I think I’ll just begin as I do every morning-- with fashion, diet, and exercise advice from Brenda Dickson.

There are some people in this world who spend entirely too much time on YouTube. I count myself as one of them. One of my favorite discoveries has been Miss Dickson. She’s been somewhat of a sensation on the website over the past several months, elevating an otherwise forgettable actress to cult star status.

She’s been parodied dozens of times, but her original, self-produced self-help video "Welcome to My Home" (1987) needs no added commentary to be both horrifying and hilarious-- it's so vain, yet so well intentioned that it’s impossible not to love. It is gorgeous, wonderful Camp. If you don't know what I’m talking about, I shall refer you to the late Susan Sontag-- she can explain it all to you.

And then I shall cry.

Here is part two of Miss Dickson’s video. Her diet advice begins at 4:14, but warm up a little with her exercise routine (with her dog, Charles). There is nothing more to be said, there is only to watch.

Enjoy. Just remember: Salt can make your face puffy, and sugar causes wrinkles.