I like to start with sausage meat from my local butcher, but you could just as easily cobble this dish together using mild Italian pork or chicken sausage, or bratwurst. Any sausage you like is fine as the real flavor comes from adding a few more ingredients to the meat. Sometimes I add rosemary, spring onions and mustard, but I have also tried and liked adding a tablespoon of maple syrup, thyme, and shallots. You could also toss in a tablespoon of fruit chutney.

Most of us don’t have heavy cream and aged cheeses sitting in our refrigerators on a daily basis, so if you have holiday foods left over, make the most of them. Chances are your cupboard will revert back to a more modest and healthier ingredients list in a week or two and the opportunity will be lost.

Holiday Frittata

Serves: 4 - 6 people

Ingredients:
6 eggs
1/2 cup ricotta, crème freche, or sour cream
1/2 cup heavy cream or whole milk
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup chopped pancetta, sausage or bacon
1/2 cup fresh spinach or arugula
1 Tbs olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Preparation:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Place olive oil and your meat of choice into a medium pan that can go into the oven for 5-7 minutes or until your meat is lightly browned.
3. Meanwhile, whisk your eggs in a medium bowl until they start to get frothy.
4. Whisk in the ricotta, crème freche or sour cream and then add in the 1/2 cup of heavy cream or whole milk (please note that you should only use one of each ingredient, i.e., not heavy cream AND whole milk).
5. Once the meat is browned, add your spinach or arugula to the pan and sprinkle on a dash of salt. Mix and set in the oven for 2-3 minutes, or until the greens wilt.
6. Add the Parmesan to the egg mixture and then add it to the pan and bake for 5-7 minutes, or until the eggs become semi-firm.
7. Switch your oven to broil and place the pan about two inches beneath it. Broil your frittata until lightly browned and then quickly remove from the oven.
8. Serve.

"Homemade" Breakfast Sausage Patties

Makes: 8 - 12 sausages (depending on how large you make the patties)

Ingredients:
6 sausages (chicken or pork) or 1 pound sausage meat
1 Tbsp finely chopped rosemary
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1/4 cup chopped spring onions or shallots
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper

Preparation:
1. Remove sausage meat from their casings and place meat in a medium bowl.
2. Add all the other ingredients and then form sausage into patties.
3. If making baking in the oven, place the patties on a large baking sheet and cook for 10 minutes on each side or until the patties are thoroughly browned.
4. If making on the stove top, heat a large pan on medium high and fry patties on each side until browned and thoroughly cooked through.
5. Serve.

As much as I like to pretend to be a hard-ass, sarcastic, cynical little crab, movies can really do a number on my emotional system. For instance, Apollo 13 is so effective that whenever I feel the need for a good cry-out, I pop it in, knowing exactly when I can expect the cathartic tears to brim over.

(Of course, it's one of those things where it's not effective unless I watch the WHOLE movie. I can't just fast-forward to the scene where Tom Hanks' voice finally crackles through to Mission Control after over four minutes of silence and expect to feel the full impact of it all.)

It's no surprise that with the excessive amounts of cooking, cleaning, wrapping, and holiday stress that comes from missing family and friends, Christmas movies can really sock it to your emotional core. Give yourself a night off and huddle up with some classic homey movies, some comforting local take-out, and several boxes of Kleenexes.

A Christmas Story
Even though I have the whole thing on tape already, when TBS starts showing this on Christmas Eve for 24 hours straight, my television will be on the entire time. I never get tired of any little bit of it, but I especially love the snow scenes. Ever since I moved to California, the scenes of Ralphie waking up Christmas morning to a backyard coated in freshly fallen snow and the parents quietly closing out Christmas night with glasses of wine and another snowfall hit me hardest.

Christmas Story Take-Out Menu

Randy's Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes: In my Midwestern opinion, the best Bay Area version of this homey food can be found at any of the Chow outposts. However, Blue Plate's version is also pretty tasty (if a bit salty), and I've recently learned that a Fra'mani meatloaf can be found at Costco?! Heavenly.

Just make sure you eat your meatloaf and mashed potatoes exactly like Randy: face first.

Chow delivery available through Waiters on Wheels, take-out available from the Church Street location. Blue Plate offers take-out.

Roast Turkey: In order to avoid any possible disastrous interactions with ravenous neighborhood dogs, swap the stress of a home-roasted turkey for Zuni Cafe's celebrated chicken and bread salad. (Frankly, we just had Thanksgiving, so aren't we a bit turkey'd out?) Zuni doesn't do take-out, but if you do what we do, it's just as good.

Go in, order a complete meal. Halfway through the meal, ask for the chicken and bread salad. At the end of the meal, profess to be too full for the chicken and bread salad, have their always-accommodating staff wrap up your spoils for you to bring home to your couch and TV. (It's the upgraded version of the two-fer we used pull at Olive Garden when I was a poor college student. We'd gorge ourselves on bottomless breadsticks and salad and then bring our entrees home. Two meals for the price of one!)

Peking Duck: I suggest you bypass the drama of having the poor thing decapitated at the table, so call up Ton Kiang for their conveniently pre-hacked version resplendent with crispy, lacquered skin and accompanied by soft puffy buns, plum sauce, and scallion brushes.

Ton Kiang delivers to some neighborhoods, otherwise do take-out

White Christmas
Ah, singing, dancing, and schmaltz! This Christmas classic is full of Rosemary Clooney, Bing Crosby, and my eternal favorite, Danny Kaye. Great songs, great gags, great dancing, and I challenge even the hardest-bittenest Grinch around not to sob when Vermont innkeeper General Waverley walks out to see his old troops standing at attention. (Criminy, I choked myself up there just by WRITING about it!)

Never in my life do I crave liverwurst sandwiches except when watching old movies that feature them (they play a role in White Christmas, Charade, and Spellbound), so for this movie menu, think about getting in a nice spread of deli sandwiches, some choice Vermont cheeses, and a cocktail or two.

White Christmas Take-Out Menu

Ham and Cheese on Rye, Liverwurst, and Turkey Sandwiches: Miller's East Coast Delicatessen on Polk and Clay is THE place for authentic deli treats. All the sandwiches Bing offered Rosemary, including the dream-inducing liverwurst, can be made fresh here and taken home to your television set.

Cabot Clothbound Cheddar: Created by Cabot but aged on spruce by Jasper Hill Farm, this cheddar is wonderfully sharp and rich. Look for it at Cowgirl Creamery's retail stores or the Cheese Board Collective in Berkeley.

Hot Buttered Cider-Rum
In the movie, Danny Kaye looks forward to having one of these before they get to their destination and discover Vermont is rather short of snow that year. This is a recipe my husband developed in Boston by piecing a few recipes together.

Makes: 1 cocktail

Ingredients:
1-2 oz dark rum
6 oz mulled cider
1 tsp unsalted butter
1 tsp brown sugar
Freshly grated nutmeg
Cinnamon stick, for garnish

Preparation:
Combine the rum and hot cider in a heatproof glass or mug. Stir in the sugar and float the butter on top. Grate the nutmeg over the top and garnish with a single cinnamon stick.

Waverly Place Echo
Not named for the general in the movie as far as I know, but fitting nonetheless, don't you think? This recipe comes from the December issue of Imbibe.

Makes: 1 cocktail

Ingredients:
1/4 oz Hangar One Mandarin Blossom Vodka
1/4 oz vodka
6 Chinese Five-Spice-marinated Mandarin orange segments
1 oz Meyer lemon juice
5 to 6 candied Meyer lemon peels
1/2 oz Chinese Five-Spice Syrup (recipe follows)
3 Kaffir lime leaves, cut into long chiffonade
3/4 oz seltzer
Ice cubes

Preparation:
Combine ingredients in a mixing glass. Stir, add ice, cover and shake a few times. Pour into a glass and serve.

To make the mandarin orange segments, simply peel and separate the segments of a mandarin, cover with Chinese Five-Spice syrup, and marinate for at least 15 minutes.

For candied Meyer lemon peel, add strips of zest from 1 Meyer lemon to 1/2 cup of boiling simple syrup, reduce heat to low and simmer 5 minutes. Remove from heat and cool to room temperature before using.

Chinese Five-Spice Syrup

Makes: 2 2/3 cups

Ingredients:
5 whole star anise
1 Tb fennel seed
1 3-inch stick cinnamon, broken up
1 tsp whole cloves
1 Tb Szechuan peppercorns
2-2/3 cup simple syrup (dissolve 2 2/3 cups granulated white sugar into 2 2/3 cups hot water and let cool)
2 tsp honey

Preparation:
Process all spices to a coarse powder in a spice or coffee grinder. Heat a stainless steel pot over medium heat and toast the spices. Once fragrant, add the simple syrup to the pan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low and add the honey. Simmer for 5 minutes, then remove from the heat. Let the mixture cool to room temperature and strain through a fine-mesh strainer. Will keep up to one month in the refrigerator.