At my place of work, I tip out according to my total sales. That does, in fact, mean that I am tipping out the bartenders on everything, whether some tables have purchased alcohol or not, the same way I am required to tip out my barista, even if no one in my section has ordered coffee.

And if your server looks down his/her nose at you for not drinking, that’s unprofessional behavior in my book. Guests are guests and should be treated with warmth, regardless of what they choose to eat or drink.

Thanks for two very informative blog posts about tipping, btw. It’s been a bit of an eyeopener.

In other words, I think that smart and adaptive restaurants should start thinking about ways of phasing out this antiquated system of tipping; Its not that individuals are cheap, but rather the issue has become so troublesome that people would rather avoid having to deal with it. I’m sure, that if a restaurant were to open its doors as ‘tip-free’ they would have flocks of people at their doors. Instead, the tip jars at the side of every cashier has become the norm. The argument that the customer, on top of supporting the restaurant needs to subsidize the service they receive sounds ridiculous to me. Aren’t the customers already paying for the food and service they receive? Sympathy for those who take these jobs is always used as means of justifying this system. But remember, taking those jobs is a choice. Think about it this way, is being server a dream job that somebody wants to keep for the rest of their lives? I personally doubt it! In this sense, by tipping one is making server jobs seem like a ‘long-term’ profession. I suspect, that if you asked any server, what they would rather be doing with their lives, it would not be serving you. That’s for sure. I personally feel that ‘tipping’ is a way of subsidizing mediocricy. Instead of having server positions be open to those hard working individuals wishing to make something better of themselves (i.e. as a temp positions, or first jobs), they are being held as ‘long-term’ options for those who wish to lounge on the generosity of the customers.

So, with this in mind, the question of tipping is not really limited to ‘is a person cheap or not’, but rather indexes an individual’s ideology. If you feel tipping is a way of helping those ‘servers’ who get underpaid and overworked, then by all means be a generous tipper. However, do not pass judgment on those who do not tip, as you do not know what those individuals may be doing to improve more important issues (i.e. health care, social services, etc.) affecting these so called ‘underpaid and overworked’ service sector jobs. I personally do not support this type of institutionalized laziness. Instead of having these positions be some sort of first-job or positions for individuals who have hit a wrong-turn somewhere, by tipping we are making them more ‘reliable’ professions. We, as a society, do not need ‘life-long’ or ‘expert’ servers. What we need are skilled and critical thinkers. We know the good things about tipping, but what about the bad? How does tipping prevent individuals from pursuing other goals? This is the question I pose to you. [How about starting a server-to-college program [just throwing the idea out there]; funding something like this seems more to my liking than leaving 20% at the table and calling this civil duty – that is an insult to those who are truly engaged in the act of civil improvement.]

That said, I typically go for 20% on the total minus tax, but I’m not a big drinker so quibbling over the bar bill for me isn’t as important.

Denise– Thank you. You’re right, a converation about salary vs. living off tips is another matter. Invariably, people tend to bring that up whenever tipping is discussed. And I happen to think that servers who ignore people with small checks are rather short-sighted fools. Not drinking? And…? Lot’s of people don’t drink, but they do eat. And if they are treated really well and the food is good, they will most likely come back. Hell, they might even come back with people who do drink!

CMH– I don’t think you’re being lame. Take-out’s a tricky one for me, too. If your food is delivered to you, then you really should tip. I think the typical take-out tip is 10%. There are so many grey areas here. Rather than answer this myself, I’ll direct you to Michael Bauer’s blog– there was some good discussion about just this thing:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=26&entry_id=14053

Ben– I suppose in some cases, sharing tips is crazy, but not in my case. If it weren’t for my busser and everyone else who supports me, I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time at table as I do. Since I’ve got such a great support staff, I can do what I should be doing– describing food items, answering wine questions, designing my diners’ meals, and generally making sure that they’re comfortable and truly enjoying themselves. Without that support, I’d be running around with my head cut off. I pay them out and I do it happily.

HD– The only whining evident here has been found in the comment section. Waitstaff rarely tip out fairly? That’s a very interesting generalization. I’m sure that is certainly true in some situations, and that is clearly wrong. My place of work, for example, has safeguards to prevent such things from happening. You would have known that had you actually paid attention.

Shannon– Lord love you, woman.

Steve– You’re right, it really did used to be 15%. However, it’s been 15-20% for at least the past 20 years. I actually don’t advocate 20% tipping for sub-standard service. If I get lousy service, which is often, sadly, I leave 15%. If it’s rude or just downright hostile, I leave nothing and tell them why (Okay, that’s only happened twice in my life, but it ust felt right).

20% is the standard for good service. If it’s great service, I leave more, since I come across it so infrequently.

The Regular– Where I work, if I want to send out a dessert or an appetizer or a drink or whatever, really, I have to power to do it. Just to be nice. If I happen to like my guests or they’re new, etc. No cost to me. It’s just what we do. If a guest is unhappy with his meal, he’s not going to get bribed with a piece of cake. He’s just not going to pay for whatever it is he didn’t like. The comps in the story I illustrated were sent in good faith. Nothing was wrong, it was just a nice thing to do, that’s all.

Much as I appreciate the article itself, this statement is not without merit. Years in BoH and a year in FoH (6 months waitstaff, 6 months bar) do show the discrepancies and often leave me to wonder if there are actually places where FoH does a clean share with prep and line in the back (partie, sous, and above don’t need tips, we do have a little more leeway in negotiating wages).

And, yes, Europe has it right. Leaving tips as what they were intended to be, a reward based gift, focuses the responsibility for fair payment back onto the employer, away from the customer who neither has nor should be forced to have an insight into the inner workings of the food service industry’s arrangements.

But to the meat of the issue. I recently spoke with friends (after an elaborate meal) about tipping habits and customs. While most agreed on the twenty per cent rule, it opened the discussion to perceptions and knowledge. On a $800 4-person prix fixe, a $200 tip reflects – in the mind of the patron who sees (and that’s good) only direct interactions – a $500/h wage.

“I’ve only seen my waiter when they brought out the food, combined maybe for fifteen minutes. So you want me to pay this person $200 for a 15 minute job when I pay the Ph.D. brain-surgeon in my clinic half of that?” asks one of my friends. Another chimes in, telling me about his brother who also deals with “customers”, this time of the not-so-friendly-kind, as a police officer, and who makes about $29/h. Do I agree with them? Not totally, but those are the perceptions and those are the realities of customer service and FoH.

The solution, again, seems to put our foot down and demand work-appropriate wages and the return of tipping from a necessary contribution to the waitstaff’s bottom line to a performance based reward that serves as an addition to a good income. Europe has it right, I tells ya.

I’ve always understood that, when a guest is the lucky recipient of comps, the tip should be based on the total check including the cost of the comp item(s). But a savvy-diner friend recently suggested that the cost of the comp comes out of the server’s end of the bill, so to offset this factor, I should be tipping my usual percentage on the actual check amount, and then adding 50% minimum of the cost of the comps.

Have I been stiffing some of my favorite people all these years? (I presume the comps would stop if I had, but perhaps they just keep hoping I’ll come around to see the error of my ways.)