Comments on: Check, Please: How to Pay without looking like a fool or making everyone uncomfortable.

By: sl

sl — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 21:50:11 +0000

I am a Chinese American, and have witnessed several times the parents/aunts/uncles reacting like hungry pirahnas fighting over a piece of meat when the waiter brings the check. My cousins and I all agree that it is stupid and ridiculous, and that they look like fools.

By: jesqer

jesqer — Sun, 24 May 2009 03:08:55 +0000

+1 with jeanie. perhaps the author has a very homogeneous group of friends and acquaintances…perhaps the author is highly ignorant of other cultures and customs. there are many cultures where it is socially required to fight over the check and to do so vociferously. the “peace and harmony” of the table is NOT shattered but actually enhanced, the effort is not “misguided,” and it is not about playing “Alpha Dog.” a server in the Bay Area certainly should know such a basic custom of other cultures.

By: gd

gd — Sat, 23 May 2009 03:26:38 +0000

You have every right to be irritated if you, the server, are dragged into the fight about the check. However if the diners want to do it, or feel they should, I don’t see why you should care. I’m forth generation Chinese American and still I feel that I should make an attempt to pick up the check. It is not some misguided attempt at being hospitable or trying to be the alpha dog at the table. It’s what we were taught was the proper thing to do.

By: jeanie

jeanie — Fri, 22 May 2009 17:09:13 +0000

This is also a cultural thing. In eastern cultures, its rude to not fight over the check. Its actually considered protocol. I never fight over the check with my white friends, but with specific groups of people or my family, I would not feel like a good friend or dinner companion if I DIDN’t fight over the check.