You are right on the money with this one. I have spent the last 16 years in the food service industry, doing everything from waiting tables, hostessing, line cook, prep cook, bar tending to managing a restaurant. Everyone should have the experience of standing on your feet for 10 or more hours, carrying trays of food and drinks while being abused by snobbish, rude people who refuse to see that you, too, are a professional and a human being.

My last day as wait staff came about because as I was exiting the kitchen with an 8 person bowl of freshly made won-ton soup just as a fellow waiter was on his way in… through the out door. Needless to say, I was covered from chest to knees in boiling broth in full view of the dining room. I ran back into the kitchen to strip and get cold water on my thankfully quite minor burns and another member of the wait staff had my table’s order out to them with only a few minutes delay. I changed, and when I returned to the table with the next course, one of the diners said: “I hope you don’t expect us to pay for this meal. We shouldn’t have had to wait just because you’re clumsy.”

We suffer cuts, burns, bruises, sprains, repetitive stress injuries, corns, bunions, blisters, callouses… We endure rudeness, harassment, inappropriate sexual come-ons, diva-like attitudes… We are expected to smile and be gracious and go the extra mile for minimum wage or less…

So, thank you, Shuna. Thank you for telling our side of it, and thank you for recognizing that most people who complain about how we do our jobs would run home crying on their first day.

Despite various connections to the restaurant industry, I have in fact only worked at the one job that is clearly lower on the totem pole by anyone’s standards than waiter – and that would be dishwasher, a job I held part time from the age of 14 through 19 at various establishments and which I still believe was what really taught me about work and how to work hard.

I never saw tips – but I didn’t expect to.

I think that all this kerfuffle about diners/waiters rights is very much an American issue. And while I agree with Brett that the mandatory service charge is a good thing (I grew up in London after all) I think the real issue for Americans is a different cultural problem. It is the issue of time. Both sides of the equation are hurrying too much. Yes, sometimes I want my meal fast – but then maybe I should have gotten a sandwich? Conversely, I do NOT like being pressured to move along just so the restaurant can turn the table. If you were only planning to ‘average’ 90 minutes per sitting then maybe you should have told me that up front?

When we eat out and ARE in a hurry we make sure to tell the wait staff and tell them how fast we hope to be done. Then they are on our side and tell us things like XYZ takes too long – you won’t make it.

Less rush would mean more time for civility, fewer errors and a better atmosphere.

I really think this is at the root of the problem. Many European restaurants assume that a table booking is for the whole night.

So maybe the real solution is to slow down a bit?

Here is the text of the mail I sent to Leslie Brenner, the write of the piece in the LA Times. Make of it what you will.
——-Begin Quoted Text——
Hi Leslie,

Nice article in today’s LAT. You might want to check out the blog WaiterRant (if you haven’t already) for more on the same line.

Also, there should be a comparable Diner’s Bill of Responsibilities:
1) The diner has the responsibility not to lie when they make a reservation: it’s really for 8, not 4 or more maybe.
2) TDHTR to show up on time or call. 15 minutes leeway is very normal, showing up 30-45 minutes late and expecting the table anyway is just rank entitlement.
3) TDHTR to order what they REALLY want and not expect the waiter/waitress/bartender to read their mind.
4) THDTR not to lie to the waitstaff about allergies.
5) TDHTR to tip appropriately, and bring complaints to management’s attention, not just stiff the waiter because the steak was underdone (but eaten).
6) TDHTR to not disrupt other diners, either with excessively loud conversation, cell calls or shoving chairs into other tables.
7) TDHTR not to behave like a spoiled brat. If there’s a problem, asking the waiter to take care of it is sufficient. Publicly announcing all your travails is not necessary.

There are more, but I think you could write it better than I can

______end Quoted Text_________

I eat out 2-3 nights a week. I was in food service for 10+ years (started as Pots, moved up to dishing, bribed a cook to show me short order, talked my way into prep, eventually cooked for a construction crew out in the woods. Quit when i found out I could still cook for my friends but also have a life.) I started and closed a retail store. I think I understand something about customers (even if my spelling isn’t always perfect.)

Calling non-performers on the carpet implies some measure of specificity: who what when where. Making general comments is not specific. (Not specifically directed at Anita: many people who are not happy with the response they get to complaints about the food service industry believe that they were making a point about someone specific, but in the effort not to attack, they left out ALL the salient details, and ended up with what feels like an attack on the industry.)

take care, all.

John

I believe this is what we are discussing here, not simple human mistakes.

My friends and I have often mused on what wonders a compulsory service stint could work. I’m all for it!

I am a professional server (who also served his time behind the lines in the kitchen) who only recently realized that I was, in fact, a professional. I do think the vast percentage of us consider ourselves as something other than a waiter. The plain fact for me is that, though I am lucky enough to actually get paid something for writing, waiting tables pays my bills. Actually, it allows me to do the other things in life that interest me. For that, I am very grateful.

I am also lucky enough to work in an environment wherein I am taken seriously as a server; a place where service is considered as important (or moreso) than the food itself. I love going to work at a place where guests, in general, do not view the service staff as, well, servile. I’m saddened to know that this is a fairly rare situation.

I could go on and on about my views regarding service, but I think I should spare you all. For now.

Great piece!

Michael

and yes..i have worked in restaurants. and no, i never thought it was my(or *yours*) business to change the diners’ personality or character..not to mention their food habits. this shabby show of manners is not an excuse for a disgruntled employee. if you are disgruntled, take it up with your employer and ban vegans from your restaurant. sheesh!

Sorry. I should say something more intelligent. I’m just glad to see that eating out inspires so much passion! Everyone’s right on both sides. Restaurant guests should be graceful and polite. Service should be a flawless, beautifully choreographed dance. Unfortunately, not every server is Baryshnikov, nor is every guest Miss Manners. Waiters, cooks, managers, paying customers — we’re all just humans trying to do our best, trying to lead happy lives. Mistakes happen. People act abominably on both sides of the plate.

As a customer, I’m with Matt on this one. I rarely get poor service, because I treat people with respect, have good manners, and I smile. And when I do get “bad” service, I’m forgiving and don’t take it personally. I figure everyone has a bad day every once in a while.

As a soon-to-be restaurateur, I know I’m on the road towards mountains of frustration, just as Shuna has expressed. My service staff and I will make mistakes, especially early on. Just know that we will all be trying to do our best to dance our little hearts out.

My two cents: the kitchen is a huge part of the service equation. The most likely reason Stephanie’s pizza was delayed was because the cooks underestimated and/or miscommunicated how long it would take them to fire the pizza, how backed up their orders were. I could go on and hypothesize about the mounting frustration that must have ensued in both the kitchen and on the floor that night, but I’ll leave that up to your imaginations (none of us were there that night or know what actually happened. Clearly the issue wasn’t even communicated to Stephanie’s hubby).

The point I want to make is this. The kitchen is service staff. They are members of the same team. Therefore, they deserve a portion of the tips. The laws as they are currently written do not allow the kitchen to receive tips. There is only one legal way around this: a mandatory service charge. That’s the way it’s done throughout Europe. That’s the way it’s done at Chez Panisse, where they add 18% to your bill, even in the Cafe.

A service charge would accomplish several things, but I’ll just focus on one here. It would help decrease the great disparity in pay between front and back of the house. Earning a portion of the tips would communicate to the cooks that they are part of the team, not the second class citizens that their pay tells them they are. The way the system is set up now inspires a lot of animosity between the kitchen and the floor staffs. I could go on, but I’ll stop for now and save it for a longer post on my own soapbox.

Oh, I shoulda just left it at “Woof!” Thanks for ingniting our passions, Shuna.

You know what? We all have a story. We all get horrible and exceptional service, we all work hard to make money, we all want to be treated with respect, we all have manners,

sometimes.

And sometimes we are awful customers, awful workers, awful cooks, awful managers.

This piece was meant to say, in an ironic way, that it seems that if more of us tried to walk in the other person’s shoes, we might be able to extend a broader, less petulent, more well-thought out argument/ benefit of the doubt, etc.

I guess not.

Perhaps those of us who have done it before are worse customers, because we know how it COULD be done better, how it SHOULD be done better.

The state of the industry today, or how I see it in my myopic world is this: it feels hard to find people who have my work ethic. (When I was 14 and working in a factory I was proud of the work I did– it’s who I am– I like to learn and hold my head up.)

But not everyone is me.

I didn’t read the Diners Bill of Right’s. I will on my next day off.

It’s dreadful getting treated poorly, no matter whose shoes you’re wearing. It’s dreadful being kept in the dark or givent the silent treatment by those unable to take responsibility for their actions/ inactions and the actions of others who they are working alongside with.

I wish I could say that my workplace is perfect and that all that I have done and do every day to inform and teach and inspire and communicate and problem solve etc etc etc but I can lead them to water but I can’t make them swim.

“I’m confused at how calling the non-performers on the carpet somehow denigrates the entire restaurant-serving population.”

Yes, I’m confused about how suggesting that more people take a look at the possibility of wearing someone else’s shoes is seen as an attack on everyone I’ve ever served/ known.

If I am to take responsibility for being thin-skinned and bratty, then so must you.

We all feel like we deserve. We all feel like we’re worth something.

And depending on our delivery of such feelings, we will get various responses in return.

I am a harder customer, but also more grateful customer in return, t please in a restaurant. It’s just that these days I feel like throwing up my hands in exasperations because I see the whole picture of the whole industry and anyone who comes to me with a story (it happens to me all the time, everywhere!) either will hear the story, as I see it, or they will hear my frustration (because I am now the boss of some of these people) or maybe I’ll just be in a bad mood and I’ll say something like the condensed version of this post,

“Have you ever cleaned toilets for a living? Have you ever thanked your garbage collecter, bus driver? Have you ever sent a letter to the management of a restaurant when your service was stellar?
Have you ever stood behind a counter for minimum wage because you had to eat/ pay your own way?”

This is because sometimes I am patent, and sometimes I am not. Just like the rest of the humans in the world, wearing a uniform or not.

L.A. Times, “Diners, stand up for your rights”

i would like ‘John’ to give it a read and tell us which one of those demands is unreasonable..and what exactly is his list of ‘diners’ responsibilities’

curious minds want to know.